The Wise Buddha-hahahaha

Jack Ortbal - Recollections Of A "Three O'Clock In The Morning Pal."

Dear Pals,

I started to write this on June 14, 2012, a little while after the unexpected death of my longtime pal, Jack Ortbal. Jack is one of those rarest of all pals, the kind that you could call at 3 o'clock in the morning from the darkest hole in Hell to ask for help and he would instantly saddle up and ride at breakneck speed to save your sorry ass.

PRE-RAMBLE: THE FIRST MEETING - Jack arrived at Augustinian Academy about 3-months into our freshman year. Since we had both 5 and 7 day boarders, I assumed the new kid was just another late arrival from out of town.

I was soon disabused of that notion.

Jack had arrived from CBC, Christian Brothers College, the cross-town ROTC military prep school. It seems that a Christian Brother had sought to reprimand young Jack for some offense and when Jack tried to explain the situation to him, it evoked the predictable reaction, you see, The Christian Brothers' word was the law and no explanations from snot-nosed students was sought, desired or tolerated.

So the Brother applied immediate corporal punishment, which was par for the course in those days.

That was followed by Jack knocking the Brother out cold right in the hallway in front of God and everybody. Jack got the boot and that sent him our way to Augustinian Academy, a brand new (short of cash and students) Catholic Boys College Prep School that was just starting in 1961. The Augustinians were a much kinder, gentler and more tolerant Order, that "very rarely" laid one of their long and broad leather cinctures on a student...and no one ever knocked out an Augustinian monk, because they traveled in packs.

Suffice it to say, that legend had arrived in our midst... "Quick Fists" was here!

Jack was the youngest child of Muriel and Milton Ortbal, he had an older brother named Tom and a trail-blazing sister named Judy. Jack was a lad of normal size with blond wavy hair, a quick smile, happy laugh and piercing blue eyes. As I was to soon discover, he was also pound for pound, one of the strongest guys I would ever meet.

In 1961, I was in Section 11 and Jack was in Section 12, so it took a little while for us to meet. When we did, we hit it off. My memory is a little fuzzy on who the intermediary was, but it could have been Jay Giardina, Jerry Macchi or Dan Powers, who already knew Jack from grade school.

LET THE ADVENTURES BEGIN! The stories I tell are not in chronological order...just the way they came bubbling up to me. And I am NOT making this up or embellishing it. I'm also NOT going "everywhere" because Jack will come and get me!



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1) KELLY'S BAR & SOCK THE OC!- I dropped off Joe Kuebel on Bunkum Road near Belleville and then got hopelessly lost coming back from the Cahokia race track. Then I had my car rear-ended by a butcher getting off work at some packinghouse. My VW was disabled.

Thank God, I was beneath the McKinley Bridge in East St. Louis, Illinois and I had $2.09 in my pocket.

There was a bar under the bridge with a neon sign that blinked: Kelly's. I went inside. The joint was filled with a lot of happy people and I was the only pale-face. I ordered a small Baby Bud and used the change to place a rescue call to Jack Ortbal.

"Jack, it's Birk. I need your help...I've been in a car wreck and I'm in a bar under the McKinley Bridge in East St. Louis, can you come get me? Yes, I know it's 3:00 am. Of course, I'm drunk...that's why I called you!"

Jack said, "I'm on my way!"

It would be at least 30-minutes before the 7th Cavalry arrived, so I sat silently at the very far end of the bar near the door and tried to be invisible.

I became entranced watching a man playing a kind of target-shooting pinball game. It was called, "Sock The OC!" The man was shooting a pre-laser light beam from a toy-pistol that was mounted on a post. He aimed the light at the tentacles on an revolving Octopus that was rotating back and forth. When the light hit a tentacle, he scored. I had never seen this game before and I have never seen one since.

When I had nursed my Baby Bud down to the last dregs known as the "itsy-bitsy spider," the game-playing man became very upset with his score results, so he complained to the bartender that the "Sock The OC" gun was not working properly and wanted his money back. The bartender gave him a few coin-slugs and said, "The game's fine, you just can't shoot straight when you're drunk."

The angry man went back and started playing again. After he spent the last complimentary slug, his results were still bumpkiss.

At that point he whipped a real revolver out of his pocket and emptied it into "The OC!" It was the ultimate "Sock" and "The OC" was blown into a flying display of electrical sparks, wooden splinters and glass flinders.

Me and everyone else in the joint hit the floor. The shooter turned and proceeded to walk calmly toward the door past me when the biggest and blackest man I have ever seen stepped out of the smokey darkness and hit him with one haymaker of a punch that dropped him like a bag of concrete across the threshold.

A half a split second later, Jack Ortbal nonchalantly stepped over the freshly fallen shootist, who was now doing a great impression of a doormat. Jack called into the inky darkness, "Hey Birk are you in here?"

I jumped up and over the shooter and raced out the door with Jack. As the sirens were wailing toward Kelly's, Jack pulled his 1949 Ford up behind and pushed my VW up to 10 mph. I popped the clutch and we were off!

Jack followed me all they way home, then he took off without a word, but with just wave like the old Lone Ranger! As I went up the front steps on the way in to my home by the dawn's early light, I met my Mother who was coming out.

"Where are you going Mom?"

She stared through the red-eyes in my numbskull with her Irish eyes that were NOT smiling and said, "Six o'clock Mass."

I went up to my room and hid out til Monday.

2) DOTTIE & LARRY'S - Dan Powers discovered this Eastside Bar near Granite City that was full of "easy girls." So off we went on a snowy night in search of romance or a reasonable facsimile thereof. I rode with Jack and Dan arrived later in another car.

Jack pulled into a snow bank on the parking lot at 20 mph, only to discover a steel post under the plowed up drift. That jolting crash put him in an ill humor. We went inside and sat at a table waiting for Powers. After a few beers, I drunkenly decided to make an announcement to the entire bar.

"My friend here can beat any man here in arm wrestling! Put up $5.00 bucks and try your luck."

Jack looked at me in disbelief as the Illinois boys lined up. Some looked like the man-bears of the Bigfoot tribe. They sat down one by one, gripped Jack's right hand and grunted. He'd hold them steady for a few seconds, then he's slam their arm down with one swift motion.

We were up $50.00 in no time flat!-Jack had put down 10 in a row in quick succession. The local ladies were impressed. But the boys were a tad peeved.

Jack confided in a whisper, "My arm's getting really tired."

One big boy with a full beard and a baldhead sat down and said, "Let's go!"

As the promoter, I said, "My friend's right arm is tired...do you mind if he switches to his left arm for $10.00?"

Jack flashed me that "I'll kill you Birk look."

But $10.00 was $10.00 bucks. The big boy gripped Jack's left hand and grunted. Jack slammed him down and then quickly stood up and said, "Show's over...let's go."

We made a hasty exit and Jack softly tossed me the car keys and said, "You drive."

I asked,"Why? I'm drunker than you are."

Jack said, "Because I can't move my arms...but, when I can, I'm gonna kill you."

I gave Jack the winnings and we rolled on from Dottie & Larry's over the icy roads back to Bishop's Place. Drunk as Lords and $60.00 to the good!

Powers stayed behind in pursuit of the "original objective" - I believe he found a warm spot in Smithton later that night.

3) KNOCK, KNOCK...WHO'S THERE? The gentlemen from the St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department asked, "Does a John Ortbal live here?" Mr. Ortbal, invited the officers in and told Jack that the Police were here to see him.

"John, where were you last night," the officer asked?

Jack was still sleepy..."Le's see...Steak 'n Shake, Chuck-A-Burger, Steak 'n Shake and ahhh...Chuck-A-Burger." He had been making the circuit cruisin' the local burger joints.

"John, is this your wallet," the officer showed him a GENUINE CALFSKIN billfold, with his Driver's License in it.

"Yeah, where'd you get it," Jack was mystified?

The officer scowled, "In the backseat of a stolen car, John."

Jack said, "I don't know how it got there."

The cop asked, "John, were you in the backseat of any car last night?"

The light in Jack's sleepy head began to flicker and finally went on, "I was with LW and JD. But they picked me up and I didn't know the car was stolen!" (Initials used to avoid embarrassing the other boys)

Jack told the truth. JD and LW got arrested. It turned out they had stolen up to 10 cars in a single night on more than one occassion. Both were expelled from the Academy. One returned after a year to graduate with honors as a Senior.

One went on to lead a life of crime and ended up in the Missouri Stare pen. The other one became a distinguished military officer, who served on the White House staff.

Jack and he remained friends for a lifetime.

4) CASTLEWOOD HILTON - It was a party place at the end of Old Ballwin Road. It was the biggest of the old resort houses owned by Bob Fudge ( real name) the Mayor/Sheriff/Fire Marshal/King of Castlewood.

Jack and I were Sophmores at St. Louis University when we and 13 other morons rented the Hilton for $150 a month. I was the Treasurer and Jack was the Sergeant-At-Arms, we actually were stupid enough to co-sign the lease and that meant we had the nearly impossible task of collecting $10 a month from the other idiots.

The Hilton was so named because it had 11 small bedrooms surrounding a large central dance floor. A bar ran the full length of the back of the building and it had an indoor bathroom for the girls and a "Men's Tree" just across the foot bridge that spanned a creek/sewer/drainage ditch that was outside the back door.

Jack and I "fixed up" one bedroom - one of only two that had a window - which was to prove handy for entry and escape. Across the "sports field" in front of the Hilton was another party house that was rented by another St. Louis U group that called themselves "The Leasers."

