The Wise Buddha-hahahaha

Beware Of Barney Frank And His A.C.O.R.N. Connections, Concoctions, Contortions And Congressional Cover Up. He Is Possibly The Most Dangerous Individual In Congress.

This is a repeat blog from May 17, 2009. I'm repeating it because Barney Frank rides again with more liberal lunacy in store for all of us with the new legislation this "luminary" is drafting.

Keep an eye on the news this week to see what Old Barn' is up to.

I can't vote Barney out...but I can vote against the rascals in my neck of the woods who vote with him...and so can you!

No more Spend-O-Crats or Wastepublicans!

Will members of Congress side with A.C.O.R.N or with taxpayers:

LISTEN TO THIS PLEASE!!

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2009/05/13/rep_bachmann_barney_frank_gutted_acorn_amendment.html

THE BLOG HEADLINE OF MAY 17th WAS:

"Let There Be Dark!" Is Bwarney Fwank The Head Of The Illuminawti**? Or Just Another ACORN Nut? You Don't Have To Be A Mensa Member To Know Crazy When You See It. Because It Looks Just Like Bwarney Fwank!

Dear Pals,

That's not Illuminati...it's Illuminawti?** Or, Illuminaughty...the creatures of the night, their motto is "Let there be dark!" They are a bunch of dark-deed-doing-dimwits that perpetrate all kinds of dastardly deeds and downright stupid stuff.

They never "let a crisis go to waste." Carpe noctis!

And what about ACORN and Bwarney Fwank and Jerry Nadler and John Conyers et al.?  (Has anybody see Chuck Schumer lately...he's been as scarce as "Nancy Pelosi's Truth.")

What's the connection?

Hmmm...therein lies a very interesting question. Stay tuned.

In the meantime, keep your eyes on The Bwarney Fwank Sponsored State of California Bailout Plan.

Bwarney will swtutter and swtammer like Elmer Fwudd  and he'll impwassionately tell us we'll have to act in another BIG FWAT hwurry because "we must do swomething" and evewyone knows Califwornia is "too bwig to fwail."

Everyone laughed at me and ridiculed "my little experiment" when I wrote: The Birk Plan - Zillions, Trillions Billions, Millions...what's a few zeros among friends. (SEE MY BLOG of 09-18-08)

Well, as I warned, once you start down the slippery slope by bailing out AIG, and Fwannie Mae and Fweddie Mac, and subprime mortgage holders...where does it end?

Oh yeah, Financial Hell!

Now it looks like the next bailout of the irresponsible will be in The Bwear Fwlag Repuwblic. And, good old Bwarney Fwank, that Mwaster of Econowmics and Fwiscal Owersight is weading the cwharge.

He's pwrobably doing this becwause Nutzi Nancy Pwelosi is too busy impunging the weputation of the CIA and everyone in the Bwush Adminiswation. And Waxman the taxman, doesn't want to pwush the bwailout bewause it'll look too self-serving.

So the left coast loons have gone downeast to find a wiberal champion...Bwarney Fwank. (Chuck Schumer must have been too busy or the Cal-bailout may have looked a lot like a "political third rail" to him.)

Wait until this new Bwarney doo-doo hits the fan. Congwessman Fwank is planning on having you and me and the rest of America pay for the mistakes, stupid social policies, financial excesses and liberal largess and downwight lunacy of Califwornia.

I have a question. Can we vote on Bwarney's INSWANE idea? 

Or do we just have to have sit passively by as this newest piece of liberal legislative nonsense is shoved down our throat (or up our youknowwhat) by Blithering Blathering Bwarney, Nutzi Namcy and the rest of the Spend-O-Crats and Wastipublicans?

What's the next bailout State?

Maybe it'll be The Commonwealth of Matthachweswetts, Bwarney Fwank's hwome swtate, where the unemplowyed are actually gwiven fwree cars at twaxpaer expense to dwrive while wlooking for jwobs? 

And, if they can't find a jwob...they get to keep the cwar.

I don't make this stuff up.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: See you in the Gulag! Or on the Concord Bridge.

Help Stamp Out Boring Lunches...Thrill Your Taste Buds And Keep "Char Of The Bar" Reigel And "Brenda The Best" Happy!

Dear Pals,

I'm not getting a dime for this plug. Not even a free hors 'd ouerves.

Nor am I angling for one.

This is a purely spontaneous tip of the hat to one of St. Louis' little gems...Frank Papa's Ristorante on Brentwood Boulevard.

QUESTION DU JOUR: Do you ever get on "auto pilot" and go to lunch at the same old place without even thinking about it?

I do.

