The Wise Buddha-hahahaha

Not Exactly A Hallmark Card - Mother's Day Memories From "The Moron."

A BLAST FROM MOTHER'S DAY PAST: FIRST PUBLISHED MAY 8, 2011

 

Rosemary Memories

My most vivid memories of my Mother, Rosemary,

are not of her baking cookies or even

of her at Holiday times with fine food,

family and festivities with friends.

 

My most vivid memories are of what

I call, "critical course correction" moments.

Those times when she not-so gently

delivered a message of displeasure

at my misbehavior and shenanighans.

 

I can recall the flicks of a weeping willow switch.

I can recall the butt smack of an old paddle ball paddle.

I can recall a "head knuckling" and an "ear pull."

I can recall her gentle voice askng, "What were

you thinking?" Or, "Wait until your Father gets home."

 

I can recall her sitting up with me all night

as we memorized chemical equations for

my final exam. I needed an "A" on the exam to earn a course grade "D."

She made it happen, with all the tenderness of

a USMC Drill Instructor at Paris Island.

 

I can recall her "briefings" before major

family events. Her detailed instructions were

specific, pointed and often punctuated with

"Or else." I once asked, "Or else what?"

A brief corporal demonstration instantly followed.

 

Now, don't get me wrong. I was not an abused child.

I was just a "boundary tester" - the kind of child who

was always pushing the envelope, although I would

have described myself as an experimental life enthusiast.

 

Mom understood that there were "book learners"

like my cousin Patty Perfect, and sisters, Mary Beth and Ann Marie.

And then there was "The Moron" for whom, book learning

was never quite enough...I needed the physical experience.

If I asked. "Is the stove really hot?"

She'd encourage me to touch it.

If I asked, "Will Mike bite ( her overly-trained uber-wonder dog)

if I grab his bone?" She'd say, "Why don't you grab it and find out."

 

My Mom loved me and fed me and hugged me a lot.

She baked cookies. Shook her head over the "U" and "L"

marks the nuns gave me for just being me.

My Mom taught me how to ride a bike in the alley.

My Mom put methiolate on every wound from a skinned knee to a fractured skull,

My Mom rubbed Vicks Vapor-Rub on to my chest.

My Mom spooned out Milk of Magnesia.

My Mom even rubbed Rueben's Solvens Balm onto

my broken arm after my back-riding and screaming-in-terror baby sister Ann Marie 

covered my eyes and caused me to crash my speeding sled into a concrete sewer. 

 

My Mom wiped my tears away at other times and tenderly told me to,

"Stop being a cry-baby!" and to "Punch Eddie Kelly in the nose, like this."

I can still see her knotting up her little Irish fist and

showing me how to deal with him and his bully pal Eddie Houchen.

 

My Mother told me, "Your name may be Birkenmeier.

But you're my son and that makes you a Collins.

Don't forget that." She always said, "When the

road gets rough, 'Bring out your Irish.' "

 

My Mother dressed me like a little gentleman.

Two-toned shoes, snappy suspenders and a

nice part in my hair. She hoped for a gentleman.

I came close...and turned out to be a well-dressed houlighan.

 

There are a million "Rosemary stories."

My cousins can recount them.

Loring can recount them.

My sisters Mary Beth and Ann Marie have

their versions too.

 

But all the Rosemary stories end the

same way -- with lots of laughter, glee and delight.

Rosemary Ann Birkenmeier (nee) Collins

gave it all she had and loved large.

Very,very, very large.

 

When the love of her life, Lawrence J. Birkenmeier

died at age 43, she said, "I had 20-years with a good man

and I could have had a lifetime with a louse."

 

She prayed her rosary everyday.

She never missed Mass on Sunday

or Holy Days. She always went to

City Hall and cooked corned beef

and cabbage on St. Patrick's Day.

 

I'm sure she's a Saint in heaven today.

Raising her children earned her that spot.

 

"Has anybody here seen Kelly?

Kelly from the Emerald Isle?

Her hair is red and her eyes are blue

You can tell she's Irish through and through.

Has anybody here seen Kelly?

Kelly from the Emerald Isle?"

  

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!

Miss you every day.

 

__________________________________

 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

TO ALL THE MOTHERS I'VE

BEEN PRIVILEGED TO KNOW!

 

__________________________________

 

PS: How come there is no Wife's Day?

I'm wondering if there should be because

not every Wife is a Mother. And vicey versa.

