The Wise Buddha-hahahaha

Chocolate! Chocolate! Dark Chocolate! Chocolate Is A Food Group! And How A New Chocolate Legend Is Born In St. Louis! Mandy's Cranberry Almond Dark Chocolate...OMG!!

CHOCOLATE FIGHTS CANCER!!

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/breast-cancer/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=100245475&imageindex=2

I don't make this stuff up!

More great news below!!

Dear Pals,

A long time ago, I helped my Pal Maynard K. aka "Buddy" by creating marketing materials for Karl Bissinger Chocolatiers, a legendary company he bought back in the late 1970's. Bissingers had been making chocolates since the 17th century and according to family legend and lore, they sold their treats to Napoleon and Josephine, Kings, Kaisers and nobles throughout Europe. Today they sell worldwide out of St. Louis via the Internet.

The Bissinger family left Europe for America in 1845 made their way first to Cincinnati and then in 1927, Karl Bissinger opened his own store on McPherson Avenue in St. Louis' tony CWE (Central West End).

1927, as history buffs will recall was the year Lucky Lindy "The Lone Eagle of the USA" was flying high in The Spirit of St. Louis - his Ryan airplane was bought for him by a few St. Louis "aviation nuts." The deal went down in my favorite old haunt, The Racquet Club on north Kingshighway.

But that's another story for another day.

HERE'S THE GREAT NEWS!!

Last night I went to a very nice wine tasting at Schnucks Clayton and Lindbergh store. The wine department there stands in no one's shadow. My cousin Dave, aka "The Wine Guy" is a sommelier and he is the go-to-guy in St. Louis for wine.

Well, aside from discovering an Old Vine Zin that was out of this world, I also discovered what I believe is a NEW CHOCOLATE LEGEND.

I saw an attractive young lady feverishly, but artfully setting up a display of handmade chocolate candies.

Like the Chocolate robot that I am, I was drawn to this amazing display of chocolates in clear bags festooned with hand-tied gold ribbons. I intruded into the lady's space with my usual aplomb and shy sophistication and graciously asked, "What are you doing?"

She introduced herself as Mandy and told me that she was setting up her holiday display. Never missing a stroke in the ballet of her rhythmic stocking, she told me that she was the owner of Mandy's Candies and that she had a tiny handmade candy factory off Manchester in downtown Maplewood.

I asked her if she knew my Pal Linda who runs Something Elegant, St. Louis' finest haute cuisine catering company that is also located in that neck of the woods. Mandy didn't know her...so I offered to hook up these two entrepreneurial ladies.

Then I instinctively picked up a bag containing a giant dark Chocolate Cranberry Almond bar...Mandy said, "That's a good choice."

My purple gums must have visually-cued her to my weakness for wine, because she then added, "It goes really well with a glass of red wine."

I was hooked.

Reel me in.

Mount me on the wall over the mantle.

What is better than a great red wine and handmade dark Chocolate with cranberry and almonds?  Even great sex is a distant second...unless it's skillfully executed in conjuction with fine wine, dark chocolate and Sinatra, Barry White or Keb 'Mo.

At that level, people have been known to feel the earth move.

Well suffice it to say, the dark Chocolate Cranberry Almond bar I purchased from Mandy's Candies last night is HISTORY! And I predict that Mandys' Candies will make history! A new St. Louis Chocolate Legend is born!

It was sooooooooooooooooo good that I'm emailing my partner Arlene today to tell her to get Mandy's Candies ( if she hasn't already) to sell in the gift baskets and in the shop at the award-winning wine experience restaurant that she and her husband Stanley created...you might have heard of it. It's in downtown Webster Groves and it's called ROBUST. (www.robustwines.com)

If you love handmade dark chocolates and don't mind typing in a very long url...go to Mandy's Candies.

Simply type in...

w w w . m a n d y s h o m e m a d e c a n d i e s . c o m

Phew! I'm worn out. Here use this link: www.mandyshomemadecandies.com

I love female entrepreneuers and have had the pleasure of helping more than a few grow their businessess.

Give Mandy's Candies, Something Elegant and ROBUST a shot...you won't be disappoined.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of The Republic. A Mob of One.

SPECIAL HEADS UP: To my Cal Gal Pal, Suzanne...Mandy's Candies...Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Share them with Dave and your other flying buds!!

FEDERAL INTERNET POLICE NOTICE: This is a purely spontaneous reference to entrepreneurial businesses. I have not recieved any remuneration for these priceless blog mentions from the companies mentioned herein. I did it for 2 reasons: I have a soft spot in my heart for entrepreneurial ladies and, I did it out of love for wine, women and song...and DARK CHOCOLATE!

Fight Breast Cancer Eat More Dark Chocolate

PS: When I visited Mandy's website, I was also delighted to find out that Mandy supports BJC's Siteman Cancer Center that has been so instumental in saving my own wife's life.

How To Stop The Killing In God's Name. Create A New Religion For The Whole World. Something We Can All Agree Upon. Here's The Birk Religious Belief Conflict Reconciliation Plan. Why It's As Easy as 1-2-3-4!

Dear Pals,

I was wondering if we human beings would ever be able to reconcile the deeply embedded and often conflictive beliefs of the world's competing religions?

After all, the world is full of conflicting beliefs, dogmas and traditions that were created over long periods of time very often in isolated parts of the world.

I was thinking about the daily conflicts that these "old time" religious indoctrinations are causing today, not the least of which were the murders of 13 Americans and the wounding of 42 others at Ft. Hood by a devoutly religious U.S. Army Major of the Moslem persuasion.

There is an old saying that, "More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason."

How do you stop the killing in God's name? Well, here's an out-of-the-box idea for you to chew on.

Many religious beliefs have been held for centuries and religious doctrines have been deeply and emotionally embedded in people beginning shortly after birth.

In all fairness, the beliefs of some religions and the concept of "sin" has also evolved or devolved (depending on your point-of-view) over time.

Still other religions have not changed at all. Apparently, those "religions" got it right, right from the start.

For example, I was born a Catholic. When I was a boy, eating meat on Friday was a sin...I can't recall if it was a mortal or venial sin...but, I'm sure it was a pretty serious sin, but not as bad as LUST, which was my personal favorite.

Today, I wonder if I'm going to Hell for eating meat on Friday, missing Mass on Sunday and Holy Days, for chasing skirts with lusty glee in my mis-spent youth or for being divorced and excommunicated?

Then when I get to Hell, I wonder if I'll share a red-hot shovel shift with Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Jack the Ripper, or if I'll be in the perfumed and air-conditioned part of Hell with Gypsy Rose Lee, Marylin Monroe, Mae and Evelyn West, Madame Pomadour and Casanova, George Carlin, Lewis Black, Capt. Ron and Jack Ortbal.

Thinking about all this religion-inspired Hellishness set my mind all awhirl in a cachphony of theological and philosophical dissonance.

Then I had a blinding flash of inspiration!

SHAZAAM! SHAMWOW!

Science has evolved.

Technology has evolved.

Medicine has evolved.

Transportation has evolved.

Mankind's knowledge has evolved in so many ways.

Even Birk has evolved. In a an uncharacteristic fit of self-aggrandizement, I titled my blog photo: The Evolution Of Man Is Complete. (I'm the evolved one on the right).

Is that a banana in my pocket? Or am I just glad to see you? (Actually, it's a 1/2 roll of TUMS)

Look Amigos...the superstitions of eons of lost past millenia and The Dark Ages are in our rearview mirror in virtually every category and area of human endeavor...except religion.

Things that man once accepted as facts and immutable natural laws from religious authorites speaking for God, have been disproved as mankind's intellectual capability, scientific knowledge and the liberty and freedom to think for oneself has advanced.

For example, we don't believe that the Sun revolves around the earth any more.

We don't believe that the earth is flat any more.

We don't believe that man cannot fly.

We don't believe that witches cause plague.