Well today I was on my way back from Steve Adam's studio en route to my office and I planned to stop at the "same old place."

But on the way, I passed Frank Papa's' Ristorante at White Avenue and Brentwood Boulevard.

It had a sign in the window: OPEN FOR LUNCH Wednesday through Friday.

Well, since Loring was taking her friend Lisa out for a Birthday Dinner, (I presume they were dining in their birthday suits, so I wasn't invited) I knew that I was going to be on my own, so I decided to have dinner at lunch and swung My Old Red Baby into Frank's parking lot

My gal pal Brenda from the recently deceased Zinnia's, who now worked at Frank Papa's, had told us that they were open for lunch, but frankly, I had forgotten it. I asked for Brenda, but she was off for the day. So I put myself in the capable hands of "Char of the Bar."

To make a long story longer, I enjoyed a fabulous lunch - a rigatoni pasta dish with beef marinara sauce made with sausage and bacon.

Ummmmmmmm...mmmmm...mmmmmm!

OMG!!

My genial hostess was Char Reigel, (and she treated me regally) a long time employee of this white table cloth family-owned ristorante with an AMAZINGLY affordable and absolutely orgasmic lunch special menu.

So, if you find yourself on Brentwood, about 1.2 clicks south of I-40/64 near White Avenue, swing into Frank Papa's for lunch and tell Char of the Bar, Brenda the Best and Frank that "Birk sent me."

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: Now that Highway 40 (I-64)  is open to Brentwood Boulevard again - access to Frank Papa's is easy and breezy once more. Be sure to bring a hearty appetite and be prepared to have a few laughs with Char, Brenda and Frank.

GO THERE FOR LUNCH and be prepared to enjoy some mighty tasty lovingly-made Italian taste sensations...at prices very very very close to Panera's (once known as St. Louis Bread Company)...but miles apart in every other culinary dimension.

Put yourself in Char's or Brenda's hands - you will be thrilled with the food, the service...and rumor has it that that wine is pretty good too.

Of course, I wouldn't know.

Burp...hic...ahhhhhhhhh.

Here's The Absolutely Final Word On The Media Coverage Of The Media Coverage Covering The Coverage Surrounding The Coverage Of The Tragic And Untimely Death Of Michael Jackson The "King Of Pop."

Dear Pals,

The wall-to-wall 24/7 coverage of Michael Jackson's death and the subsequent celebrity coverage and reactions to the coverage of the coverage of the reactions to the news of his death's coverage and breaking news coverage about the updated news coverage and the coverage of the excessive media coverage and the subsequent coverage of the media's own coverage of its excessive coverage and follow-up coverage on the worldwide coverage of his death and the curious circumstances surroundig it was, well it was...in a word;

RIDCULOUS!

Birk, Commonsensetarian And Citizen Of The Republic

PS: Mercifully, we can now we can get back to the coverage of more important things.

What time does The Al Franken Show start?

What was that slimmest majority of Minnesota voters thinking?

I know Congress is already a joke...but, really folks...Al Franken.

Help me understand an electorate that votes for Jesse Ventura and Al Franken.

I'm confuddled and befused!

Maybe Lars and Ole had one too many "Stump Blowers" while ice-fishin' up there in the northwoods, by golly.

 

 

Life And Death And Jody. I'll Miss Running Into My Pal.

Dear Pals,

My daughter Libby called me from California on Monday night as I was leaving the office. She was utterly distraught with grief because one of her favorite Aunts had died totally unexpectedly at age 53.

I was shocked at the news.

Jody was my ex-sister-in-law and one of 11 children.

I spent many years with her family and have a lot happy memories from that history. Unfortunately, things didn't work out as planned and over time, I went from being a son-in-law to an ex-in-law.

Throughout the years, whenever our paths crossed, Jody was always very nice and kind to me. Since she made her career in the hospitality industry, I used to run into her in her work settings from time to time.

But, the last time I saw her was at the neighborhood carwash on a Saturday a fews months back.

Now, Jody might have weighed all of 100 lbs., if she had a 5 lb. weight in her pocket. She was very petite and wirey stature-wise, maybe 5' 2" in heels. But, she had always been a been a high energy, high emotion...total ball of animated energy.

The last time I saw her was no exception. She had her huge dog, Jack, in tow. He was a big boistrous bounding Lab-cross of some sort. Jody had him on a leash...or maybe Jack had Jody on one? It was a little hard to tell from the wild tug-of-war, exactly who was in charge.

Even though we hadn't seen each other in a long time, it seemed like only yesterday. Jody filled me in on the clan and updated me on what was going on. She tried to hook me up that day with my former brother-in-law who was in town on a visit, but he had already left for the airport, so I missed him.

