The Unicorn Society (Google it) accepts new words that better describe things. My son Matt called his trampoline a JUMPOLINE. His grandpa, Bud Hartrich submitted JUMPOLINE to The Unicorn Society and they accepted it because people don't tramp on it...they JUMP ON IT.
JUMP ON IT! That's what the St. Louis Cardinals did this year!
Here are some new words that I'm thinking of submitting to The Unicorn Society.
CARDELEBRATION - the party that is going on in St. Louis, Missouri.
CRIDE - a special brand of Cardinal Pride.
CARDISTANCE- special kind of Cardinal Persistence that goes the Distance
CARDAZING - being left dazed by amazing Cardinal batting.
CARDAZZLING - often used to describe Cardinal pitching and hitting.
And here's a few new twists!
WILD CARD TEAM - no jokers in the Cardinal's deck, just many players who are ACES!
Even the local hospitals have taken on new meanings!
MoBAT - the new name of MoBap (Missouri Baptist Hospital) where many fans were sent with CARDiac fanrthymia.
NO MERCY- the new name for St. Johns
CARDINAL GLENNON - Costas can field this one since it's his favorite!
BJC - Bats Jolt Competition
CARDDASHIONS - the beautiful women of the Cardinal Nation! Move over Kardashians!
BEATIES - the new name for Wheaties with Freese on the front.
And here's an idea for Ted Drewes...THE SQUIRRELY CARDCRETE - a concrete with lots of nuts and Cardinal red cherries...and the BEAT GOES ON!
Birk, Commonsensetarian, Citizen of the Republic and of the Cardinal Nation
PS: Here's a tip of my own "lucky Ellis hat" to the Texas Rangers - "One riot. One Ranger."
It still fits! Thanks for showing up at every game with that special kind of Lone Star Class and Pride. Especially the kind exhibited by your future Hall Of Fame Manager Mister Ron Washington.
We thank Almighty God for every lucky break!
The fans of St. Louis, the St. Louis Cardinals and the "Rally In The Alley With The Sally Lally*** Squirrel" all admire, respect and salute you!
Please don't come here again! : ) Unless it's for dinner at Rich LoRusso's or in the Tommy LaSorda Room at Del Pietros' on The Hill!
PS2: Thank you Lance Berkman! (No relation, I'm Birk, mon. Is that a Red Stripe or a Budweiser?
***What a team! What a town! What a time! What a tail!
The Spirit of Rocky and Bullwinkle flew in late last night in a nail-biter for the ages!
Hello!!!! Nestle Purina! RalCorp! Pillisbury!
QUICK cereal executives, introduce CARDIAC-Chex!
Or Shredded Rangers!
Or Pujols Power Pokes!
Or how about Fantastic Freese Flakes!
How many Cardinal fans went to the ER at BJC, SLUH, or St. John's Heart Hospital last night!
I heard that MoBap is changing its name to MoBAT!!
What a game! What a team! What a Town!
The Rangers and the people of Texas will always honor and Remenber The Alamo forever...but they'd love to forget the "cold snap" by Our Hometown Hero Local Lad Mr. David October Freese, the Never-Say-Die Raging Redbirds and the 6th Game of the World Series.
On to Victory!
Birk, Commonsenseterian and Citizen of the Republic and the Cardinal Nation!
PS: I have to lie down now....thumpity-bumpity-thumpity-bumpity...who needs another Cardiac Stress Test? Tune in tonight!!
PS2: If Denniger gets within 200 miles of St. Louis, we have a Predator with his name on it!
Ahhhh Fall! There is nothing more romantic and colorful than an Apple Butter run up the River Road to Grafton in the Red Baby. I feel the need to go there! If you're a River Lover you know what I mean! Maybe Friday weather permitting!
FYI: The Most Frequently "Hit" Birk Blog of ALL TIME! By a big margin can be found In the Birk Archives May 31, 2009 - can you guess the topic?
Bon Appirodent! Bon Appirat!
Please share this ManFood Recipe with your pals after Game 6 or Game 7 of the Cardinals vs Rangers World Series.
THE INGREDIENTS 1) 12 large carrots 2) 4 medium Yukon Gold Potatoes 4) 1 large extra Plump USDA disapproved- Treeratium Missouruis (Squirrel)
or - use Alleyius Southsideium (Alley Squirrel - only if "ON SALE at Frandeka's in Soulard)
or- use Basebalium Rallius (Baseball Squirrel - stew immediately if Rangers win) 5) 6 large onions - 2 white - 2 yellow - 2 Vidalia 6) 1 quart of homemade possum stock ( use skunk stock ONLY in summer) 7) 5 Green peppers (medium) 8) 1 1.75 liter of Jack Daniels
9) 1 flip of Maine Coon cat spit to "make it dance"
THE RECIPE STEPS: Skin, debone and chop squirrel into bite size pieces and braise meat chunks in well-larded or bacon fat greased deep iron skillet.