We don't believe that women need to be isolated in the "red tent."

We don't believe that leeches and bleeding makes people better.

We know about atoms, muons, photons, leptons and quarks.

Man has been to the Moon and back.

We have indoor plumbing, heat and air conditioning.

We can make steam power flow through pipes.

We know how to transplant hearts, kidneys and lungs.

We can perform pre-natal surgery in the womb.

We can clone sheep.

We can even make a McRib!

It begs the question.

Why haven't the world's religions evolved??

Especially in the Age of the Internet when we are so interconected and have instant access to so much information and knowledge.

Why should religious beliefs remain stuck in ancient paradigms???

Why do people today persist in believing religious dogmas that simply defy the laws of science and common sense and the principles of basic human decency?

So I thought, "Why not revist all of the religious assumptions, traditions and dogmas of Islam, Mayan, Aztec, Olmec, Judaism, Sumerian, Catholic, Lutheran, Episcoplaian, Baptist, Methodist, Buddhism, Shintoism, Zoroastrianism, Hinduism, Unitarian, Dogon, Zulu and Taoist??"

Let's see which religious dogmas stand up to the bright light of intellectual scrutiny from the perspectives of TRUTH, LIFE, SCIENCE, COMMON SENSE and HUMAN ETHICS."

Let's put all religious ideas to the test.

STEP ONE: Let's put all the core religious ideas up on the Internet and have 100 people from each country, selected at random, vote on them.  IN or OUT

HERE'S JUST A FEW SAMPLES:

1. Sacrifice a human being and offer his still beating heart to God to make it rain. IN or OUT

2. Thou shalt not steal. IN or OUT

3. Honor thy Father and Mother. IN or OUT

4. Honor Kill family members who disavow your religion's rules and customs. IN or OUT

5. Same sex marriage. IN or OUT

6. Inter-species marriage. IN or OUT

7. Perform female circumsicions. IN or OUT

8. Keep women from driving, voting and going to school. IN or OUT

9. Killing people of different religions who refuse to join yours. IN or OUT

10. Rape. IN or OUT

11. Drinking Alcohol. IN or OUT

12. Using heroin, cocaine, LSD, crystal meth, et cetera. IN or OUT

13. Mandatory Church on Sunday. IN or OUT

14. Mandatory Church on Saturday. IN or OUT

15. Mandatory Church on Friday. IN or OUT

16. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife. IN or OUT

17. Thou shalt not commit adultery. IN or OUT

18. Eating pork (McRib). IN or OUT

19. Beheadings and Amputations as penalties for bad behavior. IN or OUT

20. Simultaneously Marry Multiple Wives. IN or OUT

21. Simultaneously Marry Multiple Husbands. IN or OUT

22. Love Thy Neighbor IN or OUT

23. Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness IN or OUT

25. Eat Beef. IN or OUT

26. Fly through the air. IN or OUT

27. Irish in charge. IN or OUT

28. Euthanasia at 85. IN or OUT

29. Circumsize boys. IN or OUT

30. Arrange your daughter's marriage to a stranger. IN or OUT

31. Hide the female body in a head-to-toe sack? IN or OUT

32. Enjoy Rodin's Hand of God sculpture. IN or OUT

33. Hell. IN or Out

34. Nirvana. IN or Out

35. Women's rights. IN or OUT

36. Dancing. IN or OUT

37. Snake handling. IN or OUT

38. Going on a walkabout. IN or OUT

39. Abortion. IN or OUT

40. Tithing. IN or OUT

ESSAY QUESTION: Is man a part of God or apart from God?

You see how this global human intake process can work!

STEP TWO: We make a comprehensive list of all the core beliefs of every major religion - past and present - and then have the randomly-selected 100 people from each country in the world vote on which beliefs are IN and which are OUT.

This would get representative input from all the peoples of the Earth. A big representative intake session. Very inclusive, culturally diverse and quite open.

STEP THREE: I would personally take the intake results up to my brother-in-law's very cool log cabin in the northwoods of Michigan. I prefer this cool woodsy location to the barren, scorching blazing-ass hot desert near Las Vegas. Deserts have been known to bake turds as hard as rocks.

There in total meditative seclusion, I would ask the One True God to tell me which things stay IN and which are OUT.

As soon as the One True God gives me the edited and approved IN or OUT list...I'll bring it back and share it with the rest of the world. There is a precedent for this kind of direct revelation in the Judeo, Christian and Islamic traditions.

Then, The New Really Cool Religious Rules For You publishing company will provide a copy to everyone on Earth for just $1.00 and then everyone can follow these updated religious rules.

I'll only keep 10%. The rest I will donate to The Limbaugh Institute For Advanced Conservative Studies. (Just kidding.) I'll give the rest of the dough-re-mi to the world's 50 top Medical Schools.

Religious belief conflict problems solved.

STEP FOUR: I will retire to Bermuda to begin my new career as a bikini-fitter and sun tan lotion applier.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic, a Mob Of One

PS: Do I believe in God? You bet, the evidence of God's creativity is all around, above, below and throughout everything. The wonders of God's universe and nature play out before us everyday. But, my "Creator of all things seen and unseen" might be different than your personal vision of God.

If it is true that God created man in his own image and likeness, we all must have God-DNA. And if we all have God-DNA then the nature of God must be innately in all of us. We must be God-wired in the double helix of our own DNA.

So why do we need some "outside self-proclaimed God expert" to tell us what God's will for us is.

Well, could it be because there is a lot of profit in the religious prophet business?

Hmmmm...

All kidding aside, if you really want to get an insight into my personal  All Is ONE - God-in-Man beliefs and supporting data visit www.capstonepyramid.com 

It's kind of a Gnostic view that God-Is-Within-Man.

You don't have to look out for or look up to find God...all you have to do is look within.

The Greeks called this en theos or God within - the word enthusiasm came from that expression. People who were turned on by creativity, innovation, learning and had a real love for life were said to "have God within."

Are you an enthusiast?

What are you enthusiastic about?

Do you believe in God?

And, does God believe in you?

THREE FINAL PERPLEXING QUESTIONS:

1) Before Charleton Heston was given The 10 Commandments by the One True God, after the Jews fled the oppression of Yul,The Great Pharoah of Egypt...what had been God's rules of conduct for mankind for the previous 5000 to 10,000 to 250,000 years?

We're we all just ad-libbing our way through every day?

2) And, how come God waited so long to give Moses just 10 simple commandments to live by?

3) Why was God so darn brief??

Maybe The 10 Commandments were just the OUTLINE that would have to be constantly conditionally-clarified by lawyers, courts, kings, emporers, prophets, religious clerics and Democrat politicians over the ensuing centuries??

I wonder about things like this...do you?

BONUS QUESTIONS:

Should stew be served in a bowl or on a plate?

Should toilet paper be A) pulled over the top of the roll or B) pulled down from behind the roll?

Mike P. needs to know these answers. Especially about the stew serving issue: bowl vs. plate.

 

 

Why Is Life So Weird? Or Is It Just Me? Pass The Chartreuse And Let The "Truth Serum" Flow!

Dear Pals,

First of all, Happy 234th. Anniversary to the U.S.M.C.!

Semper Fi!

____________________________

Does the world today seem completely upside down and/or off track to you?

Or is it just me? Maybe I'm just out of sync with the new reality. 

It seems like everyday I'm astounded by some new development in this "Giddy-up-Whoa!" world.

It's like the lyrics from the old songs, "First you say you do and then you don't. Then you say you will and then you won't," or "You say TOMato and I say toMAHto...let's call the whole thing off."

Am I the weird one?

Or, the wired one?

Could my life be just one big cosmic typo?

Did I step unawares through a time portal into a bizarre parallel universe?

Maybe World War Z isn't a novel after all.

Maybe Max Brooks is really onto something in his Oral History Of The Zombie War. 