 As Rosemary used to say, "Don't worry about it...It'll all come out in the wash."

 

 Love,

The Moron

The Swallows Come Back To Capistrano. The Buzzards Come Back To Hinkley, Ohio. Where Are The Sparrows? Will They Come Back To St. Louis?

Dear Pals,

At the end of World War I there was a ceremony in Layfayette Square Park, where pairs of small brown English Sparrows were released. They were to serve as a reminder of the trip across the pond to fight the "War To End All Wars."

Those WWI veterans, like my grandfather, who returned to St. Louis from battles in the Meuse-Argonne, Soissons, Chateau-Thierry, Belleau Woods and from the postwar occupied Rhineland in 1919, saw the little English sparrow as ubiquitous reminders of "The Lost."

When I was a kid growing up in South St. Louis back in the 1950's, English sparrows were everywhere.

FAST FORWARD TO 2011.

The other day I was taking the long way to "The Hill" through The Clifton Heights neighborhood. And, as I waited for the light to change at Southwest and Watson, something very odd hit me.

There were no birds.

As I drove on, I began consciously looking for a bird.

Any bird.

When I arrived at New World Post, I asked my pal Mike the Beekeeper, if he had seen any sparrows out near his home in the far western near-country burbs.

He speculated, "No, I haven't seen any lately, but it may be the time of year."

We both looked out the window over "The Hill" neighborhood and saw only ONE small bird sitting on a wire over I-44 watching the cars go by.

Did all the birds go to Sebastapol for a remake of The Birds?

Did they move to Ladue, Chesterfield or Wildwood for sweeter suet?

Did we kill 'em off with pesticides?

Where are all the birds?

I'm totally asea here.

If anyone knows where the sparrows are...please leave a comment.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic.

PS: I'm not a birdwatcher, but Loring's Mom and Dad were. They went all over the world, literally from pole to pole and from Africa to the Galapagos. They spent over 20-years making their life list.

Many times they would get up early in the morning to go to trash dumps where local Audubon Society Members had recently spotted a rare bird. Once they went to an area in Texas where the U.S. Border Patrol swooped down on them at 5:00 am because they had taken up an observation position in the middle of a "drug drop" zone.

If you were a bird what would you be?

An Eagle?

Dove?

Hawk?

Crow?

Peregrine Falcon?

Stool Pidgeon?

Swallow?

Goose?

Duck?

Buzzard?

Wise old Owl?

An English Sparrow, MIA?

Or maybe a Loon, like me?

PS 2: I do have a sparrow in my den.

He's beautifully painted and made of fine bone china.

Below him is a little placque that gives me comfort whenever I read it...

"His eye is on the sparrow and I know God cares for you."

Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! To Everyone Who Helped St. Louis Kids Kick In And Go To Bat For The Kids Of Haiti!

Dear Pals,

When Haiti was rocked by a 7.0 earthquake...thousands of kids lost their homes, their families and all their earthly belongings. Who could stand idly by in the face of that kind of suffering?

Out of that awful situation, a few folks got together and started St. Louis Kids Kick In And Go To Bat For The Kids Of Haiti. It was an all-volunteer, opt-in coalition of the willing. Everyone was asked to just do what they wanted to do to help.

We had one meeting. Everything else we did by phone and emails.

We had a simple plan. Collect sporting goods from the kids and familes of St. Louis for the kids of Haiti. Kid to Kid. Family to Family. Blessed children to children who had lost so much.

We  had a simple objective. The kids of Haiti had lost their homes and many had lost their entire families...we resolved that they could not be allowed to lose their childhoods.

We never had a bank account.

We never had a formal steering committee.

It was just a grass roots get 'er done effort that used Classic Beer Wagon Marketing with an all-star team of "Clydesdales!"

Here's the list of champions who need to be Thanked!

The Wheelhorses: John Capps, Chris Wright

The Drivers: Greg Slack and Jim Regna

The Pulling Horses: John Weiss, John Sinclair, Lou Fusz, Butch Suntrup

The Turning Horses: Craig Suntrup, David Sinclair.

The Lead Horses: Mark Reardon, John Carney, Paul Harris, Nancy Long, Amber Branson and St. Louis University Soccer.