I could write a book about what went on at the Hilton, and many very prominent men and proper women would probably pay me NOT to publish it.

Jack and I made the weekly trip to the Hilton every Friday around 3:00 pm to get the place organized for the weekend parties. Jack had a driving ritual that he always did to "save his brakes."

When he turned his '49 Ford onto New Ballwin Road heading South off Manchester, he'd get it up to 75 mph on the two-lane blacktop, when the car crested the last hill and the road turned downward winding into the valley, he would put the car in neutral, crack a beer and coast allllll the way down the hill past the old Roadhouse, through the little houses in the hamlet of Castlewood, past the volunteer firehouse and Bob Fudge's Bar and he'd turn the car into the Hilton driveway and coast across the field and stop the car by hitting a big tree stump at about 0.5 mph.

He had it down to a science. Then he'd laugh like hell!

Maybe someday I'll write the unexpurgated TALES OF THE CASTLEWOOD HILTON, my working title is: When Nighthood Was In DeFlower!

Who knows maybe they''ll "SEE LOUGH'S EYE HERE TONIGHT!"

5) POWERFUL PATIO PUNCH: When I had just started working at Ralston-Purina circa 1967, three batchelors - Leo Gieszelman, Jim Wadsworth and I had a two-story, full basement, 3-bedroom townhouse in Covington Manor.

One night we threw a party that got a lot larger than we expected. Word of the party attracted a lot of people - who knew who was a friend of who??

Jack was there and he had a broken leg, he was in a walking cast and leaning on a crutch. We were out back on the 10' x 10' patio having a drink and watching the action. There was a very small stockade fence dividing our patio from the one next door.

Things were sailing along when some character tossed a beer can out of the backdoor and bounced it across the patio and into the yard. I said, "Hey pick up that can!" The guy, whom I had never laid eyes on came out and said, "You pick it up."

I said, "Look asswipe, I live here...I don't know or care who you are, but I'm not picking up that can...that's what this is for..." - I pointed to a large trash can.

The next thing I knew I was on my back looking up at Orion's Belt. The guy had clocked me good!

Then it was like a Miracle at Lourdes, I saw Jack toss his crutch away as he hopped over me and across the patio slab on his one good one leg yelling, "You can't hit my friend!"

POW! Jack nailed the guy and sent him flying back into the stockade fence which went down into the neighbor's patio. Jack flew on top of him and began wailing on the guy.

When he got up, the guy had a bloody nose.

He looked at Jack and said, "I'm gonna sue you!"

Jack said, "Okay, here's someting to sue me about."

In rapid succession he popped the guy in the mouth 3 to 4 times like his head was a punching bag and knocked his teeth through his lips. The guy left...I retrieved Jack's crutch and the party resumed. No lawsuit ensued...whew!

6) THE SIDNEY STREET & FAILONI SINGERS - In later years I used to meet Jack and his sister Judy at the Sidney Street Grill for a drink or twenty.

Jack had a hidden talent - he was a great singer...and he knew a ton of songs. Some of my happiest memories of Jack are hearing him sing.

He also sang at Failoni's on Southwest Avenue on many occasions with his pal who sounded more like Frank Sinatra than Frank Sinatra did. What a pair!!

7) KOLPING HOUSE - I danced like a man possessed and had a ball at the Kolping House reception when Jack married Joan. Many years later, I watched a beaming Jack dance with his and Joan's drop-dead-gorgeous daughter, Nicole at her wedding.

Jay Giardina (winner of the Ben Kingsley look-alike-contest in The Sicilian Bastard Division) and Jerry Macchi reminsced that night about Jack and Joan's wedding...long ago, but as close as a thought.

8) WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY ROTC BUILDING GOES UP IN FLAMES: The ROTC Building at Washington University was actually a Quonset hut on Big Bend just north of Forsyth. Back in the late '60's a crowd of students burned it down as part of a Viet Nam War protest.

If you check the records of that event, you will find that the Campus Security Guard on duty that evening was Jack Ortbal. I once asked Jack why he didn't stop the mob of students.

He said, "What was I supposed to do...shoot 'em with my flashlight?"

Jack never told me where he went to call the University City and Clayton cops...but I think it was Santoro's.

9) MORTGAGE MAN & LPPRO - Jack had a long and successful career in real estate, sometimes hooking up with our old classmate Carwin Lindenbusch. Jack's office was on Hampton Avenue in those days in the building where my Uncle Frank's occasional partners, the Aboussie Brothers once officed. Jack helped me re-fi one of our homes...and he never sent a bill for his services.

Later I helped him and his wife Carolyn set up LPPRO, an Internet Back Office service for loan originators. The timing was bad as the housing market tanked just as they were launching. Jack and Carolyn worked very hard at it. I was happy to have helped them.

10) BARTALINO BUDDIES & LONG LUNCHES - Jack had to have had at least 9-lives and 16-balls. He bravely fought sudden onset cancer and he joked about looking like Mr. Clean when he lost all his hair and even his eyebrows (that is where the Mr. Clean resemblance ended). All throughout his struggles with health issues, he never complained about the curve balls, hard-hop grounders and sometimes self-inflicted injuries that came his way.

11) THE STUPID BUS - There used to be a clearly marked BUSES ONLY bridge that ran from Marshal Avenue over the drainage creek and into a BiState bus staging area that was behind an Industrial Park on Manchester Road. One night Jack and I had left a bar in Webster and were racing to O'Brien's on Brentwood. They had a piano bar at O'Brien's and Jack loved to go there and serenade the ladies 'til closing time.

On one full-moonlit night, Jack decided to take a short cut across the BUSES ONLY bridge. He sped onto the bus-width span at about 60 mph which was his standard speed in urban areas.

Good grief! Coming across the bridge toward us was a BUS!

I said,"Looks like you'll have to back up." 

Jack ignored me and began honking his horn, flashing his lights and wildly waving his left arm out the driver's side window. As we approached the BUS he said, "Stupid Bus! Birk, lay over against the window and close your eyes. Go ahead...hurry up!"

The BUS and Jack stopped bumper-to-bumper. 

Jack jumped out of the car and ran up to the bus driver's window. Seconds later, he returned and jumped back into the car. The BUS began to back up. It backed up at least halfway across the bridge and back down the on-ramp giving Jack just enough room to dart past it.

He was laughing like hell as we sped off toward O'Brien's.

"Jack, what did you say to the bus driver?"

He was laughing like the Devil... "I told the driver that your water broke and I was taking a short cut to St. Mary's."

"And he bought it," I asked incredulously? After all, I had a moustache!

Jack looked me in the eye and said, "I think the driver took pity on me when he saw how ugly you were!" Then he laughed almost convulsively.

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Jack loved to talk about his kids, Kyle and Nicole and always kept me up-to-date on the shenanighans of his other Amigos. We had a lot of long and laugh-filled lunches in the year before he died, and frankly, he whipped The Big C's surprise attack before a stroke finally got him.

At Kutis I saw many, many pictures of a life lived well and large. Jack wrote his own lyrics, sang his own song and danced to his own tune.

He was a true friend and I really miss him.

I'M DOWN TO JUST TWO NOW. 3 O'clock in the morning pals are really hard to come by...I'm down to just two now...and GS and DS know who they are.

FOOTNOTE: One last memory, Jack's name was the ONLY name mis-spelled in our official class photo that once proudly hung as THE FIRST GRADUATING CLASS 1965, in the hallowed halls of the now long-gone Academy. It now hangs under safeguard in the Fortress of Liberty.

In the Official Photo, Jack's last name was spelled - Jack Ortbald - instead of Jack Ortbal. When he saw it, he said, "Good, that'll throw the IRS off!"

I'm hoping some of Jack's buddies will add their comments too.

To add a comment, like Greg Slack did...just click on COMMENT - below the blog and type away!

Oil Still Seeps From The U.S.S Arizona.

 

REPOSTED ON THE 70TH ANNIVERSARY - DECEMBER 7, 2011

Sixty-eight years ago, my Uncle Harry T. Collins awoke to find the U.S. Fleet under attack at Pearl Harbor. He, like every other sailor there, went immediately to battle stations. He was on the destroyer USS Chew (DD-106). The Chew and all other ships received orders to get under way and to get out of Pearl Harbor and make for the open sea lest the entire fleet be destroyed.

Uncle Harry said it was utter chaos that day. Battleship Row was the central target and the Japanese torpedo bombers were concentrating on them. The ones in bold below were sunk.

US NAVY Battleships (BB) Pennsylvania (BB-38) (in drydock) Arizona (BB-39) Nevada (BB-36) Oklahoma(BB-37) Tennessee (BB-43) California (BB-44) Maryland (BB-46) West Virginia (BB-48)

Uncle Harry survived Pearl Harbor, after the war he returned to St. Louis and had a distinguised career with the St. Louis Police Department and later in his retirement years, he worked with Boys Town Of Missouri in St. James and here in St. Louis.

Every year he went to the Pearl Harbor Survivors Memorial Ceremony. In recent years, they tossed a Wreath Of Remembrance to honor their fallen comrades on the waters of the Misssissippi River below the Gateway Arch.

Sailors know that all waters flow to the sea and that all the seas connect to the oceans. And they know that on the final day, the seas and oceans will give up their dead.

Across the Pacific in the quiet waters of Pearl Harbor another ceremony will take place today on The Arizona Memorial. On this quiet white structure are listed the names of every sailor, Marine and soldier who died in the dreadful sneak attack on that "day that will live in infamy."