Or, maybe it's just an odd feeling that Lady Sychronicity has pulled me down a bewildering rabbit hole and I've tumbled out into a Brave New American World where up is down, in is out and the inmates really are running the asylum.

Before I join the "American Boat People" who are rowing to Cuba for safety and escape from the walking dead...please feel free to weigh in on this topic.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic and a Mob of One

PS:  I think I hear the "High Lonesome" of the Wasatch calling me.

I'm beginning to understand the attraction of silence and solitude and why the Mountain Men of yore preferred the clean crisp air of the high Sierras to the confusing and confused company of citified men and women in flatland society.

As much as I love the romantic notion of following James Taylor's suggestion to "Slap leather and head for the line of trees," I'm not the Marlboro Man and I'd probably be The Big Birk on the McGrizzley menu by dark.

So is there another option to enduring the Le Monde Circque de Jour?

Hmmm...maybe I'll shave my head and join the Carthusian Monks near Grenoble and devote my remaining days to making Chartreuse and sampling it. Even I can gather and distill mountain herbs!

Chartreuse is truly something very special...especially the green variety. With a glass or two, I could take a mind-freeing trip to the outer fringes of the galaxy without ever leaving my cell in the monastery.

After all, if you're not free in your mind...where indeed are you free?

Now there's a question worth pondering.

Was The Ft. Hood "Alleged" Shooter Just A Quiet, Studious, Sensitive, Intelligent "Persecuted Victim" Trying To Get Along In The Evil Country Where He Was Born? Or Was He A Member Of "The Muslim Mafia" aka The Moslem Brotherhood?

Dear Pals,

If you do NOTHING else today go out and get the book The Muslim Mafia by Paul Sperry and P. Dave Gaubatz and learn about CAIR, the Council On American Islamic Relations and its NGOs (non-governmental organizations) that are front groups used to funnel millions of dollars from our little pals in Saudia Arabia right into the hands of terrorists inside the USA.

This isn't Islamaphobia...it's true and they can back it up.

Every American needs to get the facts: www.muslimmafia.com

When you discover who the authors of The Muslim Mafia are - you will be impressed by them, their credentials, top security clearances, service to our Nation and most of all by their personal courage!

You won't hear about this in the Lamestream media because it is politically incorrect.

The Muslim Mafia documents, in excruciating detail, the work of Special Ops Investigators, who infiltrated the ranks of CAIR and then collected extensive documentation on its plans to Islamisize America through a myriad of front groups and sleeper organizations.

As the author said in a recent radio interview, "The alarming CAIR revelations look like ACORN on steroids...but, with far direr consequences."

Read the Oath of the Muslim Brotherhood on the book's jacket and you'll understand the scope and scale to the threat posed by The Muslim Brotherhood to our Nation, our freedoms and our Judeo-Christian heritage.

Get the facts...think for yourself.

Then tell all your friends so they too can get educated on The Moslem Brotherhood's plans for you and me and all Americans.

I'm recommending this book without any compensation or remuneration whatsoever - just in case anyone in the White House office of Politically Correct Speech and Thinking was wondering about that.

___________________________

Now here's some spin on this "alleged" murderer from msnbc.

Get a barf bag before you read this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33737596/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/?gt1=43001

What a sweet guy...he gave away broccolli and copies of the Quran/Koran before he went off and tried to kill 42 innocent people who were his own countrymen and fellow soldiers.

What's wrong with this picture? How stupid do they think we are?

Can you believe the headline and the appologist tripe and drivel that is being spun here??

"He gave away broccolli..."

Under a prior administration, that may have qualified as hate speech because former President George H.W. Bush hates broccolli

Here's the headline and subhead that should have been written.

U.S. born Moslem Army Major Murders 13. He reportedly fired over 100 rounds because was trying to kill 42...and he would have, if he had not been stopped by a brave civilian police officer, who happened to be a female, with real guts and firepower.

_____________________________

WHY, oh why oh why did he do it? 

Come let us gather in a media circle and wring our "politically-correct-blame-America" hands.

"Alledgely" this native born U.S. citizen, physician (healer) was theologically-opposed to being sent overseas to participate in America's war in Afghanistan because that would mean he was helping to kill his fellow Moslems.

So the logical conclusion in his Moslem-belief system mind was to kill as many of his fellow American soldiers as possible. It all makes perfect sense from his self-concept and from The Moslem Brotherhood's worldview.

The next thing you know, he'll be being praised for "following his conscience" and not simply "following orders" like the Nazi doctors did in WWII.

Trust me, that analogy will be forthcoming.

Just watch and mark my words, Major Hasan will be painted as an altrusitic innocent and devout Moslem locked in an intractable moral and religious conflict with his own beloved homeland, the U.S.A., a.k.a. "The Great Satan."

As for his actions in killing 13 people and attempting to kill a total of 42...why, it was the only thing he could do? Going AWOL, desertion, getting a Section 8 or resignation of his commission on conscientious-objector grounds were not viable options for him.

Oh me! Oh my! Alas, alack and forsooth...can you imagine the anguish of this poor devout Moslem?

LOOK AMIGOS:

This guy is not an "isolated crazy."

He isn't some mentally-ill person who "just snapped"

He is not crazy at all.

He is a fully-indoctrinated lifelong devout Moslem...he's a true believer.

He is just like the well-educated and seemingly normal Moslem physicians in England, who lived and worked there for years and then one day got up and drove explosive-laden SUVs into a Scottish Airport.

He is just like the 911 terrorists, who were well-educated young Moslem men with advanced college degrees. He is just like the London bus bombers and the Madrid train bombers and the bombers who blew the PanAm plane up over Lockerbie.

And, yes dear friends, he is just like the murdering Moslems who killed the Israeli Olympic athletes in Munich and the other cowardly hooded-murderers who beheaded a Wall Street Journal reporter, tortured and mutilated captured US servicemen and even, in a moment of masked-Moslem bravado,threatened a defenseless captured American woman for the pleasure of Al-Jeezeerah's viewers.

If Major Hasan wasn't a card-carrying member in good standing of The Moslem Brotherhood, he certainly appears to have been a "mind-carrying member" of the principles that are so clearly stated in the Oath Of The Moslem Brotherhood.

His "religion" means "surrender to god" - parenthetically, that means - surrender to the Moslem version and vision of god or else you infidels will be put to the sword!

BUT AREN'T MILLIONS OF MOSLEMS GOOD PEOPLE? 

Aren't many Moslems currently honorably serving in the U.S. Military?

Those are excellent questions.

Can you answer them with certainty?

Without any reservations?

How many "Major Hasans" are there?

How about this little tidbit from the author of The Moslem Mafia?

Did you know that 11 out of 14 current Muslim Chaplins in the US Army were trained at the CAIR-funded school outside of Washington, D.C?

A school that teaches how to Islamisize America.

Hmmm...probably just a coincidence.

Right...

________________________________

TIME FOR MORE "MOSLEM VICTIM" SPIN!

The Major's own nephew and family MEDIA spokesman has been all over the Tube saying his uncle was a "good American."

But...here come's the BUT, the very big guilt-shifting politically correct BUT.

But, he was "harrassed just for being a devout Moslem."

To that I say: Bravo Sierra!

It looks more like this "alleged" murderer unashamedly used the U.S. Military system to suit his own personal ends.

And, I'll bet you a delicious, mouth-watering savory-roasted bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin from an "unclean swine" that Major Hasan's actions at Ft. Hood were just the culmination of a long and calculated process of his own personal brand of Moslem Brotherhood-style infiltration.

It is not uncommon for Moslems to move into a nation or community and Iive peacefully among the native infidels until they are strong enough to strike. It is their history and it also a well-documented tactic of The Muslim Brotherhood.

It is classic 5th Column work.

Think I'm kidding?

Ask the French, Germans, Dutch, Danes and English about how well Moslem infiltration works. Google: death of Van Gogh's descendant. Or, Google: Moslem death threats on Danish cartoonists...or call Salmon Rushdie.