The Wagon Loaders: Casey Krebs, Ron Grubbs, Kate Muldoon, Matt Saunders, Terry Travis, Arlene Maminta, Mandy Pica, Susie Land, Sara Frieberger, Kim Kener, John Stamm, Bridget Brown, Bob O'Neil, Debbie Capps, Dick Ulett, Mike Sneden, Bob Dubinsky, Rick Steinberg, Mike Indelicato, Deeds Bonham, Jason Tessmer, David Sextro, Eliot Ulett, Kelly Roussin, Larry Hanneke, Kay Goding, Shawn Fogle, Steve Marsh, Jack Galmiche and Loring Van Slyck.

The Queen of Packing: Deborah Hostetter and her fabulous Project Inc. Team

FLAG SHIP SPONSERS:

Special Thanks to Royal Carribean Cruise Lines for getting the goods to the kids of Haiti and providing an incentive for contributors.

Special Thanks to Rawlings Sporting Goods who immediately contributed a container full of new sample sporting goods.

SPECIAL KUDOS TO: Sacred Heart Academy, St. Catherine Laboure, Lou Fusz Soccer, Scott Gallagher Soccer and Vetta Soccer Centers.

To Shawn Fogle and The Composing Room! - The Speed Kings!

To Larry Hanneke of Hanneke Silk Screen Products - The Frisbee King!

GENEROUS TV AND RADIO SUPPORT FROM: The Arbor Group, New World Post Productions and the whole gang at Clayton Studios for fast action on radio and TV PSAs

SPECIAL MEDIA THANKS FOR RUNNING PSA ANNOUNCEMENTS: Charter Cable, KSDK-TV, KMOX, KTRS, 101ESPN, The St. Louis Post Dispatch and DDA Outdoor.

LOGISTICS SUPPORT: Affton Trucking and Intermodal, Sunset Logistics, CB-Trabue/CB-Kramer

CAR DEALER AND OTHER COLLECTION POINTS: Plaza Motors, Weiss Brentwood Volvo, Suntrup Automotive Group, Lou Fusz Automotive Group, Dave Sinclair Automotive Group, Triad Bank, Robust Wine Bar and Cafe, Mandy's Candies, WaterWays Car Washes, Weiss Toyota of South County.

PERSONAL TIP OF THE HAT TO: Executive Sous Chef Matt Birkenmeier of The Liberty of The Seas, who was the catalyst for the effort - because he first told us of what he had seen and what tragic personal losses that his Haitian friends on the crew of The Liberty were going through. He became our man in Haiti.

Matt, thanks for all the photos, many radio interviews and inspiring stories about the crew of The Liberty and all of great people, who are Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines and for the outstanding medical and logistical support that RCCL stepped up to give so quickly, so willingly and so unselfishly to the people of Haiti.

St. Louis Kids Kick In And Go To Bat For The Kids Of Haiti was all done without permission and without government help and without a staff.

It was an all VOLUNTEER truly grassroots effort on the part many good-hearted people in St. Louis, who are never ones to stand idly by when people - especially kids - are in danger, pain and distress.

God Bless You One And All!!!

Warmest personal regards,

The Spotted Dog

On A Day When We Lay A Wreath At The Tomb Of The Unknowns, Remember, We All Know A Hero Who Wore Or Wears The Uniform Of The United States Armed Forces.

REPEATED FROM NOVEMBER 11, 2008 -

EQUALLY APPROPRIATE FOR MEMORIAL DAY 2009

AND FOR MEMORIAL DAY 2010

Dear Pals,

A real short one today, but from the heart on "Armistice Day" aka "Veterans Day."

Yesterday was the birthday of The United States Marine Corps. Semper Fi!

Today an at Attention salute to:

Sgt. Thomas E. Collins, 95th Co., First Marine Brigade attached to the 2nd Army "Indianhead" Division. Action: Chateau Theirry, Soissons, Belleau Woods and the Muese-Argonne Offensive. Purple Heart and Croix de Guerre with clusters. aka Grandpa.

Sgt Lawrence J. Birkenmeier, 94th Infantry Division, 3rd Army. St Lo to Bastogne to Prague. Bronze Star with four clusters, CIB and Victory in Europe. aka Dad

Arthur W. Birkenmeier, US Army combat infantryman in South Pacific. aka Uncle Art.

Irwin Schumacher, USAAF B-29 Tailgunner in South Pacific, India, Saipan and Tinian. aka Uncle Irv.

David Summers, Sergeant of Infantry, South Vietnam. aka David my Flying Squad police pal.

