Dear Pals,
October 17, 2013 was the DEADLINE for the biggest disaster in human history.
America's government was closed and without a CONTINUING RESOLUTION the world as we know it would End.
You couldn't even see the Grand Canyon or the World War II Memorial.
Even the hallowed halls of the Federal bureaucracy were silent and peopleless - it was as if they had all been lost in the Bermuda Triangle or swept away in The Rapture...it was as silent and empty as Chavez Ravine.
Yet the Sun came up.
Grass grew.
Babies were born.
Babies were conceived
( Some by "nonessential Government workers" who turned off Rachel Rae
and took advantage of the kids are at school time to play "Slap and Tickle! Hide the Pickle! )
Time ticked relentlessly forward.
Mary Love sold wine and ate chocolate-dipped bacon.
Ron Markland tuned his Testarossa.
John Carney lost the envelope.
John Beal's men fixed roofs.
John Sinclair sold cars.
Butch Suntrup sold more.
Life went on its way...
I even went bananas in the Birk Krazy Kitchen and baked a new Experimental Cookie
called "The Teenager's Face!" It'll cause a bigger breakout than the two clowns in FLAWDAH and the morons in Texas and Colorado combined!
I played with Ra. The Cardinals won.
Jameson's is on SALE. ( Of course, I stocked up!)
I bought the winning POWERBALL, MEGA MILLIONS, MISSOURI LOTTERY tickets.
Life went on.
The world did not end,
October 17th. was the anniversary
of the Bolshevik Revolution.
Lenin in! Kerensky out!
We did not go off the
Fiscal Cliff Claven!
Norm drank his American Patriot beer.
Steve put up the ceiling all alone and unassisted by Constuction Mama!
Wille released The Quacken!
Yo-Yo Ma whipped von Suppe's Light Cavalry Overture on the
St. Louis cultural creme de le creme at the very Tony and upscale
"The Red Velvet Ball."
FYI:
YO-YO Ma is code for You're On Your Own!
So be mellow as a cello dear lass and fellow while
"The White House" fiddles, diddles and piddles and Congress burns,
As for me I prefer George Burns with Jack Benny on the violin.
LOVER WARNING: Don't rosin up your beau to meet the Devil Down in Georgia
or diddle with her fiddle or plunk your "Magic Twanger Froggy" unless the kids are at school!
SUMMARY: In the interest of clarity.
Our leaders in Washedupington are all totally rational and sane.
Jon Stewart is sane.
John Carney is sane.
You, of course, are sane.
Jay Giardina can play the Ukekelele.
Big Don can do a full split followed by a back flip and a lateral arabesque off the stage
into the arms of Morpheus Miller.
BUT...
I am "Bat Shit Crazy" and after the 9-0 LA
WACHA-WACHA BAT BEATDOWN
maybe the Cardinals are too!
PARTING SLAP SHOTS:
I love GOVERNMENT SPEAK.
For example: "Continuing Resolution."
That's a misnomer.
Continuing Nonresolution is more like it.
Thank God we were saved!
O Mama Obama!
O Reid Indeed!
O Boehner! No Brainer!
O Cruz! You Can't Loose!
O Schumer! "It's not a tumor!"
O Reilly O Really...
The Daily Show is state of the art
Ask Colbert! Stewart's no fart!
(You knew that was coming...)
What a crock of do-do.
The bad smell in Washington is you know who.
Reelect Nobody!
Start over with me as
The Great and Powerful O.Z. Hoodoo.
( Call me Ozzie...I'll do a back flip if you like!)
"Who Do?
The man with the power of Hoo Doo?
Who do?
The man with the power.
What power?
Hoo Doo!
Who has the power?
You do!
Who do?
The man with the power..."
If you don't get it.
Please watch The Bachelor and the Bobbysoxer - Cary Grant, Myrna Loy and teenager, Shirley Temple. ( Later - Shirley Temple Black, who was in the Congress of The United States of America once upon a time.)
Gotta run my oatmeal is ready.
GO CARDS!
Beat the holy baked beans out
of whoever you are playing!
Kindest personal regards,
Birk
Commonsensetarian, Citizen of the Republic and a Mob of One