Moslems actually use the religious tolerance of free Judeo-Christian nations against the host nation's culture and its educational, political and legal institutions.

To be a true Moslem means it's their way or the die way.

Read the Oath Of The Muslim Brotherhood.

The Islamization of Europe is almost fait accompli.

Charles Martel must be rolling in his grave.

If you want to learn about infiltration, intimidation, harrassment and persecution...read Moslem history. They are past masters of the art of infiltration, intimidation, harrassment and persecution of Jews, Christians, Hindus, Lebanese Christians and anyone else who doesn't "surrender."

Moslem history is one story of blood-soaked conquest and one ruthless murderous event after another. Read what happened to the 10,000 men of Medina when they laid down their arms and "surrendered to god."

Read Moslem history.

Get the facts!

AND then explain to me how anyone can be a good, peace-loving, freedom-loving, well-educated tolerant civilized person in the 21st Century and still subscribe to the beliefs of a"religion" that teaches that killing non-believers/infidels is okay with their god and that their god says it's okay to commit honor killings of girls and to treats women like chattel.

Do the women of the world like being perpetual second class citizens, unschooled and kept from having full and expressive lives?

Moslems even have their own complete constitution and legal system called Shariah Law. Trust me pals, it isn't based on The Magna Carta or The U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights either. Devout Moslems believe it supercedes ALL OTHER LAWS.

I think it's high time to fully engage all Moslems in a serious discussion of theological ideas, principles, logic, ethical morality and plain old common sense.

Let's have no more namby-pamby political correctness...it's time to confront and challenge the validity of their core beliefs head-on with rock solid arguments.

Make it into a TV series and air it on National GEO or the History Channel. Broadcast it 24-7-365 into the Moslem world. Put it on the Internet in streaming video for all to see.

Make it like Radio Free Europe and the Voice Of America...call it:

THE VOICE OF SANITY: THE ULTIMATE BATTLE FOR THE SOUL OF HUMANITY AND CIVILIZATION!

It's the Torah, New Testament and Holy Bible vs The Koran/Quran and the supporting Moslem texts.

It's Judeo-Christianity's Almighty God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit vs Islam's Allah and the Prophet Mohammed and The Moslem Brotherhood.

It's "Love thy neighbor" vs. "Slay thy neighbor."

Let's shine the BRIGHT LIGHT of human knowledge and truth into the darkness.

Let's focus forceful debate and solid rational counterpoints on the teachings of the Koran/Quran and the other supporting Moslem texts.

Let's see how the Moslem worldview and the Judeo-Christian worldview compare.

I'd also include the Hindus and the followers of Buddha and the Tao in the process to fairly represent all the leading schools of religious, ethical and moral thought.

Let's see how Islam stands up to Truth and Logic and Reason and Love.

Personally, as a subscriber to the Judeo-Christian tradition, I'm putting my money on the Holy One of Isreal, the God of Abraham, Solomon and David and on Christianity's Holy Trinity.

Put me down on the side of LOVE THE LORD THY GOD with thy whole heart and soul and LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF.

Because on these two commandments, "hang all the laws and the prophets."

We cannot be cowed to silence by political correctness any longer. It's way past time for Judeo-Christian Americans to stand up for our one nation under God with liberty and justice for all. 

But, I have to admit that these days, it's really hard to forgive seventy-times seven and to turn the other cheek.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citzen Of The Republic, A Mob Of One

PS: In the meantime, let's hope to be spared any more sappy broccoli-coated media stories on this "alleged" killer.

Say, I wonder if Osama bin Laden and the Iranian Muslim leader, Amabinijhad like broccolli too?

Personally, I'm swearing off broccolli until further information on its potential harmful side effects come in from the food police at the FDA. 

Broccolli...who knows, it may be one dangerous mind-altering murder-causing veggie.

What are the writers at msnbc smoking???

Pass the hashhish hookah willya?

 Ahhh...this is good shit, man.

Where'dya get it dude, California, Colorado or msnbc?

Is President Obama The Master Of Political Stagecraft? And The Greatest Writer Since Julius Caesar? It's All Theater You Know...Shakespeare Had That Right!

Dear Pals,

Whenever I get my "tingly-feeling" things don't add up.

Like right now. Tell me if I'm wrong.

Am I mis-reading the tea leaves or just becoming a complete cynic?

I can handle the truth. It's the fiction that that troubles me.

The Commander In Chief - President Barack H. Obama and his image-making minions (Emmanuel, Axholerod and Gibbs) know how to use images to shape and influence public opinion. Something I know a little bit about as well.

Last week there were 2 striking - never-before-seen Obama images that are all over the TUBE.

Image One was him speaking in front of a sea of white-uniformed USN personnel at Pensacola. Where he promised never to send troops into harm's way without careful deliberation and, if he did send them, he would support them to the hilt.

Image Two was him saluting the honored dead coming home from Afghanistan as the caskets of fallen heroes were returned to US soil at Dover, Delaware.

It was an impressive image. The President of the United States standing straight and erect and holding a sharp and crisp military salute as the flag-draped caskets passed by.

My initial reaction was good, but then I got that eerie intuitive tingly-feeling that things didn't add up.

For some reason out of the blue, the Beatle's lyrics to Lovely Rita wafted through my alleged mind:

"In a cap she looked much older,
And the bag across her shoulder
Made her look a little like a military man." 

The tingly-feeling turned to a chill...I hoped it wasn't a chill of the cynical-paranoid variety.

Then my left-brain kicked in and said, "Look, President Obama is one cool and calculating cat, he plans every move, orchestrates every image, weighs every word, knows how and when to flash a winning smile and when to use self-deprecating humor."

Hmmm...so why was he first at Pensacola and then in rapid succession at Dover?  Everyone knew he was going to Pensacola, but his visit to Dover was an unannounced "surprise."

Thank God the cameras were there to catch the moment.

It all looks too stagecrafted to me.

But to what end? 

Potential Answer One: He was there with the purist of intentions and noblest of motives to reassure, inspire, support and honor our military and the honored dead who have fallen in the service of the Nation.

I truly hope that this is what his personal appearances were all about.

Potential Answer Two: It was just unadulterated calculated stagecraft. Obama, "The Man of Peace" (ratified by his recent Nobel Peace Price award) thoughtfully weighing the human cost of war (which he inherited from bungling President George Bush) before he (the reluctant warrior) makes a crucial decision to send troops in to harm's way (to approve or deny or modify his hand-picked General McChrystal's request for 40,000 addtional troops).

Potential Answer Three: Set up his ability to accept the Nobel Peace Prize while US Troops and UN/Nato Troops are still fighting.

Hmmm...

This all might have played pretty well except for the annoying fact that committed terrorists and Taliban scum were busy blowing up shopping bazaars and attacking UN guest houses and generally, carrying on their bloody butcher business as usual.

In the administration today, ironically, it seems like Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is the ONLY person who gets the big picture. She's chiding Pakistan to get off it's patooni and start cleaning up the safe-haven areas along the Pakistani-Afghan border.

__________

CLARIFICATION NOTE: Everyone who knows me can attest to the non-fact that I have long been a supporter and admirer of Ms. Clinton.

___________

Vice President Joe Biden, Senator/General/Ambassador-At-Small John Heinz Kerry and others are the "Thomases" doubting General McChrystal. They don't want to "go to far to fast."

What do they want? A slow, distant and protracted war??

So, what's the outcome going to be?

I'm betting that President Obama is calculating the decision very very very very carefully. I'm putting my money on this sequence of events.

1. The new Afghan elections don't go well. Even if a new President comes in it's still the same stinking toilet with a different terri-cloth seat-cover and a spritz of orange air-freshener.

2. That gives President Obama the opening to say, "The Afghan people and the UN need to solve the problem. The US will still help, of course, but the insurgent attacks on UN and civilian targets dramatically show that this is a world-issue not a US-only issue.