Capt. Ellis J. VanSlck, MD, US Army Medical Corps., my Father-in-law

Zenas R. Van Slyck, United States Navy, aka "Uncle Randy" - my brother-in-law

Harry T. Collins, US Navy, Pearl Harbor Survivor, aka Uncle Harry - my Mother's brother

Harry J. Collins, US Army WWI, aka Uncle Harry, my grandfather's brother

Frank T. Collins, Civilian Pilot - ferried B-17 Bombers to England

Capt. Eugene A. Hartrich, USAAF, flew "The Hump" India to China - aka Bud, my former father-in-law

Arthur "Chip" Miller, Greg Slack, Col. Julius Schweich, Ret., Leo B. Gieszelmann, Jr., John Tucker, Charles W. Scott, Floyd Wright, Tom Corrigan Jr., Jack C. Taylor, Kevin Ward, George Maty, George W. Van Slyck, John Murphy,  Art Birkenmeier, Don Durham Sr. and Jr., Churchill "Chip" Matthews, General Nathan B. Twining, John Kerr, Napoleon Maminta, General William Eagles, Michael Kass, MD, Dale Boemler and all the many other veteran pals I've been priviledged to know.

Thank you for your service to our Nation and to the world of free men.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

Return To Puma Punku - Au - Golden Memories Of Long Long Ago...Set 'Em Up Harry!

Dear Pals,

High atop the Bolivian Andes is Lake Titicaca ( sounds kind kinky-naughty doesn't it? ), not far away is the ancient city of Tiahuananco.

Tiahuananco is very impressive and somewhat ancient in its own right, but when it comes to being really ancient, Tiahuananco is like comparing St. Louis' Gateway Arch to the Great Pyramids of Egypt - when you compare it to nearby Puma Punku.

http://www.world-mysteries.com/mpl_6.htm

This link will take you to a site that will tell you a bit about both ancient sites.

Puma Punku is the oldest by far and far and away the most important.

It is the remains of an ancient Spaceport.

The individual 440-ton "wharf stones" that lead into Lake Titicaca at Puma Punku were not for docking ancient lake going ships...it wouldn't take precisely enginneered stones quarried many, many, many miles away to do that.

No lake craft of any size, even today, would require that number of precisely cut stones in that kind of massive weight volume to be used as mooring supports.

And, how did those ancient indigenous Indians move the stones up to that altitude? Llamas is NOT the correct answer.

Let alone cut the stones with interlocking-laser-like accuracy?

And then hoist them into position?

The answer lies beneath the waters and silt bottom of Lake Titicaca. There we'll find the ruins of a Spaceport built over 20,000 years ago by a Star Race from beyond this galaxy, who came here in search of the VERY same magical metal that was - because of them - to be later revered by the Indians, sought by the conquering Spaniards and is still the most highly-prized metal from ancient Sumeria (Iraq) to Egypt to China to Ft. Knox  and the vaults in Geneva and The Principality of Liechtenstein.

It's atomic symbol is Au or as Gordon Liddy likes to bellow, "GOLD!"

Puma Punku was the site where gold from all across the Andes was stored, processed for purity and loaded on to the starships that carried it back to Epsilon Bhoatis in the star system Alpha Centuri.

Once the mission was accomplished, the extraterrestrial visitors left.

They also left behind some cross-bred and "genetically enhanced" people, who subsequently became the Inca rulers, and they in turn sought to emulate the same stone work and gold mining activity of the star visitors. The later rulers also carved the lines in the Nazca deserts as an homage to their starborn ancestors...and as a "Welcome Back!" message for future visitors.

Puma Punka is not the only site on the planet like this. You can find evidence of the ancient gold-seeking visitors all around the world. The legends and lore of ancient civilizations from Sumer to the Mayan Temples and the real Halls of Montezuma are rife with stories...many carved in stone like those in Abidos in the Egyptian desert.

Did you ever wonder why mankind prizes gold?

And just when did we start prizing it?

Why did we exchange it for food, brides, livestock and land?

Did you ever wonder why the Dutch created Goldwasser?

BOLS even makes a Gold Liqueur today with real drinkable 22k gold flecks in it.

Did you ever wonder why gold in a ring is a symbol of connectedness and oneness?

Did you ever wonder how gold became to be so highly-prized by civilizations that evolved around the world - and that were not in contact with one another.

Well, at one time they were in contact through intermediaries from across space and time.

But, the human memory of it is all lost except in the fragmented legends of Sumer, Lemuria, Atlantis, Umpalumpah and The Great Flood.