Whenever I saw Jody...her personality and kinetic energy always picked me up. In my experiences with her, she never drained energy, she generated it, made it crackle and transferred it to those around her.

It's interesting that life is a lot about picking.

While we can't pick our parents or the family into which we materialize at birth, once we do have a family, we can choose to pick at the people who are in it, or we can pick up its spirit or we can even pick it apart.

The choice is ours for better or worse.

There are lots of memories to pick from when it comes to Jody.

I pick all the happiest ones when she was at the top of her game, alive, energetic and a force with which to be reckoned. Jody also had one of those full-body laughs and brother did she love to roar!

I will miss running into her...I'll miss her laugh a lot.

I know that her passing has left a big and sad empty space in the lives of her family and many friends.

I also know that she is being hugged and held in the arms of a very loving God today.

I send my deepest condolences to her Mom and her sibs: John, Ellen, Chris, Laurie, Gene, Greg, Pam, Stephen, David and Lisa.

Jody has just gone ahead to that future destination where she'll be waiting for all the rest of us.

Birk, The Ex-In-Law

PS: I'll bet her Dad, "Bud" (I always think of him on his birthday, St. Joseph's Day, March 19th), Mom and Pop Dorr, Jake and Betty, Ollie and Kathy, Jack and Adie, Sam and Dot et al and the rest of the gang were all waiting there to welcome her.

While Obama Goes To Russia With Love, Did Joe Biden Really Open The Door To An Israeli Airstrike On Iran's Nuclear Facilities? Or Was He Just Romanov The Reservation Again?

Thanks to the eagle eye of my pal Todd, I corrected the spelling to Israel from the inadvertent typographical transposition of Isreal. Mea culpa.

Dear Pals,

Whenever Vice President Joe Biden speaks, I have a curious reaction that is a cross-between giddy laughter and a shriek of stark terror.

While our inspiring new President is abroad in Moscow "resetting" the US-Russian relationship with his own brand of charismatic personal diplomacy that has been dutifully reported to enchant people far and wide,

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31771695/ns/world_news-europe

...Joe Biden was on the loose on TV saying, "if Israel decided to hit Iran's nuclear reactors that it was within their rights as a sovereign nation."

Hmmm...is that just another Bidenism ( Bidenism: an ill-advised and intemperate jibber-jabber gaffe from the "Scrappy Kid From Scranton,") or did he accidentally blurt out a little insight into a significant shift in U.S. foreign policy in the wake of the recent elections and political unrest in Iran?

If I was a mullah in Teheran, I might be wondering if the Vice President's statement effectively amounted to the equivalent of Pontius Pilate washing his hands in a difficult spot? Is he trying to walk a fine line between the Jewish population in the the United States and the Muslims of the Islamic world, by saying Isreal is on its own.

Was Joe really saying, "Hey, if Israel hits Iran, it's their decision and theirs alone. We can't control them. Ergo, we can't be accused of being responsible for aiding, abetting, encouraging...or possibly even, supporting or standing behind that kind of unilateral Israeli action???"

Hmmm...I may be nuts, but Obama appeared to have been keeping Joe on a very short leash with a tight muzzle on lately; for him to suddenly resurface on Meet The Press and make this kind of statement while his boss was headng out of town , seems a bit incongruous and yet, curiously coincidental in an Administration that carefully orchestrates everything.

Where is Secretary of State Hillary Rodam Clinton?

She's been as silent as the Sphinx since Obama's speech to the Muslim world in Cairo. I would expect that she, not "Clueless Joe," would be the leading Administration spokesperson on matters of this highly sensitive nature.

Everybody knows The Middle East is a "powder keg" and the last person who needs to be playing with matches and gasoline in that environment is Joe "Shoot from the Lip" Biden.

Of course, if and when the do-do hits the fan, Obama can always say, "Hey I was out of town in Moscow, I didn't say that...and, well you know Joe...hahaha." (Flash trademark Obama smile here)

Keep an eye on this...there's more here than meets the eye, methinks.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: While he's in Russia, I wonder if our apologetic and charismatic President offered to create a "Czar" to oversee the new pathway to nuclear disarmament (a.k.a. the non-deployment of the U.S. Protective Missile Defense Umbrella in Europe.)

Maybe he should appoint Vice President Joe Biden to that Czar role. The Russians have a long history of dealing with Czars. It would probabably work out just fine for Obama too, especially if Joe goes Romanov on his own in the Russian countryside.

Ekaterinburg is thataway Joe!

 

Hellooooooooooooo Vice President Joe Biden! You Need To Get Out Among Real Folks More Often, Then You Might Know What Reality Looks Like.