3. So I'm only going to send 20,000 troops to Afghanistan on a clearly defined mission with a prescise timetable.

4. We will secure the cities and free-up the Afghan army and police to fight the Taliban in the countryside because the people know them and they know the people and the terrain.

5. We will also collaborate with the Pakistani government to fight the insurgents hiding there, but we will only support the Pakistani army with intelligence, drone Predators and satelite survellience to track, find, pinpoint and target high priority targets.

6. We will begin drawing down US troops at a rate of 10,000 a month in January 2010 and will leave only enough US troops there to constitute NO MORE THAN 15% of the entire UN force in the region by October 2010.

This is a war of neccessity, but it is not exclusively America's war...it is a UN war. We'll do our part, but the nations of the world need to step up with men and material to defeat this Taliban-Al Quaida-Terrorist threat to world peace.

Our burdens at home require America to share this burden abroad."

_____________________________

That's the way I'd write it...

That would enable our inspiring new President to wink at his base as he collects a Nobel Peace Prize medal in Oslo. He'll be humble, smile and pick up the $1.4 mil and exit stage left to return home to fundamentally transform America.

Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic and a Mob Of One

PS: There is only one fly in the ointment. France, Germany, Great Britain, Canada, Norway, and Spain, will not step up to solve the problem because they have neither the capital or the political will. Too many Moslems live among them and getting really tough with Al Quida and the Taliban could cause big trouble within their own borders.

China and Russia won't help...so it falls the Poles, Czechs and Turks...but, they're not real happy since Obama pulled their Missile Defense Shield to palcate Putin.

And that leaves the Italians...well, si amore they're lovers...not fighters. Maybe the Iranians, Saudis could help...pass the hashish hookah, willya?

At the end of the day, President Obama can say, "Hey I tried. But the world didn't step up. But at least I brought our troops home with honor." (Just in time to vote, for guess who?)

Hmmmmm...

But, what do I know...I'm just a schmoo in the Midwest.

 

 

 

Best Selling Author Dan Brown, Professor Robert Langdon, Birk And "The Lost Symbol" - What Bond Of Cosmic Sychronicity Ties Them All Together??

Dear Pals,

I hate to ruin a great tease...but it's almost too eerie!

Check out page 167 in Dan Brown's new best seller The Lost Symbol - it's the third in his trilogy of The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons.

Once again, the Birkster is ahead of the curve.

Check it out...then enter the correct portal on the ORCA website. Choose wisely, Grasshopper.

Oooooogahboooogah!!!...and it's isn't even Halloween yet!

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic, a Mob Of One

PS: It's all connected...and "What Is Lost...Will Be Found."

Buy Now! Act Today! Don't Delay! Don't Miss This Once-In-A-Lifetime Opportunity! Buy Barack Obama AS SEEN ON TV!!! P.T. Barnum Said It Best! And What Happened To The Obama Chia Pet???

Dear Pals,

P.T. Barnum said, "Nobody ever went broke by underestimating the intelligence of the American Public."

OOPS! My pal the man with an encyclopedic-mind-on-steriods, Kevin W. corrected me: It was H.L. Mencken writing about P.T. Barnum when he was a journalist for The Baltimore Sun.
-K

Thanks KW!!

Ol' P.T. hit the nail on the head. And, politicians everywhere took note. No one knows this better than President/Brand Barack H. Obama and his marketing-media minion David Axholerod.

But, with each passing day, more and more people are awakening from Axholerod's Hypnotic trance.

Ever heard the saying, "Nero fiddled while Rome burned"?

Well something's burning and I think "it's what Barack's cooking!"

Or, maybe it's just the cooked books over at The Fed and Treasury or at Goldman Sachs?

But, wait...maybe I'm being to harsh and stoic.

Let's look at the achievements of our Nobel Prize winning and world inspiring new President:

1) Unemployment is still rising --- and under-employment is here too in a BIG way

2) The US dollar spirals downward in value

3) Knuckleheads with knukes flip the USA and the world the bird with impunity

4) Obama "dithers" over his Generals' request for more troops in Afghanistan

5) A Trillion has been squandered on "hoop dreams" and "shovel ready projects"

6) Wall Street and bank bailouts have not trickled down to Main Street

7) A healthcare debacle of epic proportions looms

8) The Gitmo goofballs are coming here

9) The Chicago Olympics deal did not get sold

10) States are awash in Red Ink from declining tax revenues

11) The small business embattled job-creators and employers are being hammered by the triple-whammy of tight (non-existant) credit and higher taxes and SOON new healthcare mandates.

But there is hope.

And there is even change I can believe in.

People in every city, town and hamlet are waking up every morning with a REALITY CHECK in the form of an ice-cold USMC Field Shower and dry shave. America is having a HUGE case of Buyer's Remorse.

The Barack Obama brand AS SEEN ON TV is Not As Advertised, it is NOT delivering as promised.

But, to be truthful, assault and batteries on freedom and liberty are included.

The brand Barack Obama is the most heavily-advertised product on TV...he's on 24/7/365 - even on FOX, much to his dismay.

Axholerod Is Still Controlling The Message And Driving It Home With Relentless Vigor.

 If you don't believe me, just tune in to your local affiliate on any Obama Network - NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN and MSNBC.

And don't miss the newsmakers show "In The Tank" every Sunday (formerly called Meet The Press)

The more brand Obama is out there the better I like it.

Why??

Because NOTHING WILL KILL A BAD, GROSSLY DISAPPOINTING PRODUCT FASTER than great marketing.

So I say, "Go Axholerod go!"

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen Of The Republic, a Mob Of One

PS: Have you seen the Internet Police Photo Album that's going around? It's very enlightening...because all of the people in the criminal mug-shot line-ups - from cities all across America - are all wearing different types of Obama T-Shirts.

What's that suggest?

Well, obviously the Obama T-Shirts have been much more commercially successful than the Obama Chia-Pet which has mysteriously vanished from store shelves and the Internet.

If anyone has an Obama Chia-Pet in an unopened box, hang on to it - because you'll be able to sell it for $1,000,000.00 on eBay in a 2012. Unfortunately, $1,000,000.00 in 2012 will be worth 2 Chinese Yuangs.

As the late Henny Youngman might say, "Take my President...please."

 

The Power Of Positive Thinking. Birk Rx: What The World Needs Now Is Positive Thinking And A Really Good Gibson With Extra Onions.

Dear Pals,

HERE'S 30-MINUTES OF STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS POSITIVE THINKING.

I'm positive that Joe Weinmann is going to call me today with good news.

I'm positive that I will have a great - no, make that a fantastic day.

I'm positive that the economy is rebounding. Boing...boing...boing...

I'm positive that Steele will help fight floods and save people's homes.

I'm positive that life is wonderful, exciting and great.

I'm positive that I have won the big Powerball lottery.

I'm positive that the Sun will rise in the East.

I'm positive that yellow + blue = green.

I'm positive that life is good.

I'm positive that business will resurge.

I'm positive that I still look cute in my old Red Baby.

I'm positive that Steak 'n Shake still has the best fries.

I'm positive that laughter is the best medicine.

I'm positive that LaRussa will be back?

I'm positive that tattooing women's lips is a BAD idea.

I'm positive that positive creative energy is the answer to every question.

I'm positive that people will continue to enter and exit the planet.

I'm positive that chocolate milk is a food group.

I'm positive that the best is yet to come.

I'm positive that Rush Limbaugh will NOT be allowed to buy an NFL team.

I'm positive that Rush Limbaugh will be allowed to buy the St. Louis Rams.

I'm positive that the earth makes oil.

I'm positive that Edgar Cayce was on to something.

I'm positive that pork is the other white meat.

I'm positive that Al Sharpton will not invite me to dinner.

I'm positive my scale is wrong.

I'm positive that my son will graduate from college.

I'm positive that every problem contains a solution.

I'm positive that the best is yet to come.