Below the Memorial, the USS Arizona and many of her brave crewmen still lie entombed.

Today, the name of every person listed on the walls of the Arizona Memorial will be read aloud and they will be remembered and honored.

We visited the Memorial many years ago and it is a very serene, reverent and holy place. When you look over the side you can see the USS Arizona below.

Oil still seeps from the USS Arizona. Her heart still bleeds for all the brave men and women who took the first blow against the United States in World War II.

Today, we all need to set aside some quiet time to remember what happened 68 years ago today. And, if you are lucky enough to have had a Pearl Harbor Survivor in your family, please hold them foremost in your thoughts today.

To my late Uncle Harry and to his cohorts, I'd just like to say that you will always have the thanks and honor of a grateful Nation. The oil that still seeps from the Arizona will not let us forget Sunday, December 7, 1941.

And let us not forget the men and women of the Armed Forces of the United States Of America who are protecting our lives and liberty at his very hour around the world.

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen Of The Republic

Reflections On Resurrection Of Our Lord...Not The One In Israel...The One At Meremac And Hydraulic. A.K.A. My 50th. Grade School Reunion...June 18, 2011.

Dear Pals,

When I eased the Black Pearl into the parking place on the eastside of Hampton Avenue, the first thing that struck me was, "When did Pietro's add an outside street cafe?"

Obviously things had changed since my last sojourn to the neighborhood of my misspent youth. As I crossed the street, I wondered what other changes awaited inside.

I opened the door and made my way through the crowded bar to the maitre d's station and asked a nice young lady, "Can you direct me to the 50th. Anniversary Resurrection Class Reunion?"

She gestured directly down the hall to a room at the end. 'They're in the room at the end of the hall, here let me take you there."

She must have had prior experiences with direction-asking men of my advanced age and mental condition.

But I retorted, "No need my darling, if COKE ZERO - which is an IQ I share with that brand of soda - can find its way through a straw, I'm sure I can still find my way 30-feet down a straight hallway. But you can tell me where the nearest MENS room is? That would be most helpful."

She obliged and I noted the strategic location - a piece of datum of critical importance since my temporary diuretic medicines make me whizzzzzz like a cow on a flat rock 3,582 times a day. Thank God this medically-induced insanity ends in 61 days.

But who's counting!!

I meandered down the hall and into the room at 07:30 pm CDST and was greeted by the somewhat disorienting, "Hey Birkenmeier came after all." Then another voice chimed in, "Yeah, Birkenmeier's full of shit."

I did not immediately recognize the first Wal-Mart greeter, so I asked, "Are you Marvin Potts?" The response was, "Marvin Potts? I'm Rob Churchill!! I oughta knock you on your ass."

The other voice came from Kirk Latta who had male-bonded with Rob, Dave Schlitt and the Kingsland Court crew eons before. As a matter of fact the very night my grandfather died, I was under Latta's grandmother's back porch skipping a Scout Meeting and smoking cigarettes. But I digress.

I had not seen Kirk since we graduated from Augustinian Academy in 1965 ( FYI: Kirk's Mom Mae was a pal of my mother Rosemary - they did the Irish-wife-mother bonding thing. Kirk's dad was an excellent writer who wrote for Field & Stream among others, he had died suddenly leaving Mae to care for an old-country Irish Grandmother, Kirk and his two drop dead beautiful colleen-sisters.)

The males of South St. Louis often greet each other with bluster and bravado as a way of establishing territoriality and rank in the herd. A greeting like, "Birkenmeier's here and he's full of shit," is akin to a verbal Ram's head butt that echoes down the ravines in those deep spruce woods north of Ouray or Teluride.

I took no offense and told Churchill, "Take your best shot." Then, I made like the Virginian in Owen Wister's classic when the hero said, "When you call me that, smile."

I smiled at Rob and Kirk as I shifted my weight to the balls of my feet with undetected cat-like agility and noted the position of nearby steam table lids that might come in handy should the two bull-men's greeting prove to be a harbinger of fisticuffs.

Fortunately, the bravado was just bravado. I apologized for arriving late - and after exchanging a few good-natured thrusts and parries - I made my way to the buffet and prepared to plate up.

Marvin Potts, Rob Churchill and Yvonne Kadlec had done yeoman duty on the event. I could also see Marv's inspection touch as a retired USAF Master Sergeant. There was a certain military precision to the array of stainless steel food warmers. On each one, at Parade Full Dress Review, stood a brigade of Southside soulfoods.

Meatballs in barbecue sauce stood in lines at attention. (...which I gave them)

Fried chicken strips were lined up. Toasted Ravioli, Poor Boy sandwhiches, Mostaciolli ( or, as my newspaper pals at Creco's in Trenton, NJ call 'em, "Pencil Points") and dinner salad completed the traditional roll call.

Bud, Bud Light, Merlot and Chardonnay were flowing like the River Des Peres in flood season.

I made my way to a table to sit with Marvin Potts and his wife and Fr. Benjamin Owens of the Redemptorists - or Rosicrucians - who was sporting Mardis Gras-style beads and a Hawaiian shirt over his traditional Roman collar...an obviously cultivated and ecclectic look that was a cross between Don Ho, Father No-No and Dr. No.

Benjie's Mom was "Auntie Mame!" and he and I shared many laughs about days that are in our rearview mirrors.  He turned down my invitation to go to The Art Museum after the reunion to continue our revelry. I had a $500 gift card to the VIP Room at an establishment where the works of art move, dance and writhe to modern pulsing rhythms.

But alas, Benjie would have none of it...he was driving a borrowed mini-van that belonged to his brother Wynne, with the decals of 16 kids on the rear window.

I thought Benjie would enjoy seeing SIN up close and personal - it would be like seeing Carol Doda during her heyday in SF's old North Beach. Besides Fr. Owens could hear my confession and grant me absolution before we retraced our route over the Poplar Street Bridge back to moral Missouri.

I guess he did NOT see the obvious-to-me image enhancing value of the headline:

Bay Area Padre In Children's Minivan Arrested With Village Idiot And Seven Nude Dancer-Escorts in Eastside Escapade In VIP Club's Private Party Rumpus Room.

We'll stay in touch.

___________________

This blog could go on endlessly since so many long dormant memories were stimulated by the synaptic firings in the deep reptillian part of my alleged mind, just above the brain stem.

Here's my impression on each of the attendees in the order in which they appeared in the Reunion Brochure thoughtfully compiled by Marv Potts and his wife for the occasion:

Roland Burjeck - he had changed little since last we met. He was my South Spring neighbor. He cheated at step ball because he always kept score and he always won!

He now spells his name Burjeck...I'm sure it was Burject! I still sport a scar on my face from a piece of sheet metal he dropped down an HVAC duct that I was looking up into from the basement of an underconstruction home in whch we were playing. It missed my eye by 1.75 inches.

OSHA was invented because of people like Roland.

Roland married Kathy Matejka and spent most of his career at McDonnell-Douglas doing stuff for the DOD that he can't talk about. It was fun to see my old pal who was arguably the best math-head in the class.

Rob Churchill - Knight of Kingsland Court. He lived next door to now-Cardiologist, Dave Schlitt' MD, who later saved my life. Rob was taller than I remembered. He still possessed his sense of elan and bravado and wore them like chevrons and military honors.

He served our nation in the 199th Light Infantry Brigade during our Viet Nam adventure. I missed that shoot out. So I stand at attention now and salute Rob for his service.

Gerald "Jerry" Clancy - sent in "Flat-Jerry" in the form of his bio. Despite relentless pleas for his 3-D presence, this popular pal and fellow classmate elected to remain in seclusion in the Fortress Of Clancy at an undisclosed location between San Franciso and Santa Clara...or was it San Diego??

Flat Top was missed!

Patricia Degenhart - now a retired RN, Pat is married to Tom a retired school teacher. Pat looked great! Pat still had the twinkle in her eyes, warm smile and joie de vie. I'd love to see the log cabin they've built at Tom's family's touchstone homeplace near Sullivan.

My brother-in-law has a place that sounds like this on a lake near Cadillac, Michigan. It was a ton of fun to talk with Pat...I'm sure she brought a lot of joy and comfort to the patients in her care - she was an RN specializing in Psychiatric and Chemical Dependency.

Frankly, I'm surprised that we had not crossed paths professionally?

Maybe we did.

EST can mess up the memory.

Judy Hercules - was a no-show. She did say she was coming. I was really disappointed. Judy was hysterically funny and quite "out there" for the times, she also had one of the finest set of 8th-Grade boobs and she was Plan B. If Benjie shot craps.

I guess I'll have to wait until the 60th. to see Hercules Of Hydraulic Unchained!!

Kathryn Hoeflinger - The Queen of Pomona Court and Protectress of 39th Street. Kathy looked great. No longer blonde - now sporting an easy-breezy bob. She runs a floral business that provides greenery to offices, hospitals and commercial sites in Atlanta.

She flew for Eastern for many years. I asked her if she had any kids, She said, "No..." I quicky asked if I could be of service. She took it the wrong way. I expect to see out of my left eye sometime next week.

So much for Plan C.

John Hrin - he was the late arrival to our class and came in 7th grade. John had the stud-muffin, Ed "Kooky" Burns mojo working for him. He was a record-setting Jock. Handsome, funny and extremely likeable in a self-effacing way.

He only managed to look serious and studious for 15-minutes in his entire life...that was the day they snapped his 8th grade class photo.

John lit up Marvin Potts with a joke about getting in the Guinness Book of World Records. It was great to see John again. The women gave his wife the Medal Of Honor and Benjie promised to submit the necessary paperwork to have her declared a Saint now!