Today we wonder about the Mayan Calendar and it's abrupt end in 2012.

We wonder about the apocholyptic writings in the Bible.

Wars and rumors of war.

Earthquakes, disease and famine.

The Tribulation and the Mark of the Beast.

But we never wonder about Au...and why gold is so valuable?

We just accept it...as a fact of economic life. But it's much bigger than that!

Why did star travelers come here and extract it from locations all around the world?

Why did we use Au in NASA's own space program to shield the Astronauts? Where did we get that idea?

Why do we talk about the gold standard, the golden age?

Why were ancient idols made of GOLD.

Why was the Ark Of The Covenant clad in GOLD?

Why was it called The Golden Fleece?? (I'm talking about the ancient one of Jason and the Argonauts, not the recent one involving Sallie Mae, Freddie Mac, Barney Fwank and Goldman Sachs.)

It's true that, "All that glitters is not GOLD."

But GOLD has a special glitter all its own and the secret is hidden inside its atomic stucture. Its been locked there since the BIG BANG was set off by the BIG THOUGHT of the BIG Thinker.

Don't take my word for it, look at Au's atomic number and its sub-atomic quantum dynamics.

Au is the key...and it's hidden in plain sight.

Birk, Commonsensetarian, Citizen of the Republic, Mob of One and Sage in the Snuggie

PS: Today is my 63rd birthday in this incarnation. Back in Puma Punku they called me, "Harry the Bartender."

No, wait a minute, that was in Carson City back in 1882...or was it '83?

You know you're going to have a Happy Birthday when you get an email from your Chef-son on the Liberty of the Seas, an e-card from Charlene and Harrah's and a hug from your wife and a good wish from Bioboy-son at his job.

Isn't life special?

Enjoy every golden moment.

See you in the stars! And in the bars!

I'll keep a stool warm for you. (Which is much better than keeping a warm stool for you!)

My Pal Dale Boemler Died Today. To The Very End He Was Doing Something Right, Righter And RightEST!

Dear Pals,

The St. Louis car industry has lost some real Champs this year.

Don Suntrup, Dave Sinclair and now Dale Boemler. The core and bedrock of the American automotive industry has shifted under our feet.

I knew all three men. Don from Bartalino's South where he liked to have lunch...often with his daughter Debbie and sons, Butch and Craig.

I knew Dave Sinclair from The Knights of the Cauliflower Ear where he and his best pal the "Fly Boy" John Tucker loved to laugh and roar. Dave had been a rookie cop on the STLPD with my late, Uncle Harry Collins back in the early '50's.

But I knew Dale Boemler best of all.

I worked for this wonderful, kind and unassuming man for a number of years and I came to know him well. The last time I saw Dale and his wife Kathy, it was at a Cardinal Baseball game. We were all in the KMOX Radio box with Matt Saunders, Kate "The Uncrowned Queen Of Ireland" Muldoon, John Sinclair, one of Dave's very able sons and heirs and a number of other folks.

When I asked Dale how things were going, he took me aside and told me that in the recent GM dealer "realignment," his family business - a Chevrolet dealership in Arnold, Missouri, that had been there since 1931 - had its franchise taken away. Boemler had been cut and jettisoned from The New Leaner and Meaner GM. 

I was stunned. But Dale delivered the news with his characteristic understated steadiness, "We'll be okay."

Despite his outward serenity, I sensed that this had hit Dale hard.

Only two or three years before, at GM's insistence, he had built a brand new multi-million dollar dealership, complete with new Showroom and a state-of-the-art Service Department.

To make matters worse, Dale's dad...a longtime pillar of the Jefferson County community had passed away earlier in the year.

I have many many fond memories of Dale Boemler and lunches down in historic Kimmswick (at the Blue Owl with milk and pie!). We started out as client and adman and parted as pals, who truly enjoyed each other's company and respected each other's skills. 

When I heard the news of Dale's untimely passing, I got a very eerie feeling because I was going to call Dale to thank him - I had noted that he had become a Friend on facebook of St. Louis Kids Kick In And Go To Bat For The Kids Of Haiti...a grass roots effort led by  St. Louis' leading car dealers.

Dale loved his family, friends, colleagues and co-workers and he had a slew of loyal multi-generation customers, entire families - who bought all their cars and beloved Silverados from Boemler Chevrolet.