Dear Pals,

The Obama Administration assured us that the Trillion dollar Stimulus Package would keep unemployment at 8% or below. On Sunday, Vice President, "Clueless Joe" Biden said on Meet The Press, "That nobody realized how bad the economy really was..."

atlantis.cbsnews.com/2100-100_162-4752148.html

What the old Gaffemeister meant to say was, "None of us political elites who live in the Bubble Of Fantasy and Privilege knew how bad the economy really was. Only the people who have real jobs and live in the real world knew that!"

Hey Joe!! You shoulda read my Fearless Forecast!! Here's what I predicted from my Mainstreet perspective way back on January 12, 2009...before your administration and the Congressional morons threw a Trillion dollars into the wind.

__________________________________

FEARLESS FORECAST 2. Frugal Is The "New Cool" - flashy and conspicuous displays of wealth are out - saving money is in. Vacations will still be treats for many...but, out-of-sight, bought on sale and farther away from home, shorter and much more discreet.

Nobody's flashing wealth in the presence of unemployment that will blow through the 8% and 9% level and breach 10.2% by mid-Q2-2009. Yike!

___________________________________

SCARY THOUGHT OF THE DAY: Please pray for the safe return of our inspiring new President from Russia where he will "give away the store defense-wise."

Because if anything terrible were to happen to him, "Clueless" Joe Biden and Nutzi Nancy Pelosi are next in line.

OMG!

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: By the way, I'm NOT gloating...I'm barfing!

PS2: How about adding the message below to every email you and your pals send, I'll bet that if enough of us ordinary U.S. Citizens did it, the message would get through to the brave souls over there:

To all the liberty-seeking people of Iran from the liberty-loving people of America: COURAGE!

The torch of liberty when lit by even the smallest spark can never be extinguished in the heart of man.

Alaska Governor Sara Palin Makes News! Is The Prediction I Made In My 2009 Fearless Forecast Coming True?? Can She Lead A New Movement That Can Cause America To Make A U-Turn On The Obama Highway? Is The DNC View Absurd And Condescending? Or Just Stupid?

Dear Pals,

Sara Palin's big and unexpected resignation announcement apparently caught everyone by surprise.

The immediate speculation included:

Is she leaving politics for good?

Is she caving in under ethical investigative scrutiny and pressure?

Is there a skeleton in her closet?

Is she getting ready to run for the White House in 2012?

The Democrat National Committee (DNC) wasted no time in issuing the following statement from: DNC Spokesman Brad Woodhouse:

"Either Sarah Palin is leaving the people of Alaska high and dry to pursue her long shot national political ambitions or she simply can't handle the job now that her popularity has dimmed and oil revenues are down. Either way - her decision to abandon her post and the people of Alaska who elected her continues a pattern of bizzare behaviour that more than anything else may explain the decision she made today."

WHOA Brad!

Who is this Woodhouse GENIUS anyway?

Who believes that the DNC's assertions are accurate or are even the only two possible reasons for her decision; other than the rest of the really really really smart people like him at the DNC, who love to think for all of us feeble-minded citizens??

I'm not surprised to see this kind of rhetoric and bile gurgling up from the DNCistern. The DNC is so used to the lies spun and spewed out by their Democrat politicians, that they wouldn't know the truth if it hit them between the eyes like a hollow point .44.

I heard Sara Palin's speech yesterday and I heard her say loud and clear that her decision to resign as Governor was based on these principles, values and priorities:

1. Faith in God - what's right and true.

2. Family - what's best for her family.

3. Alaska - what's best for Alaska.

I'm not surprised that the DNC can't understand her reasoning. The thinking of people with real principles and genuine values is simply unchartered territory for the self-proclaimed intellectual elites at the DNC. 

I'm not surprised that the DNC thinks that giving up a prized-plumb political job like being a Governor is  "bizzare behaviour."

You see, the DNC thinks the arguably aberrant behaviour of Barney Frank, Chris "Countryside" Dodd, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Charlie Rangle, Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, Howard Dean, Bill Clinton, Tim Geithner and ACORNian activists is "normal behavior."

DNC Law Number 1 states that once you have a political office that you must to hang on to it no matter what. Ask Senator Arlin Spector, the Pennslyvannia Pollcat, the newest Democrat about that.

The DNC knows that political office is the golden-lifetime ticket to status, personal privilege at public expense, special perquisites, unchecked power, lifetime pensions, special retirement plans, special health care plans and a legal license to steal and line the pockets of the party and your fellow politicians.

I think a large body of evidence will support my assertions...on both sides of the aisle.