John will be exhibit A.

Dolores Kreft - Dodo gets my vote for Best Personal Transformation. In her class photo she had a kind of Three Musketeers with bangs hairdo? Today. WOW! She looked reborn in a new improved and even younger than her years tour de fashion force.

They still call her Dodo and Grandma Dodo - 3 girls, 12 grandchildren. Married to Nick Ribaudo for 40 years.

Dodo was a hair stylist for 45-years. Obviously Paul Mitchell and Nick Ribaudo made her into the stunningly stellar new wave Dodo!! Well done 39th Street lady!!

Kirk Latta - The reunion was the first time we talked since 8th Grade. Even though we went through 4-years of high school in the same class. It was good to see Kirk and catch up a bit on his adventures. I always wanted to be Kirk's pal, but never quite measured up to the standards set by the Kingsland Court Cadre. 

I didn't mention our last before-school encounter and neither did he. Best to let sleeping dogs lie.

I really liked Kirk and I loved his Mom and fantasized about his two stunning sisters - I was NOT alone in that activity.

There's been a lot of water past the Arch and last night was a time for fun and camaraderie only. I was honored that Kirk called me and Leo Najbart and Rob Churchill up for a special shot of us as the four Augie Doggies.

All's well that ends well.

Kirk's son Kirk works for my pal Butch Suntrup at their Ford Store on Manchester. He looks a lot like his Dad. Need a Ford...call Kirk Latta at Suntrup Ford.

Yvonne Laurance - my pal from school and from Millikan Publishing where I saw her often when I was designing packaging for Bodie Marx and Tom Millikan. Yvonne looked great. We had corresponded via email often as the reunion approached.

Last night we had a lot of fun and I met her husband who had a rose greenhouse business in Kirkwood. I'm addicted to flowers. His last name Kadlec is the same as my pal Dan Kadlec, who wrote the business and financial columns for the late great St. Louis Sun and now writes for TIME magazine. I'm gonna hook 'em up since there is definitely a St. Louis family conncection.

Yvonne looked beautiful and happy and had a flower in her hair. I think I know the man who put it there. The Kadlec Konnection?

James Leininger - Slap me Suzie! I though I was standing next to Mr.Clean or six-foot bottle of Ban Roll-On until he spoke. I instantly recognized his voice and immediately, without hesitation or permission reached out and rubbed my grubby mitts all over his shiney, well-polished head.

I do this for "good luck."

My pal John Burns, the yacht saleman in Florida, will tell you that this Birk habit goes back many many years. Jim Leinenger is now on the list with John Burns, Jerry Della Femina, Telly Sevallas and Jesse Ventura.

So far...no one has punched me!

I read Jim's bio and discovered that he really is The Six Million Dollar Man!!

Great Flying Zort! The only piece of OEM equipment on him are his eyeballs!! He lives in Arnold - the Meth Capital of the Universe!! But there is no confirmed connection of any kind.

Jimmy - call me and let's have lunch at Bobby's Bistro on Telegraph soon!

Leo Najbart - gets my vote for LEAST CHANGED. Leo went to high school with me, Latta and Churchill. He's just retired. Has those great Norweigan genes going for him. Still has all his own hair, is within 5 lbs of high school weight, has a very lovely wife Cherri, who runs Cherrika's Home and Garden shop in historic Kimmswick. ( I have a deep family connection to Imperial and Kimmswick - and its not the Blue Owl!)

If Leo was not such a great guy...it would be easy to hate anyone so well-preserved!! I confessed that I once had a horrible crush on his sister...but I was so painfully shy and girl-retarded that I never acted on the impulse. When I told Leo this, he looked simultaneously horrified, relieved and happy that nothing ever came of it.

Benjamin Owens - arguably one of the two smartest people in our class - I give Burjeck-Burject the edge in math and science - but Benjie gets the prize in pure intellectual prowess and wonderful people skills.

Benjie has lost his boyish pudginess and morphed into The Wise Theologian...as I have into The Wise Buddha-hahaha. ( This may confirm the Churchill-Latta "Birkenmeier is full of shit" assertion.)

The wily Owens did a lateral arabesque and foiled my plot to lure him into a lurid Lao-Tse lap dance...but, I'll work on him...who knows he might even enjoy discussing the Tao.

He's in my sights!

Marvin Potts - I resisted the impulse to rub Marvin's shiney head. My intuition said that that sector was No Man's Land and that any unauthorized incursion into the PBZ (Potts Bald Zone) would be met with deadly force.

I got the distinct feeling that only his lovely (and deliciously funny) wife Marcie was permitted to frolic atop Mt. Potts.

Thanks to Marv for his long and loyal service to our nation. I'm standing at attention and saluting you!

Frank Reinbold - Semper Fi!

If Frank used Touch of Gray - he'd look just like the Frank of yore. Frank was a really good baseball player and an all 'round good guy who was liked by all.

He was pretty funny too...but, you had to listen close because his wit was quick, dry and cutting! Frank's wife Nancy - who I met for the first time - is very cool and you can see their love and devotion to each other.

Frank wrote one of the nicest sentiments about a wife that I have ever read. It appears in the Reunion bio-book.

Frank worked at Sigma...we'll have to explore that connection to see if he knew Tom Cori or Tom Tallarico. Sigma makes my favorite product: Psuedo-Corpse. It smells just like a dead body!! How cool is that? It's used to train search and rescue dogs...it even works underwater.

I wear a splash of it behind my ears on Halloween.

One whiff will part The Red and Dead Seas...and any 12-deep at the bar crowd in the CWE!

Cathy Schneblin -  we had lunch at Robust one day before the reunion. Somehow in my oblivious state I missed the fact that she and Bill were an "item."

Since I was going stag because my wife, Loring Van Slyck was in Michigan, I offered to pick Cathy up in Kirkwood and make the swing in 44 to Pietro's.

This was a minor source of embarrassment that I sloughed off like a layer of snakeskin.

Doh!

Barb Singleton - actually reminded me of my wife Loring. Same well-proportioned athletic build and youthful look that belies the "rings on the trunk" if you know what I mean.

Plus! Get this! Barb is a Personal Trainer who works in her home in Greenbriar - where Loring and I lived for many years at 139 Sweetbriar.

Barb was at BJC in Heath Promotion and Marketing for 10-years. I'll bet we know dozens of people through the BJC-Jewish-Childrens-WU and Central Institute for the Deaf networks.

Eileen Voight - Is Bob Schindler the luckiest guy in the world? Or what! Eileen is so statuesque and charming and graceful in the most correct and feminine sense of the word.

I discovered that Frank Reinbold's wife is her cousin and kind of a "mini" version of Eileen.

Happiness radiates and resonates from Eileen. Always did. Always will.

Ken Weis - a very close second to Leo Najbart in the Least Changed Dept. Ken is no kin to my pal John "Two-S" Weiss of Weissprice.com -need a Volvo or Toyota...see John Weiss...The Weiss Price is very nice.

For a great Catholic education see Ken Weis. Life long teacher and principal in the Parochial School System. He also spent time during his military service in Berchtesgarden, Germany (Hitler's Alpine Retreat and part of Germany's National Redoubt).

He and his lovely wife Nanc have shared the teaching experience and I'm sure many knuckleheads have benefited from their "Weisdom" and nicedom.

Norbert Schneider - It was fun to see Norbert, who is with the USPS in Tempe, Arizona. I thought he had become a priest like Benjie, but he opted out of that path for the USPS. In Tempi no less!! Which is like being in USPS heaven. We caught up just ever so briefly - but I'll get Norbert's email and well connect the dots.

I resisted the temptation to regale Norbert with my extensive repartee of "Goin' Postal Jokes." The Glock-shaped buldge under his shirt set off a Def-Con 5 Birk Alert!

Nancy Wood - if she was there...I missed her. I remember her as being a very shy girl. She was kinda the Anti-Judy Hercules.

Barb Norath - was MIA too - I had a Mugambo-cheetah thing for Barb - but she "scared me" - she was one awe inspiring babe! If she'd have given me the time of day or snapped her fingers, or whip...well, I might be Mr. Norath today.

Ahhh...the twists and turns of life.

It's like riding a cross between The Screaming Eagle and a Tilt-A-Whirl.

As they say in the amusement park business...the ride's not over til "The Fat Lady Flings!"

_____________________

 

So what happened last night after the reunion?

Did I go to the eastside to rock, roll and  revel til the dawn's early light in the VIP Room at the Penthouse Club in Sauget?

The answer is:

A) YES...with Sugar 'n Spice...it was soooooo nice

B) NO...went straight home and to bed by 10:30 pm

C) "Birkenmeier is full of shit."

D) None of the Above

Thanks for the memories and the mammaries,

Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of The Republic

PS: I did finish the trip down Memory Lane and had a little nightcap and thought fond thoughts of Bill "Willy" McLoughlin, Charolette Hrebec, Susan Peters and Carol Travis, my friend who lived just up the block from my boyhood castle keep at 4436 South Spring Avenue, St. Louis, Missouri 63116.

Stay in touch dear classmates!

FYI: Sugar 'n Spice were very nice...: ) 

Remember what countless women have written on Powder Room stall walls from San Francisco to St. Louis to Dublin to Cairo to London to Nieuw Vennep.

"See Birk for a really good crime!"

My St. Louis-based PSI-quantum crime thrillers: SHOE TOWN and DOUBLE WHAMMY are out on Amazon and Kindle now!      