While many car dealers resorted to loud and nearly manic chants in attempts to attract the customers' attention...Dale in his chacteristically understated manner simple promised to give his customers great American-made Chevrolets at a fair price, backed up by service-after-the-sale that put the customer first every time.

Dale always signed off with, "This is Dale Boemler for Boemler Chevrolet,  Jeffco at Telegraph in Arnold, since 1931.

Then he added a self-effacing afterthought that truly became his hallmark..."we must be doing something right."

Truth is, Dale Boemler did everything righter than right...he did everything in the rightest way he knew how.

I'll miss my old pal...and Loring and I send our deepest and heartfelt condolences to his wife Kathy and their sons, Derek and Chris, whose achievements they justifiably reveled in.

When I asked Dale's son Chris - who had called me with the sad news - if Dale had a heart attack, he said that was what was suspected.

In my own mind, I thought Dale might have died of a broken heart.

He loved being a Chevrolet dealer and he took great pride in the business his family had nurtured along through thick and thin since 1931 - though The Depression, WWII, Korea and VietNam, Gulf Wars and many economic ups and downs.

In the end, Boemler Chevrolet and Dale Boemler could survive everything except The New Leaner and Meaner GM.

It's just this one man's opinion, but I think The New GM is doing everything wrong...and Dale Boemler was always doing something right.

Our world here in St. Louis is greatly diminished by the loss of Dale and Don and Dave, those Magnificent Men In Their Automobiles.

Great competitors.

Great citizens.

Great family men.

Car guys to their very marrow.

All of St. Louis misses you wonderful guys.

Godspeed!

Birk, Commonsensetarian, Citizen of the Republic

PS: Here's a conversation at The Pearly Gates that I overheard in a dream.

St Peter: Yes Lord, The 3D's are here. Yes Sir, I'll bring 'em right up.

Dave: Thank you and here's my address...

Don: 7TH H E A V E N  C L O U D 9

Dale: We must be doing something right.

______________________________

Yes you did boys...yes you did.

Thanks 30,000+! There Is No Better Way To Learn How The Internet Works Than By Blogging. Here's Why!

Dear Pals,

When you start to blog, you never know where the journey will take you.

Yesterday, it passed the 30,000 unique page views level. There are some daily readers (when I was blogging daily), occasional drop-in pals and then "word" or "long trail phrase" searchers who find the blog that way, I also have some followers on Twitter, digg and Facebook.

I also get to see the "rhythm" of the blog - the number of page views per day...per week, month and year. It also shows in many cases the "track backs," so I can see the originating url and the word or phrase that was queried.

Every blog has its own ECG - that heartbeat that jumps up and down every day. There have been days as high as 1200+ and as low as 12 - the range is influenced by the topic, news of the day, day of the week and Jupiter aligning with Mars...and whether an email alert is sent to my list of pals at random on any given day.

It's fascinating to watch and often astounding to see which blogs are viewed most. If any of you out there are looking to learn more about how to use the Internet, drop me a note and I'll be glad to share what I've learned.

JUST GOOGLE: Somali Pirate Cruise - The Birk Plan - Blondes and String Theory - Zillions, Trillions, Billions, Millions - you'll be surprised, as I am at how often and where the blog appears.

So the 30,000 views is a bit deceiving, as most numbers are (especially if you do Obamath) because my blogs have also been reproduced in whole or in part on thousands of other sites from New Zealand to England to Saudi Arabia and only God knows where!

If you are new to the blog, please visit my blog of AUGUST 29, 2009 for a list of the Birk's Best Blogs (at least in my opinion) - pop around and have some fun, raise your blood pressure or use a barf bag.

As Elmer Fudd might say, "Thanks for dropping by my itsy-bitsy, teeney weeny nano-spec on the world wide web, weally!"

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: The Internet is the marketplace of ideas...it's kind of like a Farmer's Market...just be careful you don't buy into a lot of crop.

Oh yeah, and the most asked question is: "Birk, who's the guy with you in the photo wearing in the red balloonist's jacket?"

You Asked For It! The Birk List Of Birk Blogs To Read Before President Obama Turns Off The Internet. Oh, That Can't Happe

Dear Pals,

I had quite a few folks write me and say, "Keep on blogging."

I may be back someday...but for now, I'm sticking to my plan to focus on my special project, because there I think it can do some real good for regular folks.