I'm positive that pinot noir is easier on me than cabernet.

I'm positive that there are 35 more good people in the world than there are morons.

I'm positive that justice does ultimately play out.

I'm positive that I am a pain in the butt to many.

I'm positive that the world makes me laugh.

I'm positive that I have 1 really good Pal.

I'm positive that my life has been charmed and lucky.

I'm positive that Ding Dongs are good for me.

I'm positive that Sasquatch exists.

I'm positive that Charles Krauthammer is right 99.99%

I'm positive that braunschweiger and raw onion on rye is the world's best sandwich.

I'm positive that rain never falls up.

I'm positive that positive thinking works best when coupled with positive action.

I'm positive that I am a "reverse paranoid" because I know the whole world is out to help me.

I'm positive that me being quiet is good.

I'm positive that truth is stranger than fiction.

I'm positive that all's well that ends well.

I'm positive that USA Today will have a crossword puzzle.

I'm positive my cats understand English.

I'm positive that life is good even when it's bad.

I'm positive that in vino veritas is right.

I'm positive that I can't revisit the 60's.

I'm positive that negativity is not positive.

I'm positive that Murph will call.

I'm positive that there is a martini in my future if Murph calls.

I'm positive that I need to get going!

I'm positive that it will never be 7:36 am on Wednesday October 14, 2009 again.

I'm positive that this is not what Norman Vincent Peale had in mind.

I'm positive that something really cool and good and exciting and enriching will come into your life today.

I'm positive that beer is being iced down somewhere right now!

I'm positive you'll count all your blessings today.

I'm positive that God still loves me...inspite of me.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic and a Mob of One,

PS: This treatise could make me the Winner of the Nobel Prize for Theoretical Positivity.

Think Positive!!

Think Big!

Think Bold!

Live! Laugh! Love!

Have a positively great time!

After all dear Pals, we're not getting out of this alive anyway!!

At the end of the day, my goal is to have 4 undertakers trying to get the grin off my face.

Sex, Sex, Sex and More Sex. Why Is It So Darn Popular And Problematic? Birk Plows In Where Angels Fear To Tread. Brace Yourself, Maureen!

Dear Pals,

I was watching the news reports on the Gay/Lesbian/Transgender march in Washington this past weekend and it got me to thinking about Sex and its various mutations and manifestations throughout the ages. It truly is a topic you can sink your teeth into.

Be warned: This is going to get pretty deep pretty quick, so you might want to put on your waders.

Sex...what's it all about Alfie?

There have been tens of thousands of learned volumes, instructional tributes and trashy books and medical, philosophical and erotic poems and articles written on this fascinating topic.

Sex is all around us. And, it has always been thus.

Sex is on the cover of every checkout lane tabloid, it's a click away on 20 kajillion porn sites and pay-per-view TV channels and it's hard-wired, mechanically plumbed into our body and soft-wired into our brain and nervous system. Sex is accessible 24/7/365 no matter where we are are, who we are with or what we're doing.

Sex has a yin and yang to it. On the positive side, its been used as an incentive, a bargaining chip, a reward and on the negative side as punishment and retribution.

Sex has probably been the world's greatest reliever of physical stress, source of joy and pleasure and greatest cause of emotional and interpersonal stress. It is as prickly as a porcupine. It has entangled Presidents, Prime Ministers, Popes and peons.

Sex has been glorified on ancient temple walls and cities have been reportedly erased from the face of the planet in a cloud of fire and brimstone because of sexual perversion and wanton excessess. The Pharoah Ramses II, who had scores of wives and fathered more than 70 children has ironically had a condom brand named after him.

Does that strike you as odd?

Sex views, perspectives and mores have always varied from culture to culture and age to age. Witness the harems of the Ottoman Empire and the concubines of the Chinese Emporer in the Forbidden City and the brothels of Virginia City, the Roman Baths and The Coral Courts on Route 66.

Contrary to popular belief, it was not Helen of Troy's face that launched a thousand ships. It was actually another three of Helen's legendary body parts. From time in memorium sex has inspired epic sagas, millions of jokes, limmericks and even Canterbury Tales.

It even made it's way into earth sciences. The topless natives that I enjoyed "studying" as a boy in old issues of National Geographic have all but vanished in real life, thanks to the work of earnest missionaries. And, in another burst of irony; the Kama Sutra, notwithstanding, the "Missionary Position" has been immortalized as the standard for male-female physical connectivity.

Sadly, bare-breasted women had all but disappeared from Post WWII mainstream drugstore magazine racks, at least until Hugh Hefner launched Playboy with Marilyn Monroe in 1953!

Have you ever noticed that whenever you bring up the topic of Sex in mixed company (IE: Men and Women) that voices become hushed, eyebrows raise, cheeks flush and nervous titters of subdued snickering can begin.

It elicts a wide range of reactions and it all gets rather confusing very quickly.

Let me see if I can shed a little light here.

God Himself dedicated 2 of the 10 commandments to sexual issues. In the thousands of years in pre-commandment times, Sex rules must have been left up to individual interpretation. But now in the post-Moses era, God has chalked the field.

Thou shalt not commit adultery. (What about teenagery? Or people who never grew up? There might be a loophole here.)

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.

NOTE: Commandment 2 above is really easy to obey if your neighbor's wife weighs 275 lbs. Not a lot of coveting goin' on there.

Since 10-Commandment time, society and religion have even further defined the rules for human sexual behavior. Since I was raised as a guilt-ridden Catholic, I learned early on about the destructive potential of Sex. It was kind of like nitrogylcerine...if used outside the prescribed role of pro-creation within wedlock ( an interesting term) , you could shake things up to the point where you would blow yourself to flinders in mortal sin and end up roasting in Hell for all eternity plus 20 minutes.

That thought gave me this scary dream as a kid.

SCENE ONE: 23rd Level of Hell where the New Arrival joins a burned, blistered and tormented crew shoveling white hot coals:

New Arrival: Hi I'm Birk...

Hell Occupant One: What are you in for?

New Arrival: (Slightly embarrassed) Well, I had, ahem...well, ahh...in a ahhh...sex and ahhh...

Hell Occupant Two: Sex? Hahahahaha!

New Arrival: What's so funny? Who are you guys and what are you in for?

Hell Occupant One: I'm Adolf Hitler and this's Mao Tse Tung, Joe Stalin's on coffee break. Grab a shovel Pal and tell us how your sexcapades got you way down here...this oughta be good.

_________________________

Hmmmm...seems like sex can really get you in deep-do-do if you ascribe to the mortal sin = burn in Hell belief system.

But wait a minute...let's look a little closer at the types of sex.

CATEGORY ONE: MENTAL SEX

Fantasy Sex: the most raptuously pleasureable experience you can imagine with any human being past, present or future. 

Impromptu Mental Sex: the kind of sex you can envision having on the spur of the moment, or the drop of a hat, or in the blink of an eye with a beautiful person at the peak of their physical prowess. For men - a spectacular 20-year old female, for women a 20-year old Adonis.

Silver Screen Projection Sex: the kind of sex you have in your mind with a specific Big Screen Hollywood star or MTV vixen...Racquel Welch, Jennifer Aniston, Bo Derek, Madonna, Wally Cox or Rock Hudson...Hey, there's a lid for every pot!

Neighbor Sex: the kind of sex you have in your mind with the lady up the block who gardens in really tight short shorts and a halter top. Or, in the case of lady fantasizers, the well-tanned muscly guy who cuts the grass in his Speedo.

Office Sex: the kind of mental sex you have with any co-worker who "turns you on" - clear the desk! (I actually had an associate who walked in on a receptionist and an account executive enjoying sex on my antique cherry wood tailor's table. I heard about it the next day.)

Travel Sex: the kind of mental sex inspired by white sand beaches, blue waters, or by bearskin rugs and roaring fires in a chalet. Las Vegas, Aspen and Sandals has created a multi-billion dollar industry out of this imagery.