The next book in The Berkshire Chronicles - MEL'S HOLE - will be out in December 2011 - just in time to ruin the holidays!  

If you enjoy mischief, mayhem, gratuitous sex-capading and lots of bloody murders, The Berkshire Chronicles will be right up your alley. They will make you gasp as they scare your pants off...and on...and off again!

If you'd like to appear as a "colorful character" in an upcoming book like Skinker Stinkers or Delmar  Looped...let me know!

You can be yourself or let me name a fictional fantasy character in your dishonor

But you have to fill out an e-release that I'll send you!

Maybe I'll see you at Picadilly at Manhattan - Google it for a great time!

PS 2: It is Resurrection not Res-erection...nor is there any truth whatsoever to the viscious rumor about Marv being the little peter tweeter.

Hrin made that up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Thoughts Of One Ordinary Citizen On HOW TO STOP THE KILLINGS In St. Louis Today...Not Someday.

             C.L.E.A.N. U.P. ST. LOUIS

I asked an Alderman on facebook this question: "What is being done to STOP the killings in St. Louis now? What's the plan?"

Instead of getting a thoughtful answer, I was scolded by the Alderman, buck-passed to the Mayor and then ridiculed by the Alderman's facebook pals and personally attacked as "ranting" "unhelpful' "loon" among other things.

Okay, attack the messenger and the questioner - me. I have a hide like a Rhino.

I kept asking them - "What is being done to STOP the killings in St. Louis now? What's the plan?"

No answers came. Only more verbal criticism. And the Alderman went mute and MIA on the facebook exchange page. I guess he's only there to crow and be lauded. No serious questions please.

So, since the Alderman and his facebook pals didn't have any answers, I decided to take a whack at the issue and see how I'd try to answer the question: "What is being done to STOP the killings in St. Louis now? What's the plan?"

I'm very focused. I'll take the brickbats and the personal pot shots. The Alderman likes to crow about all he's doing - and he's doing many good things. I tip my hat to him. This is not about him or me. This is not a Northside or Southside or City or County issue. It's not about being black or white or brown or clear.

This is a transcendent issue for our entire HOMETOWN.

It is only about answering: "What is being done to STOP the killings in St. Louis now? What's the plan?"

As the Bud Light boys say, "Here we go!"

 RESEARCH INFORMATION: St. Louis Ranked as MOST Dangerous City In America.

http://specials.msn.com/A-List/Lifestyle/Most-Dangerous-Cities-in-America.aspx?cp-documentid=28135840&imageindex=21

 http://www.stlamerican.com/news/local_news/article_7a896a3a-29a1-11e0-b19d-001cc4c03286.html

  http://www.stltoday.com/news/multimedia/html_b1ea1c08-2411-11e0-96a8-0017a4a78c22.html

 PART ONE:   10 COMMONSENSE PRINCIPLES OF AGREEMENT:

 1. The life safety of all area citizens – without exception - is Priority One.

 2. The Constitution speaks of “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

 3. Anyone who imperils the life of any citizen also inhibits the citizen’s personal liberty and pursuit of happiness. That is a fundamental violation of Constitutional human rights.

 4. Street corner shootings, drive-by shootings and armed criminal violence is a major and growing problem that negatively impacts 18 and 19-year olds who are killing each other as they are killing the image and reputation of the entire Metropolitan area.

 5. No sensible person or family wants to live in any area where killings are a fact of daily life.

6. No business or organization wants to set up shop and work in any area where killings are a fact of daily life.

 7. No Police Department can be everywhere. 

8. All Police Departments need the help of every law-abiding citizen.

9. The full force of collaborative law enforcement extends beyond city boundaries and beyond the sole purview of local Police Departments - it must include the Federal Marshals Service,the DEA, IRS, the FBI and the licensing and revenue collection departments of all municipalities, counties and the State.

10. Before we can attract families and businesses to our great Metropolitan Area, we must have safe streets, safe modern neighborhoods with a variety of affordable homes, safe schools and quality teachers.

Do you agree?

If not why not?

 

PART TWO: MISSION, STRATEGY AND TACTICS

MISSION: To Stop The Killings In The Metropolitan St. Louis Area Now by establishing a ZERO Tolerance initiative to permanently eliminate armed criminal action with particular emphasis on crime zones with an independently-documented history of having Murderers In Our Midst.

STRATEGY: To immediately deploy Collaborative Law Enforcement Actions Now (C.L.E.A.N.) in an approach that focuses the efforts of many different forms of law and ordinance enforcement as it simultaneously deploys new technology, ordinary citizens and public safety and government officials from many government departments.

TACTICS: To employ the full force of our Metropolitan Community and all of its law enforcement and ordinances, taxing and licensing authorities in a panoramic area-wide approach of Collaborative Law Enforcement Actions Now ( CLEAN ) to assure the safety of ordinary citizens by rapidly and permanently eliminating The Murderers in our Midst.

VISION: C.L.E.A.N. is the essential stabilizing activity necessary to prepare the ground space to create a safe climate, crime-mitigated environment and geographical space and opportunity for Urban Prosperity and Urban Progress (U.P.) to occur as led by the private corporate, entrepreneurial small business, educational and public sectors.

 PART THREE: LET’S MAKE A DEAL - THE CHOICES FOR THE CRIMINALS

Since ZERO TOLERANCE of thugs, crime, drugs and guns is a good idea for our Public, Private and Magnet schools, hospitals, public and government facilities and businesses, it will now become the policy and standard operating procedure on the streets and in every neighborhood, with special emphasis on high crime areas.

DOOR NUMBER 1: Come CLEAN - Become a law abiding HUMAN BEING – surrender your illegal unlicensed guns and immediately desist your involvement in all criminal activity.

18 or 19 or 40 is way too young to die. Make a CLEAN fresh start. If you need help we have plenty of agencies and programs and really good people available to help you rejoin the civilized community.

We will have a ONE WEEK long No Questions asked Gun Turn In Event. That will be your chance to give it up and man up. It is a chance to change your life and save your life. Guns would be turned in at any Community Center or to ministers in a community Sanctuary setting.

We sincerely hope that all current participants will avail themselves of this opportunity to make a sincere life change.18, 19, 24, 40 is way too young to die. There is a way out of the criminal lifestyle.

There is a path that will take you from being a Negative Loser to a Life Changing transformation to being a Positive Winner. Many people are here to help you get on and stay on the right track.

Turn to LOVE. Start by honoring the value of your own life.

As a famous Vulcan once said, “Live long and prosper!”

DOOR NUMBER 2: Stay DIRTY and LEAVE TOWN – persist in your current criminal lifestyle somewhere else far away from the Metropolitan Area. There is no safe haven here. No gang zones. No safe houses. No turf. No 'hoods for hoods.

All that is over.

This is St. Louis, love it or leave it - and don’t let the door hit you in the derrière on the way out. Farewell! Adios! Goodbye!

DOOR NUMBER 3: Feel The Power Of The St. Louis Community's Brotherly Love.

We will protect you from yourself and from your fellows and other competing criminals. We can’t guard every law-abiding citizen, but we can protect you from harm since you are at high risk to be killed or injured because of your DIRTY lifestyle.

In the simplest terms - CLEAN is good. DIRTY is bad.

THE MESSAGE TO THE MOST ENDANGERED PEOPLE IN OUR MIDST: THE CRIMINALS WHO HAVE A PROPENSITY TO GUN VIOLENCE.

We know who you are.

We know where you live.

We know what you drive.

We know where you go.

We know where you hangout.

We know what you do.

We know you are at a higher risk of being shot and killed than most citizens.

We want to make sure you stay very safe and alive.

PART FOUR: SOME SPECIFIC IDEAS WORTH CONSIDERING FOR THE UNREPENTANT OFFENDER WHO DECIDES TO STAY HERE AND PERSIST IN THE ENDANGERMENT OF GOOD PEOPLE:

1.HIGH BAIL JAIL - FULL CASH ONLY - for felony offenders. This will help end the “In-Out-Back-On-The-Street Revolving-Door” of easy breezy Bail Bonding. Support the tough love Judges.

2. LEGAL COUNSEL SPOTLIGHT - Publish photos and identify criminal attorneys on a special Citizen’s HOMETOWN Safety News website. We will do this as a public service should any citizen be so unfortunate as to have need for the services of an experienced criminal defense attorney.

We will develop a BOX SCORE to rate criminal defense attorneys  by a variety of legal metrics based on their number of cases, ability to effectively represent their clients and obtain plea bargains, releases and favorable outcomes. Folks need to know who these highly-skilled criminal defense attorneys are.

 3. If you violate any gun laws we will bring the full force of law enforcement to bear on you. If you want to exercise the citizen's right to keep and bear arms, you will need to comply with all laws and have a CLEAN legal record and legal gun registration permit and will have to take a gun safety course.

Any gun violation means prosecution to the fullest extent of the law and the seeking of maximum sentencing as prescribed by law. No plea bargains. No deals. ZERO Tolerance.

 4. If you are caught violating a law and are in possession of a large amount of cash that tests positive for drug residue or that is not attributable to taxable legal income activity, we will bring in the DEA, IRS and the Tax Collection Authorities of the local municipalities and the State of Missouri for a full investigation.

 Say, “Hello!” to the guys that got Al Capone.

 5. If you are identified as a POINT-OF-SALE of any retail thing or service, we will expect you to have all proper municipal vendor licenses and to pay all attendant fees and local sales taxes and the City Earnings Taxes.