If you missed The New York Times front page article - either Thurs 08.27 or Friday 08.28 - about the City Of Cedar Rapids and their devastating flood, please read it.

http://www.nytimes.com/pages/todayspaper/index.html#Front%20Page

However, in answer to a new-to-the-blog Pal's question:

 "I'm new to the blog and was just turned on to it by a friend, what blogs from the past are 'must reads' ?"

Here are my picks...they are NOT necessarily the ones that got the most hits or responses.

THE BIRK LIST: The Essentials

September 18, 2008 - The Birk Plan: Zillion, Trillion, Billion, Million...what's a few zeros among friends?

October 26, 2008 - Heresy? Genius? Nonsense? Folly?

October 27, 2008 - A Word From Sir Winston Churchill

October 29, 2008 - The Missouri Compromise

November 22, 2008 - TV Heroes Of My Misspent Youth

December 26, 2008 - Baby It's Warm Inside

January 12, 2009 - Fearless Forecast

January 21, 2009 - Why are "moderate" Muslims mute

January 26, 2009 - ESP Tells Me We're Headed To The Cassandra Crossing

January 27, 2008 - Immediately Release All Gitmo Prisoners

February 23, 2009 - How To Wipe Out The Deficit

March 25, 2009 - Big Trouble In Little China?

April 24, 2009 - Circus Maximus

May 22, 2009 - The Birk Recipe For Resurrection

July 30, 2009 - WHealthcare An Alternative

August 25, 2009 - Give President Obama High Marx

And just for FUN!!!

Or, should I say, "MIschief and Mayhem?"

June 15, 2009 - Blondes And String Theory

Of course, don't miss my very first blog: A Lesson In Irish Economics

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: This non-blog-blog would not be complete without a PS. So, here it is.

PS: Please visit www.capstonepyramid.com and take a deep refreshing dive there!

Goodbye "Mr. Cadillac." George Maty, The Grand Gentleman Of Lindburg Cadillac And Plaza Motors Will Be Missed.

Dear Pals,

My longtime friend and former client George Maty died this week. His wake was last evening and his funeral mass is this morning. He was a real gentleman, a staunch Roman Catholic, a star-spangled Navy veteran and a man of abiding personal integrity and upright character. 

He loved his customers and his craft, which was "personal service selling."  He was the consummate gentleman, a real Cadillac man.

Although he was born in very midwesten Belleville, Illinois, Mr. Maty had the bearing, poise and style of a well-bred gentleman, and one might even say, aristocrat. Yet, he was not a snob. He was just very refined and polished. Gentlemanly, in the old world sense of the word.

I met Mr. Maty when he was the Vice President and Sales Manager of the old Lindburg Cadillac Company located at Jefferson and Market in downtown St. Louis. Lindburg was St. Louis' premier Cadillac dealer - it even had a mint-condition 1903 Cadillac in the corner of its jewel box, state-of-the-art showroom.

I wrote hundreds of ads for Lindburg in those days and they all appeared in the Lindburg Cadillac "franchise position" in the lower corner of the front page of the Sports Section of the late St. Louis Globe Democrat.

I can still see them there along with the news about the Baseball and Football Cardinals, The Hawks and later the new Blues hockey team. The Lindburg ads were 2 columns by 105 lines in size and we had a new ad almost every day, if not for the Cadillac dealership, they were created for Lindburg's "kissin' cousin" company, Executive Leasing ( which is now known as Enterprise Rent-A-Car).

After a few months of working with Mr. Maty, he said, "Please call me George." I knew I had now earned my stripes. And, we were friends ever since.

George ran Lindburg Cadillac for another real nice fellow named, Earl Lindburg and they had quite a colorful cast of characters too...Jay Reeg, Chester O'Brien, John Burns, Bob Mohan, George Piskulic, Howard Kalina and of course the irrepressible "Gundy" - aka Bob Gundlefinger.

I loved working with George and all the "car guys" at Lindburg. 

Together they sold a ton of Vogue Tyres and new and pre-owned Cadillacs; including Lindburg's own custom built Chateau de Ville with its distinctive padded vinyl top and iconic landau bars. What a chariot that was!

Lindburg's famous Annual Countdown Sale came every year at model year end and it was a much anticipated event. George loved transforming the showroom's windows in to huge graphic posters that featured numbers that changed every day as he counted down the number of remaining Cadillacs.

In all my dealings with George, I found him to be very proper, professional and quite business like. I used to sit in his office and listen to him on the phone dutifully serving the needs of Lindburg's wealthy clientele. George's demeanor was always focused on doing the right thing for the customer and the dealership.