Forbidden Sex: akin to Fantasy Sex...but much naughtier, kinkier or preverse from the norms of the specific society. Pour the champagne, squirt the whipped cream, paint on the chocolate jello pudding and fire up Robbie The Robot.

The great thing about Mental Sex is it's all in your mind, so it's FREE and guilt free, unless of course you tell Fr. Murphy about those impure thoughts you've been having about Mary Jo, who lived behind Western Bowl...well, that's another story.

CATEGORY TWO: LIFE STAGE SEX

Pre-Teen Solo Sex: The personal discovery and experience of the "other use" of human plumbing. As comedian Lewis Black said, "I'll never forget the first time I had sex, there I was all alone!"

Teen Age Sex: Margaret Mead's coming of age in Samoa is a classic of exploratory innocence on this topic. Blue Lagoon, anyone? Brooke Shields inspired lots of scuba-diving!

Farm Sex: Kids that grow up around cows, pigs and horses get a bird's eye view of Nature in action. Down on the farm, a roll in the hay could result in a bun in the oven and a shotgun wedding...or an extended trip to visit Aunt Ethel in the city.

Drive-In Sex: That now by-gone era of back-seat, steamed up windows, hot-buttered unsalted popcorn sex and Rodan. DP...are you laughing?

Parent's Out Of Town Sex: A variation of Parents Are At Work sex...usually in the basement, rathskeller or girl's bedroom...but an attic or garage will do in a pinch

Pub Sex: The kind you have when Mr. Happy gets lucky...also known as everyone looks great at closing time sex. The downside of this is waking up with a woman who has a better moustache than you do! Hello Leo!!

Dirty-Flirty Bar Sex: The kind practiced by barmaids with "enhanced bosoms" that are generously exposed in revealing low-cut blouses to their drooling male customers as a very successful means of enhancing their tips. The rule is - "Spy a nip...sweeten the tip!" It's kinda tit for tat.

Highschool Sex - was there really such a thing? Those of us who went to all boys Catholic Prep Schools still wonder about what the public school co-ed action was like.

College Sex: In the dorm, in the Frat House, in the Castlewood Hilton, on the 50-yard line, in the Dean's office, in the gym, under the bleachers, on the kitchen table, in the library closet, on a hammock, trapeze, parallell bars or rings - or on a hayride or in a truckbed. College students are the original anywhere anytime sexcapaders. Did I miss any locations?

Pre-Marital Engagement Sex: That exciting test-drive period when the engaged couple is fully engaged in coupling and proving how great it's going to be once they are together in wedded bliss forever. It is the undressed rehearsal for the Honeymoon.

Honeymoon and Newly-wed Sex: The songs "In the Mood" and "Makin' Whoopee" seems to cover this time of life. It's a lot like College Sex, but with the same person in your own pad. Very convenient.

Baby-Makin' Sex: It's time to do your duty for Humanity, Queen and Country and reproduce! How many???...well, that's a good question. Eight Is Enough...and Cheaper By The Dozen were just two wrong answers.

Married Life Sex: Every other day sex now moves to Friday night and/or Saturday morning, then to every other week, then to once a month, then to whenever a headache, pressing engagement, kid's soccer game/sleepover or workday meeting isn't looming. Finally it settles in on New Year's Eve, Anniversary day and of course, it's here's your favorite Birthday Present time.

Divorced Sex: That feverish flurry of red hot sexual activity following being kicked to the curb; when "The Kicked One" seeks to re-establish their desireability, self-esteem and sex appeal. Cougar Sex had it's roots here...and they were bleached roots in many cases.

Adventure Sex: Mile High Club, Million Man March, Band Sex, Beach Sex, Cougar Conquest...it's more about the thrill of the chase than actually mounting and keeping the trophy.

Trophy Wife/Husband Sex: Proves that if money can't buy happiness, at least it can underwite a lot of earthly pleasure.

Friends With Privileges Sex: Consentual, recreational , exploratory, erotic, sensual and often racous and rapturous...it's how some people play. Cheaper than golf, not as rigorous as camping, hunting or birdwatching, no binoculars and heavy equipment needed and it's rarely rained out.

Sex At Sixty: I'm not talking miles per hour here. This is where fore-play becomes eight-play...twice as long. Who's in a hurry? Pass the Cialis and let the good times roll. It's all about experience, expertise, comfort, care and consideration. And more than a few laughs!!

Octoberfest Sex: A great German invention where eveyone reverts to being single for 2-weeks. It's the original don't ask, don't tell event. A great way to celebrate the Harvest and sow a few wild oats. Ein bier Fraulein, bitte schoen.

Hooker Sex: If you're on a limited budget and can't underwrite permanent pleasure with a Trophy Spouse/Mistress/BoyToy, at least you can rent it by the hour.

Gentlemen's Club Sex - it's like a visit to The Art Museum, only the naked works of art here are not still lifes or made of cold marble - they are well-oiled visions of poetry in motion on a polished pole.

Heinz Catsup Sex - it's the kind where the Anticipation is better than the actual event.

Make Up Sex - Maybelline, Avon or Clinique isn't involved. It's that sex that follows a spat, argument, greivance or WWIII. It verifies that all is well again...open the champagne and put the roses in the vase.

Your Parent's Sex - it's unimaginable, unfathomable, improbable, anti-picturesque and eewwww gross - it makes you believe you were ordered from L.L.Bean.

David Letterman Sex - it's a sure fire ratings booster and will undoubtedly inspire more than a few tabloid articles, Top Ten Lists and Stupid Pet Tricks. Makes you wonder who's under Dave's desk tonight.

Halloween Sex - it's when a sexy girl dressed like a witch jumps out of your closet and yells, "taBOO!"

Sheepish Sex - People don't ordinarily flock to it, but, according to lonely shephards, it's not Baaaaaaahhhd.

____________________________

BIG SEX QUESTIONS:

Why did God make the female form the apple of man's eye? And vice versa?

Why is sex such a powerful urge?

Why is sex so enduring...at least in theory and memory, if not in practice?

Is Sex synonomous with Love?

That's a HUGE question.

Can you have love without sex?

Can you have sex without love?

Is Lovemaking a misnomer for Sexcapading?

And, finally is sauce for the goose really sauce for the gander? A lot of folks have gotten in big trouble for taking a gander and giving a goose when sauced.

REALITY CHECK:

There are some people who are made for each other. They meet, fall in love and stay that way for the rest of their joyous and blissful lives.

Does anyone care to venture what percentage of the human population that is?

Whatever number is left is the rest of humanity.

Which group are you in?

Sex is a REALLY big deal in America. Not such a big deal in Paris or Rio. Why?

Vive la differance!

Polynesia before the Europeans introduced venereal diseases, Christianity and bras was really a pretty idyllic place where sex was just as natural as swimming. Polynesia must have been a lot like what Paradise must have been like before the dreaded "Apple-Reptile incident."

Is Sex just another normal bodily function - like breathing, eating and food processing? Have we attached an undue level of importance to it though man-made conventions, property laws and religious taboos?

What is "normal" Sex?

Oh boy! That really opens up Pandora's Box...personally, I'm a man-woman one-on-one kinda guy. A lot of the stuff I hear about is well beyond the pale of normal to me. I think there is a human bell-curve of Sexual Activity with most "normal" being in the middle with some extremes at either end.

I think Einstein's theory of relativity comes into play here too. What is normal is culturally and individually relative. Polygamy was accepted in many cultures for thousands of years, even in early Judeo-Christian settings. And homosexuality of both the male and female variety was normal in Athens. And, of course Cpl. Klinger popularized trans-genderism on M.A.S.H. Wasn't he lovely in chiffon?

Did you every wonder about The Lone Ranger and Tonto? Yancey Derringer and Pahoo? Or, Pancho and Cisco? Talk about gay caballeros!