 6. If stopped by the Police for any moving violation - and you decide to “gun and run with law enforcement” – that is a crime career-ending move.

 You are done. Finis. Kaput.

If you escape from a "gun and run" situation - keep running and when you get to the Atlantic, Pacific, Gulf of Mexico or Hudson’s Bay start swimming and don’t come back.

7. High Tech and High Touch: We will use Camera’s On The Corner to help protect you and other people in the area.

If we can observe Traffic Offenders and catch them for making an illegal right turn from Skinker into Forest Park on a remote surveillance camera, then we can certainly monitor the High Crime Corners and dispatch law enforcement officers to investigate any suspicious activity observed there or reported by the citizens to the Neighborhood Watch Hotline.

8. Operation Halo of Brotherly Love by the new SPU – we will create a 24/7/365 Special Protection Unit for people who are at high risk of being shot at by Murderers In Our Midst.

The SPU would be composed of highly-experienced and well-trained volunteers such as retired Police Officers and Police Reserve Officers, clergy and well-trained Ordinary Citizens who will work in round-the-clock 3-person teams to accompany you and keep you safe every day.

We will ask community groups, churches, civic organizations and businesses to “Sponsor SPU shifts” so as not to financially burden already fiscally strapped municipal or county budgets.

 We want you to stay safe and healthy and to be at liberty to pursue happiness.

We Love you...there is a way to a safe, good and productive life.

Think of your SPU as your personal band of Guardian Angels.

 THE SPECIAL PROTECTION UNIT THEME SONG (with apologies to Sting and The Police)

 We even have a theme song that we can sing while the SPU is protecting you.

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every break you take
Every step you make
We'll be protecting you.

Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
We'll be protecting you.

Every move you make
Every drug you take
Every smile you make
Every finger you shake
We'll be protecting you.

 SUMMARY:

OVERARCHING PRINCIPLES FOR GUIDANCE

 Work for the highest good of all.

 Where one finds HATE. Stand up for LOVE.

 Where one finds LIES. Stand up for TRUTH.

 Where one finds DEATH. Stand up for LIFE.

 Where one finds DIVISIVENESS. Stand up for UNITY.

 If not you? Who?

 If not now? When?

 YOUR TURN: These are the ideas of one ordinary citizen…what are yours?

If some ideas won’t work as presented, could they be tweaked or recast to work?

Okay, my fellow ordinary citizens of our HOMETOWN, please weigh in with your own ideas, comments and insights.

 Let’s get a solid plan for C.L.E.A.N. and then let’s get together and get the job done, and move U.P. with Urban Progress, Urban Prosperity...from that will flow a renaissance in Urban Pride and Urban Passion.

Crime flight from the City will end (It was down 9% in last census).

 Let’s work together to STOP THE KILLING IN ST. LOUIS TODAY…NOW...not someday.

During my debate with the Alderman's pals, one man wrote:

"All I can do is keep my side of the street clean."

He is absolutely right. It starts with each one of us.

If we all adopt his positive attitude and make a CLEAN Sweep of crime on all sides of the street we can go from Broom Town to Boom Town.

St. Louis' best and brightest days lie ahead, of that I'm sure.

I'm still Sold on St. Louis!

Are you?

 Birk, Commonsensetarian and Citizen of the Republic

________________________________________

SUPPLEMENTAL THINKING ON ORGANIZATIONAL DEVELOPMENT, PEOPLE POWER AND LOGISTICS:

 365 days x 24 hours = 8760 hours in 1 year.

Top 20 At Special Risk Human Beings (SRHBs)

 20 x 8760 hours = 175,200 hours to help protect SRHBs’ neighborhoods

 175,000 hrs./3-8hr shifts = 58,400 - 8 hr.shifts

 58,400 8 hr.shifts/Top 20 = 2920 8 hr. shifts per each SRHB’s neighborhood per year

 THE 21^st CENTURY SPECIAL PROTECTION LEGION OF ST. LOUIS

 Organized like a Roman Legion.

 1 Decade Unit = 10 people organized in 3-Trinity Units of 3-volunteers each with 1 Reserve Alternate to fill in as needed. The 4 volunteers are self-selecting.

 10 Decade Units = 100 people in a Century with a Centurion leader

 300 Century Units = 3000 people = 1 Legion

 Legion = 3000 people

ASSIGNMENT RATIO: 100 people for each SRHB and neighborhood is a 100 good people for each 1 SRHB, a ratio of 100:1  

VOLUNTEER COMMITMENT NEEDED:

Each of the Top 20 Special Risk Human Beings are assigned 1 Century or 100 people.

Top 20 SRHB x 100 = 2000 volunteers/4 people = 500 Trinity Units on the Streets

3000 volunteers in The Legion minus the 2000 volunteers deployed to the Top 20 SRHB areas leaves 1000 volunteers or 10 Centurys in reserve for Mobile Units, assignment to other SRHBs or for a Reserve Relief Volunteer Pool to supplement the 500 Trinity Units deployed.

2920 8-hr. shifts per SRHB divided by 1 Century (100 people) = 29.2 - 8 hr. shifts per volunteer per year (233.6 hours/volunteer/year). A little less than 30 days of annual commitment.

 Please check these numbers – “mathematics has never been my long suit!”

HOW TO ORGANIZE A TRINTY UNIT

 Each Trinity Unit has 4 people – 3 on-shift duty volunteers with 1 reserve/alternate

I want to invite 2 retired city policemen and 1 retired Episcopal priest to join me to form the “Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Spice – Everything’s Nice Trinity.”

Charter Rule I. This is an all ordinary citizen organization – no politicians in charge.

Volunteers will be trained and organized with the assistance of a collaborative alliance drawn from existing community organizations, private sector businessses, the area clergy, the St. Louis Police Department, FBI, DEA and Federal Marshalls.

The organization will select its own Centurion and Legion leadership from a slate of nominees and elected to 2-year terms by secret ballot. They will select an ad hoc committee to write the formal Charter of Organization and Principles.

The organization will become 3000 eyes and ears on the streets of St. Louis - "Neighborhood Noticers" deployed to protect the most high risk people in the most high risk neighborhoods.

EQUIPMENT NEEDED:

We’ll need used or new mini-vans, cel phones or PDAs

Hats and Jackets

Logistical support equipment

Volunteer support assistance

POTENTIAL OFFICIAL SPONSORS OF THE 21^ST CENTURY PROTECTION LEGION OF ST. LOUIS FOR OPERATION C.L.E.A.N. U.P. ST. LOUIS. 

• 21^st Century Realtors – creating a protected and prosperous city
• ATT or Verizon for phones
• BP for min-van or car gas
• All State for mini-van vehicle and driver insurance
• Discount Dining Cards for on-duty volunteers -Schnucks/Culinaria, McDonalds, Dunkin’ Donuts Hardees, KFC, Pizza Hut, Papa Johns, Subway, IMOs and any independent restaurants
• Ford, GM, Chevy, Toyota, Nissan, ERAC and all other car dealers mini-van/car loaners or contributors – with dealer ID on vehicles indicating contributing sponsor.
• Volunteer Jackets – Wells Fargo Financial Advisors
• Volunteer Hats – Ed Jones
• Fox Theatre or Kiel Opera House– for meeting venue use
• BJC or Cintas – for emergency medical kits and volunteers
• Leading St. Louis Banks and Insurance Brokerages– funding a group life insurance and medical policy pool for volunteers while on-duty
• Dobbs Tire, Midas, Jiffy Lube and others – for volunteer van maintenance and repairs
• Coke, Pepsi and Dr. Pepper/7UP – soda, waters and teas for volunteers on duty
• Copying Concepts, DataMax, OfficeMax, Xerox – for office equipment and supplies
• Others may become involved as they see fit to contribute – the more the merrier…coffee vendors, shoe stores, and many local retailers and service providers can pitch in with discounts for volunteers.
• Ameren UE and Laclede Gas for HQ energy

We need a modest HQ facility with fenced and protected vehicle storage yard with parking lot for volunteer cars while on shift and small check-in and check-out office in the City…a sort of "Den of Positive Community Energy" from which the Legion could operate – maybe a University building, empty space in an office park/strip mall or fraternal order temple, office building, abandoned church or community center or old Armory...a facility in the 40/64 corridor east of Kingshighway is ideal.

All supporting sponsors will be listed with links on the organization’s website. Baby Boomers and young vigorous retirees are most welcome!

Many hands make light lifting.

Care to lend a hand to C.L.E.A.N. U.P. St. Louis?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO FORWARD THIS THOUGHT-STARTER ON TO ALL YOUR PALS. HAVE THEM WEIGH IN ON THE ISSUES WITH THEIR IDEAS AND INSIGHTS.

 

Reflections Of A River Lover On A Sunny Sunday Apple Butter Run, Up The Great River Road.