When the Lindburg family sold the dealership to Plaza Motors, George Maty moved to "John Capps' luxury car center of the universe" and most of his Cadillac crew made the star trek west with him.

At one point in my life when I was struggling with some serious personal issues after a divorce, he took me to a quiet mano-y-mano lunch and gave me some excellent counselling and fatherly advice. It helped a lot and he was right. I was forever grateful to him for his personal expression of understanding, compassion and kindness.

Thank you George!

When I saw his obituary, a flood of fond memories came back to me. I will miss George. He was a man of integrity and faith and a friend to many, many people, high and low...and in between.

Godspeed Mr. Cadillac!

Birk, Commonsenstarian and Citizen of the Republic

The Magic Whiskey Bottle...A Story Of Fun, Faith, Friendship And An Unspoken Understanding.

Dear Pals,

I had the occasion yesterday to drive through the rolling hills of eastern Missouri on my way home from a meeting in Columbia. On the way back, I came near the town of Marthasville, where an old Pal of mine had moved after he retired at about age 47.

My friend's name was Don.

He was the executive vice president of an international commodity trading company and its chief research officer. His was a very high-stress job as millions of dollars in contracts on sugar, corn, soybeans and pork bellies were bought and sold based on his technical research reccomendations.

By his late forties, he had decided to retire to the country and walk away from all the stress and responsibility that he took very much to heart. He was one of the most ethical and honest men I have ever had the privilege of knowing.

Don and his wife Dee purchased a farm from an old German farmer named Virgil Landwehr. Virgil was in his 70's and had been born in the old two-story farmhouse on the land.

Don and Dee loved that farm and lovingly updated the old farmhouse and filled it with handsome 18th and 19th Century American antiques that Don had collected over the years. It really was like stepping back in time when you went inside.

After Don and Dee moved in, Don continued to have Virgil run a few head of cattle on the place. And, every day, Virgil would drop by and look in on the "herd." Don observed that part of Virgil's ritual was a short daily visit to the barn.

Virgil would park his pick-em-up truck, pop into the barn and then emerge in about a minute. At first, Don thought nothing of it...but one day curiousity got the best of him. What the heck was Virgil doing in the barn for such a short time everyday??

After Virgil and Don had their morning coffee and Virgil departed, Don went down to the barn.

He walked in and noticed Virgil's well worn trail in the dirt floor. His dewy-steps from earlier that morning had not yet evaporated...and they led to and from a corner of the barn.

Don traced the steps to the corner and there, behind a joist he found a pint bottle of Hill & Hill bourbon. The bottle was a little over 1/2 full. Now Don knew Virgil's little secret. Virgil was not supposed to be drinking because of his health and if his wife ever found out...well, let's just say that would not be a good thing for old Virgil.

Don was by nature kind of a mischievious elf who enjoyed a good joke or harmless prank on his pals, so he decided to keep the old farmer's secret and have a little fun with Virgil. After that, Don kept track of how much Hill & Hill was in the bottle and whenever it got below that 1/2 full level, Don would refill it back to the 1/2 level with more Hill & Hill.

He waited patiently for Virgil to say something to him.

Days passed.

Weeks passed.

Months passed.

Years passed.

Virgil never said a word.

While all that time, Don continued to maintain the Hill & Hill bottle at its 1/2 filled height.

Don laughed whenever he told the story. But neither he nor Virgil ever let on or acknowledged anything about the hidden bottle of Hill & Hill that never ran dry and magically refilled itself.

Was it magic?

Was it a miracle?

Whatever it was, Virgil quietly and presumeably gratefully accepted it on faith.

Virgil and Don continued their friendship for many years as Virgil always "ran a few cattle" out on the place and they shared their daily conversations over a cup of Dee's freshmade coffee. They talked about rain, grass, cattle, grain prices, town doin's, life in general and every topic under the sun, save one.

Both Virgil and Don are gone now.

Don died last year, far too young. When I found out, I called and spoke with his widow Dee and she told me she was doing just fine down on their little spot of paradise that she and Don had created overlooking the Missouri River.

They made it a magical place in so many ways for their many friends and family. I couldn't help wondering if The Magic Whiskey Bottle was still out in the barn.

Or, maybe Don polished it off in a farewell toast to his old pal, Virgil.

Or maybe he left it there for the spirit of Virgil or for someone else to discover...

I can see Don doing that too.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: Sometimes it's what folks don't say that speaks volumes about them.