When seared - place braised squirrel meat in bowl and submerge in Jack Daniels Old No. 7.
Bring possum stock quickly to a rolling boil.
Turn back to low simmer.
Add in carrots - chunk-chopped to the size of a small-sized goose turd.
5-minutes later add unpeeled potatos sliced 1/2" thick and quartered
5-minutes later add in quartered onions
5-minutes later add in green peppers - half as rings and half as thin strips
OPTION: Use Cardinals red-yellow-orange and Rangers-green with envy
if you're in a festive mood
Add 1 Tsp of Kosher sea salt Add 1 pinch of cayenne pepper Add 1/4 cup of Pusser's Rum Add 1/4 cup of free-run Vermont Maple syrup
OPTIONAL SECRET KICKER: 4 JIGGERS of Green Chartreuse
Everything - including brain cells - goes better with
Cover and simmer for precisely 21.3 minutes over low heat
Remove lid and add in squirrel meat with Jack Daniels marinade.
Cover with lid, reduce heat and simmer for 31.5-minutes.
OPTION: You can add a small can of V8 and fresh-cooked, wide Dutch Noodles if you plan to serve Immediately.
If you plan to "porch age" for flavor melding outside overnight
like my Mother used to do with her amazing soup then add the noodles the next day just before serving.
As Mom said, "There's nothing worse than a soft limp noodle."
She also had opinions about wide Dutch egg noodles too.
Garnish with a sprig of parsely and top with tons of crumbled chunks of extra crisp apple-wood smoked thick slab bacon.
Serve piping hot with toasted thick crust Rosemary-Olive bread.
SPECIAL TIPS FOR THE MEEK:
If you don't have Possum Stock substitute BEEF Stock.
If you can't catch a squirrel from Tower Grove or Carondolet Park substitute 1/2 lamb 1/beef stewmeat.
Don't use chicken or cats...tried that didn't work
too well. But GATOR from Frandeka's Meat Market
in Soulard is a winner, especiallly if you like
that "chewy bite!"
You can leave out meat for vegetarian version.
You can leave out liquor...but WHY!
I think it tastes best out of my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle or Hopalong Cassidy bowl.
Drink the rest of the Jack Daniels before eating Birk's World Infamous Squirrel Stew. Serves 1 - So far, no one else will eat it. Secret Shhhh! This may be on the Winter Menu at Friendly's Bar and The Ritz Carlton in Jamiaca very soon.
Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic _______________________
PS: Remember the Motto of The Ancient Order Of The Veiled Squirrel's:
"You don't have to light the world on fire... just keep your nuts warm."
THE CARDINALS- Rangers WORLD SERIES HAS ONLY THREE POSSIBLE OUTCOMES: We have lured the opposition into a state of dazed over confidence thanks to a tour de force of sheer baseball genius that will be forever called:
The Double Super Secret La Russa Mystical Mix-Up Pitcher Play Ploy. BOY OH BOY!!! DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! It is a Mott Point!!
Now one of ONLY three things will happen.
1) The Cardinals will lose Game 6. Lights out. 2) The Cardinals will win Game 6. On we Go! 3) The Cardinals will win Game 7 at home!
That's it. Those are the ONLY possible outcomes, anything else is, well...UNTHINKABLE.
For there would be no "Joy in Budville."
Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citzen of the Republic
PS: If I am invited to the next 2 games. They will win. Otherwise, I will be home making Birk's World Famous Jack Daniels' Marinated Squirrel Stew.
Now that Gaddafi is literally "Dead Meat" in a supermarket freezer in Libya, New York City doormen at Park Avenue residence buildings and at the Pierre and Plaza hotels can go back to wearing their fabulously courtly and traditional uniforms complete with "scrambled eggs" on their hat brims, epaulets on their shoulders and gold braid on their coats.
No longer will their uniforms look like the uniform of a mass-murdering moron thug dictator.
May we all tip our hat in salute and give credit where credit is due, nice shootin' President Obama.
Two down three to go!
Happy Daze Are Here Again!
Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citzen of the Republic
PS: A tip of the hat also goes to President George W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan too. They also took the fight to the morons!
Now we'll have to wait and see if the dominos continue to fall...Syria...Iraq...Somalia...Yemen...North Korea. We also need to keep a predator eye on Afgoonistan and its neighbor Backstabistan.
REMEMBER: The enemies of freedom...still encircle and emperil the very existence of Isreal.
PS2: The reference to the "Fat Lady" in the title is NOT a reference to Hilary Clinton, who did not sing, but merely laughed and said,'We came, we saw he died."
I still think that HC will step up to challenge President Obama for the Presidential nomination to save the Democrat Party's bacon.