 

 

 

This River Road Reflection was written by T. J. Birkenmeier

of St. Louis after a ride in his “Red Baby” up The Great River Road

from Alton to Grafton and beyond on a sunny Sunday, August 15, 2010

 

 

 

 

SOME PEOPLE CALL ME, “LIMESTONE CLIFF”

 

 

 

I’m easy to spot and even easier

To miss when you pass me by

As you drive north looking for the place where

The Illinois dances with The Father of Waters

 

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

 

I sit in stony silence

A lone sentinel above The Great River Road

That follows a channel cut by the currents of centuries

I watch the tows and barges

Struggle north and glide south

 

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

 

 

I have seen red men fishing here

Three thousand years before

Jesus’ Pere Marquette

And the Black Robes came

 

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

I’ve seen the flatboat polers of Lewis and Clark

I’ve watched the lone trappers going to

And returning from the roiling beaver brooks

In the West’s High Lonesome

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

I’ve seen paddlewheelers - both side and stern

Riding low with goods and gamblers

I’ve listened with the pilot Clemens

For the call, “Mark Twain…safe water”

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

I watch the bounty of the land’s grain

Moving to The Big Easy and the world

Below me roars a Harley peloton of pony-tailed

Patriots with tattooed gal pals embracing

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

I look north to Elsa, Chautauqua,

Grafton, Brussels and beyond

I look south to locks, elevators and

Stacks of power plants, factories and mills

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

I see a white stone lady across the waves

Where Sioux once found portage

Today she blesses river revelers’ boats

And river lovers' raucous lives

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

I’ve seen the Piasa bird and heard

Its fearsome shriek as

It sweeps low on clear

Moonlit nights

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

I was here before the land was born

And the inland sea receded

To gift America with these

Fertile heartland bottoms

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

Some call me “Palisades”…too pompous

Some call me “Bluff”…too flippant

Some call me “Limestone Cliff”…

I reckon I can live with that

 

 

I’m the lookout

I’m the outlooker

Above it all

Amid it all

 

 

I’m here where I’ve always been

And, I’ll be here watching the River

When all have passed and passed on

 

 

I am the River Watcher

I am the lookout

I am the outlooker

 

 

Look up trail riders and as you pass

Catch a fleeting glimpse from your bike

Look up to see only God watching over me

In that respect we are alike

 

_____________________________

RIVERLOVERS UNITE!

 

If you're a River Lover please support The Riverkeeper St. Louis Confluence

Your tax deductible contribution will help pay for the independent laboratory testing of water samples taken from the Missouri, Illinois and Mississippi Rivers above and below St. Louis.

 

CLEAN WATER IS ESSENTIAL TO

THE LIFE AND RIVERS YOU LOVE!

 

Captain Mike Bush
St. Louis Confluence Riverkeeper
8816 Manchester Rd. #301
St. Louis, MO 63144
314-567-3900
Toll Free: 877-567-3955
Fax: 314-567-3900
stlriverkeeper@sbcglobal.net
www.stlriverkeeper.org

Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! To Everyone Who Helped St. Louis Kids Kick In And Go To Bat For The Kids Of Haiti!

Dear Pals,

When Haiti was rocked by a 7.0 earthquake...thousands of kids lost their homes, their families and all their earthly belongings. Who could stand idly by in the face of that kind of suffering?

Out of that awful situation, a few folks got together and started St. Louis Kids Kick In And Go To Bat For The Kids Of Haiti. It was an all-volunteer, opt-in coalition of the willing. Everyone was asked to just do what they wanted to do to help.

We had one meeting. Everything else we did by phone and emails.

We had a simple plan. Collect sporting goods from the kids and familes of St. Louis for the kids of Haiti. Kid to Kid. Family to Family. Blessed children to children who had lost so much.

We  had a simple objective. The kids of Haiti had lost their homes and many had lost their entire families...we resolved that they could not be allowed to lose their childhoods.

We never had a bank account.

We never had a formal steering committee.

It was just a grass roots get 'er done effort that used Classic Beer Wagon Marketing with an all-star team of "Clydesdales!"

Here's the list of champions who need to be Thanked!

The Wheelhorses: John Capps, Chris Wright

The Drivers: Greg Slack and Jim Regna

The Pulling Horses: John Weiss, John Sinclair, Lou Fusz, Butch Suntrup

The Turning Horses: Craig Suntrup, David Sinclair.

The Lead Horses: Mark Reardon, John Carney, Paul Harris, Nancy Long, Amber Branson and St. Louis University Soccer.

The Wagon Loaders: Casey Krebs, Ron Grubbs, Kate Muldoon, Matt Saunders, Terry Travis, Arlene Maminta, Mandy Pica, Susie Land, Sara Frieberger, Kim Kener, John Stamm, Bridget Brown, Bob O'Neil, Debbie Capps, Dick Ulett, Mike Sneden, Bob Dubinsky, Rick Steinberg, Mike Indelicato, Deeds Bonham, Jason Tessmer, David Sextro, Eliot Ulett, Kelly Roussin, Larry Hanneke, Kay Goding, Shawn Fogle, Steve Marsh, Jack Galmiche and Loring Van Slyck.

The Queen of Packing: Deborah Hostetter and her fabulous Project Inc. Team

FLAG SHIP SPONSERS:

Special Thanks to Royal Carribean Cruise Lines for getting the goods to the kids of Haiti and providing an incentive for contributors.

Special Thanks to Rawlings Sporting Goods who immediately contributed a container full of new sample sporting goods.

SPECIAL KUDOS TO: Sacred Heart Academy, St. Catherine Laboure, Lou Fusz Soccer, Scott Gallagher Soccer and Vetta Soccer Centers.

To Shawn Fogle and The Composing Room! - The Speed Kings!

To Larry Hanneke of Hanneke Silk Screen Products - The Frisbee King!

GENEROUS TV AND RADIO SUPPORT FROM: The Arbor Group, New World Post Productions and the whole gang at Clayton Studios for fast action on radio and TV PSAs

SPECIAL MEDIA THANKS FOR RUNNING PSA ANNOUNCEMENTS: Charter Cable, KSDK-TV, KMOX, KTRS, 101ESPN, The St. Louis Post Dispatch and DDA Outdoor.

LOGISTICS SUPPORT: Affton Trucking and Intermodal, Sunset Logistics, CB-Trabue/CB-Kramer

CAR DEALER AND OTHER COLLECTION POINTS: Plaza Motors, Weiss Brentwood Volvo, Suntrup Automotive Group, Lou Fusz Automotive Group, Dave Sinclair Automotive Group, Triad Bank, Robust Wine Bar and Cafe, Mandy's Candies, WaterWays Car Washes, Weiss Toyota of South County.

PERSONAL TIP OF THE HAT TO: Executive Sous Chef Matt Birkenmeier of The Liberty of The Seas, who was the catalyst for the effort - because he first told us of what he had seen and what tragic personal losses that his Haitian friends on the crew of The Liberty were going through. He became our man in Haiti.

Matt, thanks for all the photos, many radio interviews and inspiring stories about the crew of The Liberty and all of great people, who are Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines and for the outstanding medical and logistical support that RCCL stepped up to give so quickly, so willingly and so unselfishly to the people of Haiti.

St. Louis Kids Kick In And Go To Bat For The Kids Of Haiti was all done without permission and without government help and without a staff.

It was an all VOLUNTEER truly grassroots effort on the part many good-hearted people in St. Louis, who are never ones to stand idly by when people - especially kids - are in danger, pain and distress.

God Bless You One And All!!!

Warmest personal regards,

The Spotted Dog

Will The New Madrid Fault Start To Quiver And Quake? Will The Father Of Waters Shimmy And Shake? Is Jim Bergland Right? Are You A River Lover?

Dear Pals,

We are now in the middle of a 28-day danger window -14-days on either side of a total eclipse of the Sun - and a planetary alignment that brings the Moon closest to earth.

That means the gravitational pull will be stronger on the earth tides and the land mass. According to seismologist Jim Bergland, this is a time when earthquakes are more likely to occur.

Well, since I sit on top of the New Madrid Fault, which is "long over due" according to many earthquake watchers including those at St. Louis University. I keep an eye on news like this.

The last time the New Madrid Fault really started to rock and roll way back in 1811, it made church bells ring as far away as Washington, DC and it made the Mighty Mississippi, The Father Of Waters, turn tail and flow northward for several days.

That event permanently altered the course of the Mississippi river and created Reelfoot lake. Well, here we sit, fat, dumb and happy 199 years later.

It's all tied in you know...rivers, fault lines, gravity and even the water you and I drink and the fish and seafood we eat from fresh and salt water. So we need to be good stewards of the life giving earth that we blissfully traipse around on.

Mark Twain once observed, when talking about the Missouri,  “the water is too thick to drink, and too thin to plow."  So it seems even Mother Nature fouls the water as part of the natural order of things. But, that doesn't mean than man can.

Today, my friend Capt. Mike Bush patrols our confluence rivers (Mississippi/Missouri/Illinois) taking water samples to monitor water quality.  SEE Test Results at www.stl.riverkeeper.org

Capt. Mike is the RIVERKEEPER of the St. Louis Confluence. The St. Louis Confluence monitors water quality on a 25-mile stretch of river up the Misssissippi to the Missouri River as far as St. Charles on the west, up the Illinois on the East beyond the Alton Basin and down river past St. Louis well into Jefferson County.

Capt Mike pilots the Safety Valve, his dory-style boat to collect water samples at 26 sites. These samples ar then analyzed by an independent testing lab and posted online and distributed to media as part of the Riverkeepers water quality and public education missions.

Capt. Mike just returned from a conference of Riverkeepers from around the world held in Mexico. The organization dates back to its genesis under the wings of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who founded the first RIVERKEEPER organization to clean up and restore the freshwater fishing industry on the Hudson. Tbe effort was emminently successful and today RIVERKEEPERS span the globe.

Of late, high flood waters have kept Capt. Mike from his appointed rounds, so he's anxious to get back out there to keep the water quality tracking study going. If you'd like to help The Riverkeeper St. Louis Confluence, you can do it by becoming a RIVER LOVER...just send a tax deductible check for $25.00 USD to this 501(c)3 in care of:

___________________

Mike Bush, Riverkeeper

St. Louis Confluence Riverkeeper

8816 Manchester Rd. #301

St. Louis, MO 63144

_______________________

You'll get a cool surprise that we call a "Kiss and A Hug!" by return mail as a Thank You!