Let's take a close look at Sara Palin's thinking and her priorities:

1. Faith - she believes in Jesus Christ. Oh my God!! Some people even say she's a "Christian Fundamentalist" - so, if she doesn't believe in Jesus Christ in a certain way that's acceptable to the mainstream media then it's okay to deride her and ridicule her "brand" of Christian beliefs.

The DNC knows that godless Secular Humanism is the only way to fly.

I find myself in Governor Palin's court here. People who know me know that I am not an orthodox religious kinda guy. Far from it. But, I do admire folks with a strong belief in Judeo-Christian values. I don't admire the folks who do really bad stuff in the name of their special version of God's will or because it's deemed to be politically correct.

2. Family - It's painfully obvious that she loves her kids and that her family is most important to her. She refused to abort her youngest child, Trigg. Some people think that Sara Palin was irresponsible for knowingly carrying a down-syndrome child to term.

What presumptive and arrogant nonsense!

Many of this same ilk were quick to defend abortion specialist, Dr. Tiller when he was sadly murdered. He killed 60,000 babies, many by late term abortions; where a hole is punched in a viable baby's head and then the infant's living feeling brain is sucked out.

Dr. Tiller was hailed as a "hero who helped women in need" by the Secular Humanists. (Although I fail to see anything even remotely Humanistic about killing defenseless babies.)

Sara Palin has been criticized for her choice to choose LIFE for Trigg. I'm with Sara on this one too.

Killing babies is well, killing babies. I'm not in the camp of the liberal loons who say, "Shoot a wolf or a moose...it's an outrage! Kill a baby...oh, that's okay."

Sara Palin also refused to take any late night Letterman Lip. She called him out and made him apologize for his really cheap and sleazy shots at her daughters.

Where was the outrage from feminists about Letterman's crude and tasteless remarks?

The silence from N.O.W. was deafening.

Sara Palin knows that her family isn't perfect...but it is her family and she understands that family is very important. One might even say, "fundamentally important," because the nurturing environment created in a two-parent: Mother and Father family is the cornerstone of a stable home, city, state and a nation...maybe even a world.

There are many other politically correct and alternative definitions of what a "family" is today, but so far, I haven't seen a better archetype than a family led by a loving Mother and Father.

I'm with Governor Palin on her personal right to choose LIFE for Trigg. And I'm with her on standing by and up for her family in the face of smug smears by societal elitists like so-called funnyman David Letterman.

You'd think feminists would like and admire Sara Palin, she is a strong and intelligent woman who seems capable of doing any job she sets her mind to.

So why were other women so deathly silent when she and her family were being trashed??

Ooops, I forgot Governor Palin didn't go to Smith, and she isn't a Democrat or a Secular Humanist like that pillar of intellectual feminist supremacy, Joy Behar of da View.

3. Alaska - The DNC would like you and me to believe that Governor Palin "simply can't handle the job now that her popularity has dimmed and oil revenues are down."

Bull Roar!

She proved that she could handle the job. Her administration's record is clear, enviable and admirable. She leaves Alaska in the capable hands of a great team. There was no groundswell to make her step down.

This was her decision.

And, I for one, believe her stated reasons and find her to have her priorities in admirable order. Like Cinncinnatus of Rome, she does not covet or lust for enduring power. She knew how to serve well and then how to return to her "real life."

So what now?

Well back on January 12, 2009 in my Fearless Forecast, here's what I wrote:

"6. The Values Of The Greatest Generation Will Have A Rebirth - Baby Boomers are now Senior Boomers and they will harken back to what they learned about "hard times" at the knee of their grandparents and parents. Books on rugged individualism, independence and self-reliance will gain in ever increasing popularity. Basic training in bedrock life skills like saving, work ethic values, square dealing and self-reliance will once again be emphasized.

In a surprising resurgence, Theodore Roosevelt's life and epic actions will be revisited in many books. WWTRD wristbands (What Would Teddy Roosevelt Do) might even emerge as visible statement of American strength of character, optimism and idealism as TR's trust-busting-style of personal integrity and zest for living takes hold and the values and energy of the old Rough Rider ride again. Ironically, the Bull Moose-hunting Governor of Alaska will play a leading role in this resurgence of the rugged individualism movement."

__________________________________

That's what I think Sara Palin will do. I think she will become the very articulate and persuasive point person on the resurgence and revitalzation of a movement - note I said, "movement" not "party."

I think Sara Palin is going to hit the trail all across the nation - in cities and towns, hamlets and crossroads. I think she's going to carry a flag with three words boldly emblazoned on it.