Same sex preferences have existed from time in memorium. Amazons, Lesbians, Athenian man-love...it's all there in the pages of world history. The spirit of Sodom and Gommorah and the sex trade is still alive today. The world's oldest profession still attracts many practitioners and clients.

I even wondered about the Faun of Greco-Roman mythology...half-goat, half man and 100% weird. And, what about Jabba The Hutt? How did that dude get concieved? Now there's an anti-picturesque thought.

Sex is in its bare essence (no pun intended) all about creativity and the expression of it.

The hit TV show MAD MEN revels in the "steamy sexy creativity" of the advertising agency business back in the sexy 60's. And, the cable show HUNG has plowed new ground in making male prostitution acceptable and oddly funny. The role reversal of female client and male hooker is simultaneously alarming, amusing and totally bizarre.

Sex is usually unique to every genus and species, unless of course, man intervenes and creates the Labradoodle.

The human race has produced a myriad of indviduals from the sexual comingling of races. Some of the most exotically beautiful women in the world are Eurasian and Afrocausian. Author Graham Hancock's wife is a stunningly beautiful Ethiopian woman with refined Caucasian features and a skin as black as night.

The more I look at history, the more I see the powerful and pervasive role that sex has played. The redheads of Northern Italy...owe it to the conquering armies of Barbarossa. The Black Irish come from the comingling of the Irish and Spanish sailors shipwrecked after their Armada was sunk in 1588.

Costa Ricans today are a marvelous mixture of indigenous Central American Indians, African slaves, Spanish conquistadores and German immigrants.

Everywhere I go I see the dance of God's creative sexual expressions playing out. Sex will continue to be popular...not just because it is centrally-located, but because mankind is still a work in progress.

It's up to each one of us to learn how to use our sexual energy...perhaps, the commandment to love one another is the divine tempering mechanism that separates man from the chimp...and David Letterman from Jon Stewart.

I'll ask my banana-eating companion in the photo about that and get back to you with a second opinion. Did you know that only 8 chromosones separate the DNA of Man from Chimpanzee?

Gee, I could'a had a furcoat!

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen Of The Repbulic

PS: As a friend of mine once said, "Enjoy sex now...because we're all gonna be dead for a very long time."

A similar notion is expressed in the lyrics of a silly polka song, "In heaven there is no beer, that's why we drink it here."

And as Mae West so wryly and wisely observed, "Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you."

Is it any wonder that when someone asks, "Shall we? "

That so many others enthusiastically answer, "Lets!!!"

PS 2: "Tennis Anyone?" --could that be a cleverly coded Country Club metaphor for this age old question.

PS 3: "Brace yourself Maureen!" is also known as "Irish foreplay."

President Barack Hussein Obama Wins The Nobel Peace Prize!! Why? What Has He REALLY Accomplished?? A Contrarian Opinion.

Dear Pals,

I'm going out on a limb here, but I don't think President Obama deserves the Nobel Peace Prize, unless they are handing it out for wishful thinking.

I actually think that his policies are a detriment to world peace and even a threat to our National Security.

There, I said it out loud.

Since he has been in office, I cannot point to any REAL accomplishments in the area of world peace. I do not consider making speeches to be worthy of the Nobel Prize. If that were all it took, then they could give the Nobel Peace Prize to everyone from the Pope to the Dali Lama (who Obama just snubbed)  to the lowest level tin-horn dictator who mouths the words, "world peace."

Throughout history, there have been monnikers assigned to various world leaders:

Alexander The Great

Peter The Great

Ivan The Terrible

John The Divine

Richard The Lion Hearted

So what name should we assign to President Barack Obama?

Let's review all of his wonderful REAL accomplishments toward creating world peace.

1) Gave "Muslim outreach" speech In Cairo (Nice try)

2) Persuaded Iran to stop nuclear missle development (Not yet)

3) Persuaded North Korea to stop firing missles and working on more nukes (Not yet)

4) Presuaded Hamas and the Palestinian Authority to negotiate in good faith (Not yet)

5) Defeated the Taliban (Hahahaha)

6) Gave the okay to shoot 2 Somali Pirates (Good call)

7) Authorized Justice Department to investigate CIA (Bad call)

8) Released Gitmo detainees to rejoin terrorist ranks (Worse call)

9) Presented his vision of a nuke free world at UN (Narsicissm's finest hour?)

10) Promised "peace in our time." (Ooops...that was Chamberlain)

11) Reneged on missle defense deal with Poland and Czech Republic  (Yep)

12) Got France and Britain and Russia to shake a disapproving finger at Iran (Yep)

13) Convened direct talks with Iran (Yep...and they agreed to keep talking)

Wait a minute...so far, aside from authorizing the SEALS to takeout 2 Somali scumbags, I don't see any REAL - as in tangible - accomplishments toward real world peace here.

Do you?

I believe that President Obama's style, belief system, self-concept and policies are Chamberlainesque. He must actually think that he can talk sense to people like the Iranians, North Koreans and now the Taliban to get them to come around to be peaceful folks.

Is that a realistic worldview??

I believe the Thugocracy in North Korea, The Terrorist Theocracy in Iran and Muslim extremists from Somalia to Denver, Colorado and New York City see him as a weak, waffling person who's stongest response thus far has been to voice an occasional "strong concern" or fire off an occasional drone missle into a mud hut.

I believe that President Obama's new policy to include the "moderate members of the Taliban" in an Afghan government and the ignoring of his military commanders on the ground in their request for troops is a recipe for unmitigated disaster.

FYI: Do you know how to tell a Taliban Moderate from a Taliban Extremist? The moderate is the one that is no longer breathing.

The naivete, arrogance and delusional caprice of the Obama Administration, and that includes General Joe Biden, is staggering in the face of:

1) Historical facts and behavioral precedents by Al Quida/Taliban

2) Actions by Iran and North Korea

3) Avowed goals and actions by Hamas, Hezbollah and The Palestinian Authority

4) Professed nuclear ambitions by Iran and now Venezuela

5) Professed intent to destroy Israel by Iran in order to usher in the Age of the 12th Imam

6) Worldwide nuclear proliferation - Hugo Chavez is in the market now too and Russia's ready to sell him new military technology

So where do we come out...

I for one have seen no REAL, tangible results from all of Obama's speech making, apologies for America or "open hand" diplomatic initiatives.

I believe the Iranians will keep talking to the U.S. and others until the day they hit Tel Aviv with a nuke on the tip of a North Korean missle.

I believe the scumbags and vermin of the earth have taken President Obama's measurement very well. They know that he loves the resonance of his own voice. So they will keep him talking...they'll even pretend to listen as they buy all the time they need to arm themselves before they unleash their weapons at will.

It looks a lot like 1938 all over again to me.

I would not be surprised to see President Obama return from Oslo with his Nobel Prize under his arm and declare, "peace in our time."

Will history show him to be: Barack The ___________________.

You fill-in the blank.

1) Savior of the world

2) Naive

3) Vaccilator

4) Delusional

5) Visonary

6) Charmer

7) Enabler

8) Weak

9) Brilliant

10) Peacemaker

Here's the Bottomline, as I see it:

Being awarded this prestigious prize will not advance the cause of world peace even one millimeter, it will only serve to ratify Obama's unwavering faith in himself and it will buttress his naive behavior. Any one, like me, who speaks up with a contrary view will be labeled as a "right-wing, war-mongering-Obama-hating racist."

Believe it or not, I've been called worse.

At the end of the day, the price of Obama's Nobel Peace Prize will be paid for by the endangerment of our armed forces in the field and the security of our nation here and around the world.

"Blessed are the peace makers for they shall see God."

Being a Christian, I really like that sentiment, I just hope that someone can really MAKE peace, instead of just TALK peace. Actions still speak louder than words. And right now, all the actions seem to be taking place in secret nuclear labs and roadside bomb factories.

I really hope I'm wrong about all this...

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

PS: Where is the Churchill of our age?