Now, will we have an earthquake here in the next few weeks? Jim Bergland says we're all in the window of opportunity - thanks to the prevailing planetary alignments.

Is our number up?

Will it be 3.2, 5.4 or a 7.5 Arch shaker and tooth rattler here in St. Louis?

And what about down river in places like Memphis, Vicksburg, Jackson, Baton Rouge and New Orleans? The New Madrid Fault is deeply and profoundly connected geophysically all the way to the Gulf and beyond. We all know what's going on down there.

I wonder if Mother Earth's name is really Barbara Ann...and we'll all soon be rockin' and reelin' Barbara Ann! Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Babara Ann!

Birk, Commonsensetarian, Citizen of the Republic, a Mob of One and Sage sans Snuggie for Summer

PS: In the interest of full disclosure, I am a RIVER LOVER! And a member of The Board Of Directors of The Riverkeeper St. Louis Confluence 501(c)3.

Please become a RIVER LOVER too!

Help pay for the water testing, lab work, boat fuel, insurance and maintenance to keep this important water quality monitoring work going.

NO OTHER ORGANIZATION or government entity does it.

Visit www.stlriverkeeper.org learn about the water quality work being done here.

Become a Crew Member RIVER LOVER for $25.00/yr - 6 cents a day.

Become a First Class RIVER LOVER for $50.00/yr - 12 cents a day

Become a First Mate RIVER LOVER for $100.00/yr - 28 cents a day

Become a Master RIVER LOVER for $365.00/yr - $1.00 a day

Please encourage every person you know who is concerned about water quality to become a RIVER LOVER.

If you become a Corporate Level RIVER LOVER for $1000.00 or more, you can come along on the Safety Valve and help Capt. Mike take the water samples and then follow the process all the way through the lab.

Become a RIVER LOVER today...and we'll send you a special "Kiss and a Hug" by return mail as a Thank You! Plus, the entire Board Of Directors will personally hug you!

The Secret Of Obama's Success, Revisited, And An O-man Omen For Our Own O-man. We Can Plug The Unconstrained Flow Of Dough In 2010 And Start The Serious Clean-Up in 2012.

Dear Pals,

This blog of October 25, 2009 is worth revisiting, although this seems like eons ago...

http://birkblog.typepad.com/my_weblog/2009/10/mass-hypnosis-the-secret-of-obamas-success-and-how-mass-awakening-will-vanquish-him.html

Birk, Commonsensetarian, Citizen of the Republic, Mob of One. In the buff, ruff, tuff and takin' no guff.

PS: Here's my favorite poem. I think it is the harbinger of things to come for my arrogant and condescending President Barack Hussein Obama, it's an O-man omen for our own O-man.

Ozymandias

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

__________________________________

Obama says, "The BP Gulf Oil spill is a disaster of unparalled proportions."

I say, "So were the last Presidential and Congessional elections."

Thank God, unless martial law is declared, we can plug the outflow of cash mess with the elections of 2010 and 2012 and, start the clean-up and damage to the USA right away.

See you in the voting line...or the Gulag.

Types Of Women: Puma, Cougar, Eastern, Northern, Western, Southern And Preplexing. Lilith To Eve. May Dodd To Demi Moore. Carrie Nation To Sandra Bullock. Helen Of Troy To Oprah Winfrey. Believing Is Seeing. And Seeing Is Believing, Believe You Me!

http://www.harpersbazaar.com/magazine/cover/demi-moore-cover-interview-0410?link=emb&dom=msn_ent&src=syn&con=art&mag=har

Dear Pals,

Women.

Adam's Rib.

The better half.

The old ball and chain.

The love of my life.

Mother Nature.

Mother Earth.

Mama Mia.

The Last of The Red Hot Mama's. (Sophie Tucker...Reddi-Whip heir Ron Green's Lakeshore Drive Shrine to his dear Auntie)

Mama Cass.

Dr. Mom.

Dr. Ruth.

Judge Judy.

Aunt Jemimah.

Betty Crocker.

Mrs. Butterworth.

Mrs. Fields.

Lady Chatterly.

Catherine The Great.

Mae West

Marilyn Monroe.

Marlienne Dietrich.

Carly Simon.

June Cleaver.

Lizzie Borden.

Ellsie Borden.

Norma Desmond.

Megyn Kelly ****

Julie Banderas *****!

Harrison Faulkner ****

Greta Van Susteren*****!!

Women...mysterious mates, masters and mistresses. Mystical, magical marvelous creatures that simultaneously delight, charm, disarm, disable and dominate every man from Adam to Tiger and beyond.

Many see their Mission in life as being Lady Lexus and engaging in the relentless pursuit of the perfection of their husband/spouse/man/boyfiend/Bill O'Reilly.

It's been true since the snake and apple incident. Delilah got Samson to bring the house down. Bonnie took Clyde on a wild ride. Helen's face launched a thousand ships. Rosie and Rosanne's launched a million quips. Ellen and Ann made a splash for a while. Darryl Hanna and Tom Hanks made a Splash too.

I've been thinking a lot about men and women lately. James Thurber wrote about The War Between Men and Women. (aka, the other civil war). Jim Fergus wrote about May Dodd, one of the fictious "trail-order" brides sent to the American Indians, in his thought-provoking 1000 White Women.

Rossiland Russell and Joan 'Mommy Dearest" Crawford made gossip and sparks fly in the classic movie, The Women. Which was nothing like Little Women.

Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars...which rhymes with cars and bars, which is what guys like.

I have concluded that it takes at least two to tango...two to really get the feeling of romance. But, in the case of some, it can take 3, 17, 25, 350. I think Casanova still holds the world's record for personal conquests, or maybe it was The Sultan of Baghdad or Brigham Young.

And it's not just men who believe that "variety is the spice of wife." Many women too like sampling fine vintage wines, savoring different delights or enjoying the variety of God's creations in The Garden of Earthly Delights.

That's why I found Demi Moore's article above so interesting. I can't wait for Charlie Sheen's upcoming treatise in Family Circle.

Note to Sandra Bullock: It's not you...as Erma Bombeck's book titled stated, "The Grass Is Always Greener Over The Septic Tank." (Also Movie: Carol Burnett and Charles Grodin.) In other words, guys do get into doo-doo because of that hoo-doo that you-doo from time to time.

HERE IS MY CONCLUSION:

It's all the fault of men. Period. All strife, turmoil, disfunctionality and heartache is to be laid at the cloven hooves of those disgusting pigs. Those vile reprehensible swine, who stray from loving home and hearth to roll in the hay, the mud and the satin sheets at Bellagio. (See Movie: The Hangover)

The odd thing is...those pigmen are usually (99.9999%) frolicking with women...sometimes women who have also wandered from loving home and hearth or been drop kicked through the goal posts of life by their exes. (See: Same Time Next Year with Allen Alda (George) and Ellen Burstyn (Doris))

But there is always hope for forgiveness and happiness. Just ask Bathsheba and King David or King Solomon and Sheba, Anthony and Cleopatra, Bill and Hillary, George Burns and Gracie Allen or Rick and Ilsa.

"It's still the same old story, a fight for love and glory, a case of do or die. The FUNdamental things apply...as time goes by."

As for me, I'm not tossing any stones at anyone else. I'm in the camp of live and let live and love.

BIG FAT BOLD TYPE NOTE: If any woman alive would like to learn the secret of how to have the most successful and joyous life long relationship with any man on the planet, all she need do is heed the advice of Napoleon Hill in Chapter XI of his classic, Think and Grow Rich, the 13 Steps To Riches.

My copy is "own-dated" by my own hand on June 6,1988, this coming D-Day I will have owned it for 22-years. So, far, I'm the only one my home who has read it. And, even though it is recommended above in bold type, 99.9% of the readers of this blog will not act on my recommendation to read it, let alone heed it.

Birk, Commonsensetarian, Citizen of the Republic, Mob of One, Sage in the Snuggie.

PS: There are really only two kinds of women in the world. 1) Chocolate-covered Concrete and 2) Concrete-covered Chocolate.

In either case, chocolate is involved and as Tina Turner sang, "What's love got to do with it." Or, as Cyndi Lauper warbled, "Girls just wanna have FUN."

Maybe those Make Love Not War folks were on to something.

I'm willing to revisit my assumptions of the '60's when I was a member of The Young Republicans. Hahahahaa!

The Possum Lodge Oath: I am a man. But I can change. If I want to. I guess.

 

 

A Year With Rumi...Birk Embarks On Another Journey Without Leaving My Deeply Compressed Den Chair Or Casting Off My Cozy Snuggie.

Dear Pals,

I highly recommend Deng Ming-Dao's 365 Tao.

My well-thumbed and heavily annotated copy has been in use since 1994, when it was "required reading" for Randy on our morning trek to Whitfield before he was able to drive himself.

It was how The Wise Buddha "tortured" The Grasshopper.

I have been a reader of Rumi and Pentangali off and on for perhaps a decade - yesterday, I found a book similar in structure to 365 Tao, but on the writings of the Sufi mystic Rumi.

It is entitled A Year With Rumi, Daily Readings assembled by Coleman Barks.

Who knows what a year of Rumi-nations might bring?

Birk, Commonsensetarian, Citizen of the Republic

PS: Is there a kinder and gentler Birk ahead?

Only time will tell...