God

Family

Country

I think that eternally-sound hierarchy is just right for these arguably world-turned-upside down times. It reminds me of the maxim that guides an institution that I also admire, The USMA at West Point, where Duty, Honor, Country still resonates.

Someday, I hope to shake Governor Palin's hand.

I admire her grit and gristle.

I wish her well and I hope she can help ignite a movement that will cause America to make a U-Trurn from the path our inspiring new President and the Spend-O-Crats and Wast-E-Publicans have sent us careening down.

If Tom Hanks hadn't made the movie, The Road To Perdition, that might make a pretty good theme for the current State Of The Union.

Go Sara Go!

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic.

PS: To DNC Spokesgenius, Brad Woodhouse: "Hey Brad, GFY! "

If you don't know what GFY means, it's a personal directive of a copulatory nature...if you need clarification call me. 314-918-7500.

Oh, by the way, if the DNC continues to issue such absurd and highly questionable statements, DNC may also come to mean: Denigrate Normal Citizens.

After all, the folks at the DNC are very very special and very very smart and they know what's best for all the rest of us poor Schmoos.

I also had a really mischievious totally Out-Of-The-Box thought...what if Sara Palin and Hillary Clinton ran together? Now there's a thought that will make Joe Biden fill his Depends.

Hahahahahaha...don't laugh too soon, politics has been known to make strange bedfellows.

Enough brain-shaking for one day.

I remain, The Wise Buddha-hahahaha, alone in my mind without adult supervision.

IMPORTANT NOTE: FOR AN ALTERNATIVE PERSPECTIVE PLEASE GO HERE:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31745445/ns/politics-washington_post

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31737517/ns/politics-more_politics/

Independence Day, The Fourth Of July: A Time To Stop The Relentless Assault On Liberty And Freedom By A Fiscally Irresponsible And Out Of Control Government Rife With Corruption, Crooks and Cronyism. Have A Hebrew National Kosher Frank And Enjoy The Day!

Dear Pals,

Please start by watching this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thR-lVuztIY

Now, when you are through, please, answer two simple questions.

1. Do you like where our inspiring new President Obama and the corruption of Congressional cronies, crooks and morons are taking our country?

If YES...(end survey here)

If NO proceed to question 2.

2. What are you personally doing about it?

________________________________

Many months ago, I decided the find out if a minority group consisting of one Citizen of the Republic (The Minority Group is me: a highly imperfect "heavy set" [aka FAT!] white male, German-Irish, Catholic-Episcopalian, Commonsensetarian, small business owner) armed only with Internet research resources, minimal typing skills and an abiding interest in American liberty and freedom could make a difference.

That verdict is still out. Or, maybe it has come in and it's a "Scotch Verdict: Not Proved."

I encourage you, my fellow Citizens of the Republic to take some serious quiet time - like 30-minutes - on this INDEPENDENCE Day to contemplate the concepts and blessings of FREEDOM and LIBERTY.

I fear, that if we stay on the FAST TRACK OF THE OBAMA ACORNIAN CONGRESSIONAL CZARIST GOVERNMENT that next year, we will all be celebrating DEPENDENCE DAY, as we dance like puppets on federal government strings around the socialist Maypole in the USSA.

Mayday...Mayday...Mayday...there is a message in that distress call.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: On a positve note, it was nice to see that our inspiring new President did not rescind the invitation he made to the the diplomats of Iran's thug regime to attend his "Hot Dog Diplomacy" events at U.S. emabassies. I can only imagine all the fun they'll have wolfing down hot dogs as they watch Kim Jong Il shoot his missles over Japan toward Hawaii.

I hope the Mossad has infiltrated the gatherings with Nathan's or Hebrew National Kosher Franks! I'd love the irony of a few Iranian thugs choking on a kosher dog mit kraut.

Oh Mama! Obama!

Let's all join hands, blow out the light of liberty and sing The Obamaman song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhhkF3dqXR0&feature=player_embedded

Feel free to share this with your Pals far and wide.

To all the liberty-seeking people of Iran from the liberty-loving people of America: COURAGE!

The torch of liberty when lit by even the smallest spark can never be extinguished in the heart of man.

BIRK 101: Tales Of The Advertising Wars: On "The Big Pig Pow Wow" Trail, When I Was Just A Wet-Behind-The-Ears Whippersnapper At Ralston Purina.

Dear Pals,

Ralston Purina's World Headquarters was in a building at 8th & Chouteau called Checkerboard Square, when I started working there in 1967. I was 19, just a few months shy of turning 20. My Dad had died a few months earlier at age 43 from lung cancer.

I had dropped out of St. Louis University and went looking for a job to help out my Mom who was trying to raise my 2 younger sisters and get back into the workforce after having devoted herself to managing the home for 21 years.

Since I was hoping to find a job with a large company that had a college education program, I put in applications at Anheuser-Busch, Maritz, Emerson Electric, Southwestern Bell and Ralston Purina.

I got lucky, a very nice man in the Ralston Purina Personnel Department named Bob Morton took the time to interview me. At the end of the interview, he said, "We have an unusual opportunity in Hog Chow."

Hmmm...Hog Chow, that sounded exotic and fascinating.

At first, I thought he was talking about a city in China. I had no idea that Purina made food for hogs. I was a city boy, I knew about Dog Chow. But, Hog Chow...well, that was news to me.

Mr. Morton sent me up to the 4th floor and I met with two men in the cafeteria, Bill Sims and Don Peach. Bill headed up the Hog Chow advertising group and Don Peach was his right hand man. They asked me a bunch of questions, and looked at my "art portfolio" - which consisted of a very amateurish bunch of cartoons and charicatures that I had drawn on the cardboard liners that came with laundered shirts. I also showed them my writing samples from the high school newspaper and some of my college "work" - such as it was.

When I look back on it, I wonder how they were able to supress their amusement at my naivete. But they did, and Bill Sims was to become my mentor. And, Don Peach was to become my guide, teacher and father confessor.

Then Don Peach asked me, "Can you drive a truck?"

At last, a question I could answer in the affirmative.

"Yes sir, as a matter of fact I have a chauffer's license and I drove a truck all last summer for St. Louis University's Plant Department as we emptied refrigerators and stoves out of the old Coronado Hotel that the university had just purchased."

Sims looked at Peach and said, "I think we've found our man. Get McGinty to sign off on him."

Next thing I knew I was waiting to meet John McGinty, the Vice President in charge of Advertising for the Chow Division, the agricultural arm of Ralston Purina, headed by Don Danforth, Jr., the grandson of William H. Danforth, the company's founder.

Well to make a long story short, Mr. McGinty signed off on me and I was hired for the glorious salary of $425.00 a month. I was literally in hog heaven.

My first job in advertising was to drive a Checkerboard van from meeting to meeting, across the frozen hills and icy roads of the American Hogbelt - Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, Missouri and Minnesota. I was the setup/teardown/speaker support man for the presenters in the winter series of all-day (7 am to 3pm ) hog producer meetings known as "Purina's Big Pig Pow Wows."

Don Peach was in charge of all logistics and he managed all the travel arrangements, pre-event promotion, dealer relations and co-ordination with the sales force and with the Chow Marketing Department which was headed by Tom Barnidge.

My job was to set up and run the Carousel projectors for the speaker support.

The sessions were on Hog Breeding, Genetics and Selection by Dr. Richard Hollandbeck, a Ph.D.,from Purdue; Manure Handling and Sanitation was handled by a local Health Products Specialist; Confinement Housing was discussed by L. Dale Purcell; Hog Health by Joe Hayden, DVM; and Nutrition by swine nutrition experts, Dr. Ray Sewell, Dr. Allen Nuwer or Dr. Bob Johnson. We also had a man from Dean-Witter, who explained the advantages of hedging and how to use commodity markets.

We put on 23 meetings that winter. So I watched each session 23 times...and at night, when we all had dinner together I would soak up the stories from the speakers. They were very nice to me and very helpful in answering all the questions their sessions had raised in my mind.

When the Big Pig Pow Wows ended, Bill put me in the office of Fred Rasche, who was out on vacation and said, "Now you get to write the PURINA SWINE FACTS BOOK." (I still have a copy of this masterpiece.)

My job was to interview and collect all the information from the nutritionists, geneticists, veterenarians and farm management folks and then put it all into a neatly organized and cross-referenced  package for distribution at the upcoming dealer and sales force training meetings.

One day Bill Sims asked me, "Birk do you know why I like you?"

"No, sir..."

"I like you because you don't know anything.

"You don't know diddley-squat about agriculture, advertising, marketing or anything. You're are a blank blackboard. I don't have to erase a lot of stupid or preconcieved ideas out of your head. You're the first trainee I've ever had who was so marvelously and completely ignorant."

Naturally, my chest swelled up a bit, because I felt pretty proud of the fact that my most prized assets were total ignorance and the ability to drive a truck.

I loved Bill Sims, he was a 43-year man at Ralston, an accomplished fine artist, cartoonist, writer and a true creative genius. No man influenced me more. He was like a Dad to me.

My teachers at Ralston Purina University were: Bill Sims, Don Peach, Ed Smyth (my dear buddy, the Horse Chow ad manager who gave me the nickname that remains a deep dark secret even to this day), Gene Hoy, Jean Harris, Mary Conners, Ronnie Bogdanovich, Wally Wangerin, Will Haynes, Bob Kurt, Frank Sanford, Don Van Scoyk, Jim Monahan, Carl Lampe, Don Kidwell, Phil Smith, Hank Hoester, Harry Holmes, Jack Duggan, Meade Summers, Lloyd Clay, Louetta Buechler, Bill Bowie, Conrad Berry, Gene Summers, Don Danforth, Jr., Bill Becher, Don Plagge, Fred Rasche, R. B. Thomas, Dick Wood, George Kyd, Hank Thill, Leo B. Gieszelmann, Jr., Al Tolin and Ms Evelyn Leatherbury...they all took "the kid" under their wings.

These wonderful folks gave me opportunities that many people at my young age would never have had for years. I worked with Ralston's top illustrators, cinematographers, photographers, marketing planners, researchers and analysts. I learned to shoot award-winning photos, to write scripts, radio commercials, to produce and direct films and to interview industry leaders as I criss-crossed the country on many assignments for Ralston Purina.

Because I was so young, blissfully ignorant and flexible, I drew a lot of assignments outside of the Hog Chow Group and got a taste of reporting and publishing by interviewing leading cattlemen, hog producers and top sales professionals as part of my duty writing stories for Checkergraph and the Purinagraph, the company house organs.

I was lucky. And, blessed beyond all possible belief.

I was raised in the Danforth "I Dare You " four-square tradition.

I often say, "I did my undergraduate work at the University of Kroger and Schnucks, but I got my Masters and Ph.D. at Ralston Purina University."

There is an old saying that, "Life can only be understood backwards, unfortunately it has to be lived forwards." 

Sometimes: Fast Forward!

Looking back on my career, not a day goes by when I do not recall some life lesson or business skill that I learned from my many colleagues, friends and instructors at that marvelously magical and mystical place called Checkerboard Square.

Thanks old friends, I am eternally in your debt.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: I was also very fortunate to have attended Washington University thanks to Ralston's Employee Tuition Reimbursement Program.

But, that's a story for another day...

_____________________________________

PS2: Think your problems are serious? Imagine being in Teheran.

 How about adding the message below to every email you and your pals send out, I'll bet that if enough of us ordinary U.S. Citizens did it, the message would get through to the brave souls there:

To all the liberty-seeking people of Iran from the liberty-loving people of America: COURAGE!

The torch of liberty when lit by even the smallest spark can never be extinguished in the heart of man.

BIRK 101: How To Collect From Chisling Deadbeats. Or 10 Highly Effective Questions To Ask For Immediate Payment When The Bill Is 120+ Days Past Due?

Dear Pals,

Everyone has some cash flow issues these days...but, some folks out there really are chisling deadbeats.

I have had a just a few incidents over the years when people, who originally came to us hat in hand and needed help in a hurry - then decided to ignore our bill after the work had been done, delivered and our subcontractors paid.

Now, I'm a very patient guy, some say, waaaaaaaaay too patient. Maybe that's because, I know and personally have been appreciative of the value of financial forebearance when honest people are caught in a jam.  

But after sending many invoice statements and many messages fail to get any response at all, there are 10 Highly Effective Questions that every chisling deadbeat needs to be asked.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THEM:

1. How long is your right leg at this time?

2. Is your major medical insurance premium paid?

3. Is extensive dental work and oral surgery covered?

4. Which do you think hurts worst...a power drill or a nail gun?

5. Do you enjoy river swimming?

6. Do you really think dropping and rolling will put out napalm?

7. Do you enjoy holding your breath?

8. When you turn your car on, do you ever wonder what will happen when you put it in reverse or drive?

9. Do you know where to get a Handicapped Parking permit?

10. Did you ever see the Bass-O-Matic skit on Saturday Night Live? Have you heard of Hand-O-Matic?

Collecting money after the work has been delivered and used, is a very hard thing to do.

Thankfully I have many friends in interesting professions, who actually enjoy making a personal visit and having ONE friendly little private, mano y mano chat with a deadbeat.

It's in that little private visit when my emmissary of financial illumination asks Question 11 and 12.

11.  Do you mind if I wait here in your office and clean my Glock while you write the check?

12. Or, would you like me to pick it up at your home at a more convenient time, like 2:00 am?

When these simple questions are asked with a smile by my pal Joe, who looks like a very muscular and mean Andre The Giant, remarkable things happen quickly.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: The late great Al Capone said it best, "You can get a lot further with a kind word and a gun...than with a kind word alone."